CS advice
DH got papers in the mail from BM attny, she wants his w2 from the passed three years and what he pays out, can he request the same of her??? and can he subpeona all her bills and wages to make sure she isnt lying? DH is scared since BM has only had her new job for 6 months that he is gonna get slammed for cs since she was reported making 19,000 in 06,07 and part of 08, and he was making 38,000 in 06,07,and part of 08. She now makes about 29000 a year with the new job but hasnt been a year yet!! Also she tried to claim some things that arent in her name or that the government pays for!! Is their any way around this or anything he can do to make sure he doesnt get nailed for a bunch of cs. They arent doing anything yet (since she has to pay off our attny and all the legal fees by july 1 or she gets 90 days in jail) but he has to submit those papers to his attny by next week and she may have her family pay her debt off so the cs hearing can take place and bm can get money out of dh, but we wanna make sure we know what we can and cannot do, and what would make us look better, any advice would be much appreciated!!
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i think anytime theres a custody issue
they ask for these things...if u have an attorney he/she shud be requesting the same...3 yrs is pretty standard so as to get a fair representation of income...say u had lots of OT one yr for example, they would take that into acct and not base CS on that yr and that abnormality. the w2s for both parties is a normal standard practice.
wait...why is this psycho getting cs anyway??? dont u guys have custody? even if she gets custody im sure it would be 50/50 at BEST, she shudnt even get that, only visitation from what youve said in prior posts...so there would be no cs, if anything, SHE shud pay u.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
BM was investigated for
BM was investigated for fraud per Job and Family service, and according to BM they made her go after DH for CS so she could pay them off, I think thats a bumch of BS, and her attny told her at the pre trial that her chances of getting cs are slim to none since she has them 8-16 hours a week! But we just wanna make sure we have everything on our side or as much as we can because time is only 1/3 of the calculation according to our attny
What???
BM is claiming Job and Family Service coerced her into suing for CS to pay them off?
Job and Family Services, is part of the Dept Of Family Services and is connected in most counties to CHILD and FAMILY Services through the umbrella agency the Dept of Human Resources. These are government agencies she's spreading rumors about. Is this what she's claiming to you on the side or in the court room???? She better be telling the truth or she is committing purgery and can go to jail for false claims against a government agency (I would think.)
That is bizarre!
If she's really saying that then I would contact someone at Dept of Human Resources and tell them.
"Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
but she hasnt had the boys at all
she basically abandoned them rite? and she just recently starting seeing them for visitation a few hrs a wk...whoever has custody gets cs...if they live w u and visit her she doesnt get cs from u
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
ITS 50/50
since the agreement is 50/50 she can go after cs, we havent yet gone for full custody since she disapeared we didnt see a need( yes we regret not doing it) Now DH is too scared to do it, because stark county SUCKS!
50/50
i thot w 50/50 no one paid...its like a wash??
and custody and visitation are separate...u can have jt custody but the kid lives w one parent primarily. so the "visiting" parent pays cs. i guess im just saying if its 50/50 and SHE can go for cs, why cant u?
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
With 50/50 it's not always a wash
When DH and BM divorced their income was about the same, they got 50/50 custody so there is no CS, however, DH is required to pay for everything for SD. Now, BM is in a much different situation and is making far less than DH, she could take him back to court and get CS at this point because of the difference in income. I guess all states are different but I don't think 50/50 always means no CS.
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren
what???
if their income is about the same and theres no CS, why does HE have to pay for everything???
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Because BM is a $$ hungry bitch
The judge would not grant CS because of income so she mandated that he pay for everything for SD. I mean she had it put in the decree that DH had to provide "pocket money" to SD any time BM took her out of town or even to the movies. She has and will always be about the $$ and control, some things just don't change.
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren
how can she mandate that???
why did the judge allow that? i dont get it...
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I have no idea
I never went to court with DH but the whole damn thing was like a huge circus. It took DH nearly 3 years to get a divorce because of all the nitpicking by BM. At first her demands were the DH pay for HER HOUSE (first and second mortgage) HER credit cards and an enormous amount of CS. He would have gotten standard EOWeekend visitation with SD. They were only married for 5 years.
