sd wants a relationship with bf only
well, hubby finally messaged sd and said hi and that and asked her for tea one night. She rang i answered the phone no hello , so rude... because hubby dosent want to rock the boat either, he tried to talk but what she's put us through and how she is turning everything on to us, it was hard . She wants to have lunch with him, no one else dosent give a hoot about her four siblings who are confused as hell ... i know that they need to repair the damage but i was the bloody one all this time who put in the hard yacker , and now its nothing. i wish i never did anything. i wish i walked away a long time ago when the bm first started. hubby said how can he have relationship when he cant even be honest with or angry incase she gets the sh... well i said u r sill her father and if she has an attitude or what tell her not to disrespect you.
I was upset last night because im trying to be postive but this just keeps getting me down.
She only wants hubby. Now she says she is studying and that looking into law, god i laughed , her report card last term wouldnt even get her into kindy agin.
When she first came to us she said this and that i would try for a few months but then give up and get side tracked, it will happen because these people encouraging her at the moment are actually controlling her just like she said we did, but that wasnt like that i was trying to give her options. But i know right now law will be too hard for her to get her head around it. she did work experience at a hairdresser once and said it was too hard!!!! shes lost and just going with any suggestions.
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My sd is always being
My sd is always being allowed to behave however she wants and no one says anything. They are so afraid of her being mad at them, it is disgusting! I have sat and watched her treat people badly and I pretty much won't have anything to do with her because I'm sick of watching it!:barf: I think that the biggest reason that she and I don't get along is because I won't put up with it like everyone else does. She is extremely disrespectful to her father and he has talked with me about it. However, he just lets it go because he knows that it will only get worse if he tries to say anything. Makes me insane!!!
kinda like watching a train wreck!!
I don't know where these kids are coming from? When I was 18 I wanted to conquer the world, nothing or nobody was going to stop me. I wonder if my mother thought she was watching a train wreck? Anyway, it took me a while, but my train stayed on track.
Sounds like my situation, I knew sd 19 wasn't ready for college, but my opinion didn't matter. Sd said, I don't know what I want to do, I guess, I'll just go to nursing school, I said ok. Me being a nurse knows 1st hand how hard nursing school is, not just the clinical or bookwork, but the emotional stress can be overwhelming, and so I said, ok. Sd failed her required speech class, lost her scholarship, lost her free ride here, because of her hitting me (long story) so, now she works full time at walgreens. Hah!!
I say, sink or swim!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
I don't get it, either.
I couldn't wait to turn 18 so that I could be FREE and totally INDEPENDENT. I worked my butt off 60 to 70 hours a week at my job while carrying a full-time class load at college. I didn't want a free ride or a handout. I wanted to do it myself. What makes kids today so lacking in ambition? Someone tell me so that I don't do it with mine.
♥ ANNE 8102 ♥
"Stay thirsty, my friends."
~The Most Interesting Man in the World
My opinion is
That kids get too much given to them. They never have to work for anything, so they don't appreciate it when they get it. I see this so much with SD15, but also a bit with BD5. What I am doing with her is making her earn things. She has to do chores and she gets an allowance. If there's something she REALLY wants (has asked for it more than three times), I will agree to pay for half if she uses her allowance to pay for the other half. I hope this will show her that you have to work for what you have and will teach her to appreciate things once she gets them.
I'll let you know how it works in about ten years.
don't teach your children to be a victim!!
This is what I heard growing up, if it is worth doing, then do of right. Go to work everyday and EARN a living. Depend on yourself first! Life isn't fair. And I was taught by example also, not do what I say, not what I do.
This is what sd heard: it's not your fault, your dad owes us, poor me, it's not you, it's them, it was because your sick, everyone loves you!!
Lies lies lies!!!!!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
People who don't teach their kids
boundaries and responsibility actually do them a greater disservice because they are setting them up for failure. In the REAL world no one gives a damn that their BM is on drugs, absent, they are sick, shy or that their damn dog got hit by a car and died in their arms. GET OVER IT! The problem with children being victims is that their parents don't make them own their actions.
Our society has become one that freakin coddles kids so they never learn how to stand on their own two feet. Everyone participates and everyone gets a trophy. Remember when we were younger you worked hard to make the team, the grade, the club or whatever it was you were striving for. If you didn't make it, you felt bad, but you worked that much harder practicing for next years try-outs. Remember trophies were given to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place? Now EVERYONE and their mother gets a trophy even if they sucked. ArrrrgggghhhH!!! This one gets my goat.
We as parents should recognize our and our childrens limits and abilities. No I'm not saying that we shouldn't encourage trying and working hard to accomplish things. I am saying that if we've worked and worked and worked and there has been no real progress maybe we should steer them towards something that they are better suited for that showcases their talents and abilities. Everyone can't be a singer, athlete, cheerleader, etc. you know. We still need doctors, lawyers, veternarians, judges, nurses, teachers and a host of other HONORABLE, respectable professionals.
I have always wanted to be a singer, but I KNOW I sound like a beached beluga whale - horrendous. No living thing should be subject to my crooning abilities (except my family, they're stuck with it).
It goes back to what Anne mentioned in a post on Brouhaha if a person cares about you they will tell you what you NEED to hear, rather than what you WANT to hear. That is why we have so many freaking people go on American Idol howling at the moon and then getting mad at Simon for telling them the truth. It's past time that we were honest with ourselves and our children.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
amen!!
i completely agree w fearless (as usual) and the principlist. kids today ARE growing up in a different society that praises mediocrity and it doesnt help when these kids are "poor little children of divorce" hello!! most kids are nowadays. not saying that its rite but its the truth and it DOES NOT give them the rite to be lazy, rude, disrespectful, entitled little brats who treat everyone like shit and except the world handed to them on a silver platter. I was a child of divorce and did i use it as my crutch??? NO, i used it as every excuse to be an independent women who takes care of herself and is proud of what/who shes become.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Fearless - I absolutely love
Fearless - I absolutely love reading your posts!! You manage to mix common sense with some of the funniest s*** I have ever read!!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
I totally agree!!
I once heard sd tell dh that he just didn't realize just how much "pressure" she had to endure in the eighth grade. What a bunch of crap. This coming from a VERY bright girl who is just to lazy to do anything that isn't fun.
I think that kids are being done a great disservice when they are just handed everything and have no responsibilities or boundaries.