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Things are looking better

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Sun, 10/12/2008 - 3:40pm

So the visit with my MIL went really well, which surprises me. She's off all her pain meds that made her so loopy & sleepy, so we actually had a nice visit. Next we have to go to Indiana for Thanksgiving (where MIL, "SS", and the BM live) We will try to arrange for SS to already be at MIL's house by the time we arrive so we don't have to go to BM's house to pick him up. So hopefully, if all goes well, we'll only have the see her when we drop him off when we leave town. Fingers crossed at least. Oh and we've agreed to switch custody back to joint (my hubby has sole legal & physical even though SS moved back to IN 2 yrs ago...isn't it strange that we have custody of hubby's ex-wife's son and he's not even my husband's kid? Weird to me!), and we only agreed as long as there is no child support order. So we'll have joint custody & the child support order will state that "each parent will support the child while in their care" so we legally aren't obligated to send her any money, but since he will still live with her except a couple weeks in the summer, we will send her some money. We just didn't want a court ordered amount because it will of course be like $650, especially since BM doesn't work. So instead we will send what we can when we can. So for now my stress level is down, there will be no custody or child support battle Smile

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Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 10/12/2008 - 9:17pm

Melis,

If it is not mandated by the courts why give up sole custody if your DH is not forced to do so?

Once you go to joint it is only a short step for her to be named the custodial parents and ultimately get court ordered CS.

Just curious

Good luck and best regards,

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Mon, 10/13/2008 - 8:12am

Well she was going to take us to court to try to get sole, but neither of us wanted a custody battle and since SS has actually been living with her for 2 years the courts would give it to her. So we said we'll give you joint if there is no formal child support order. If we went through the courts we'd have a much higher child support payment. Plus she has to wait 2 years to take us back to court to change it once we do this, and can only do that if something significant changes. The only thing that can change is her actually getting a job! So at least for the next 2 years we'll be locked into no child support order (even though we are actually sending her some money). But this is the first time she ever wanted to go to court in 11 years, and that just to get back joint custody. (She lost all custody 4 years ago when she got busted for drugs). So as long as we can all agree on a child support amount, which I think we can, we should be able to stay out of court Smile