When they first seperated the judge made DH pay all of her bills down to the cable and phone PLUS CS every week. DH had requested an emergency hearing because BM was not allowing him to see or speak to SD, when they got to court she told the judge that he had never paid a dime the whole time they were married and that he was abusive and a drug addict. He even had to pay to be drug tested monthly until they finally dropped that. It was the most rediculous thing I had ever heard in my life. Finally BM screwed up big time and DH ended up with Full custody of SD and they worked back to 50/50 after that. Just amazing what a judge can do to someone based only on one person's lies, she never had a shread of evidence and he never tested positive for any drugs.
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren
Same situation here
When my husband and BM got divorced they got 50/50 custody and had equal incomes so there was no CS. INSTEAD, husband agreed to pay a bunch of expenses, including daycare ($380 a month) and medical insurance ($125 a month) and education expenses (private school). So he might as well have been ordered to pay CS! That ended up being almost $1000 a month for one child! And he agreed to it, moron.
The only good thing that came out of it was that eventually SD didn't need daycare and we pulled her out of private school in the fifth grade. So those two expenses went away.
i hate the f'in court system
and most of the time these guys get screwed bc they cant afford a lawyer while paying CS and all the other BS...UGH. makes me sooo mad.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I don't think it's all the court system in these instances
I could be wrong, but I'm thinking that usually when you have a divorce or disillusion with 50/50 custody, the two parties go back and forth through their lawyers for the specifics of of the agreement regarding who will pay or what the division in payment will be for things like-
Daycare, school supplies, lunches, field trips,uniforms, after care at school,sports, trips, camps, etc etc.
Then when each party is "satisfied" they sign the agreement and the judge approves it and grants the divorce. I know that's how it happened in my case. In other cases of FC and NCP the judges more often intervene and make judgment on behalf of one party or the other. When we one full custody of SD 2 plus years after the divorce, BM conceded before a judge heard it (after 4 or more pre-trials and the day before the trial.) Then we went back and forth a few times on the agreement b/c BM added in things again and we wanted them taken out. But our attorney said that we could leave in that we were responsible for after school care if any, and tuition for private school if any, because A- we weren't going to have her in either of those situations, and B- once we had full legal custody, BM couldn't sign SD up for things and expect us to pay. She wasn't allowed to sign her up period.
Then the attorneys filed the new agreement, and the judge did "enter a judgment" on behalf of DH with the few things specified that BM wanted clarified, schedule B (I think) for holidays, and the division of medical bills (yeah right- that'll happen!)
So...
If your DH signed the agreement then he agreed to pay it. Attorneys don't always push men to say no, unless it is outrageous. In my DH's case, BM tried to put that he would pay all camp costs, overnight trips, and an annual birthday party. DH's attorney said to leave them but add in the phrase "that both parties agree to ahead of time." That was lifesaving phrase when BM tried to abuse the "camp" fees by enrolling SD in summer child care programs (pay by the hour to drop off your kid while you work) that had the word "camp" in the name. The first year DH ended up pay 600 for 2 weeks of YMCA over night camp, and also paid 800 out of 950 for child care at a local country club called "Fun and Swim Camp". He had no choice because he was using it. BUT the next summer I was home and BM refused to bring SD here for free (I've mentioned this a million times. BM refused that is, unless SD was sick needed cared for. THEN BM would let me care for her daughter because it was convenient.)
Anyway, BM harassed DH about this "camp" money she felt entitled to. DH said, "I offered you to bring her here for free. I'm not using those child care facilities this year. AND I didn't agree to those facilities being "camps." You'd better go back and read your agreement." To which BM said, "OH...I SUPPOSE you are going to read it word for word."
Ummmm....YESSSSSSSS. It's better than reading words INTO it like she did!
Anyway, I would think that perhaps in these cases your DH signed off because he was done trying to negotiate, or because he felt guilty, or because he was afraid that the BMs would try for more if he didn't, or go for full custody in order to collect more money/or out of spite.
If they ended up with 50/ 50 then I believe that's because the court doesn't have to make a judgment because the parents feel they can get along/communicate well enough for shared parenting.
That's been my experience anyway.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra