you would be amazed at what a revengeful ex can do with a video and the internet.....please be careful.

c

What you want today, might not be what you want tomorrow.....

I don't see the harm in giving a copy of the video to your stepdaughter. If she wants to feel the bond of the experience, then that might bring you closer together.
As far as the mom goes, if she wants to watch it and hurt herself then revel in the fact that you are the winner emotionally for growing up and physically for having the man you love by your side.
She can't do any damage to you that you don't allow her to....you are already married and you both know eachother well enough hopefully that she can't hurt your relationship with any immature antics.
Lisa Dawn

My wedding was private and personal to us and our guests, and it was small (35 p. total). If someone asked to see it I would say, ok, come over and we will watch it together. Anyone who you would not feel comfortable doing that with, doesn't need to see it.

It is yours, not SD's. But you can watch it with her at your house, is my take. Plus how many times does she really want to watch it? It does sound like it is her mom that wants it. And probably not for any good reason. She needs to make her own life now. IMHO

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

Like Evil said, it is her mom that wants to see it. How long ago did you get married? SD can watch it day in and day out at YOUR home if she wants, but there is no way I would let her take it home for BM to see. She would pick it apart "dog" you out the whole time. There is no reason to subject SD to this kind of ridicule...

these BM's we have prove again and again that they shouldn't be trusted. I too would be afraid that it would be altered and something put on the internet that would disrepect you and hubby. Let SD watch it at your house only. Tell her you can have some quality time together while you watch it with her.

My SS sneaked a copy of our wedding out of the house for his M to watch. Found out later that she sat there with the kds watching the video saying horrible things about both of us and had everyone in the room making bets about how long we would last.

desire to "show off" the people that she loves to the world but you aren't too sure that they would be real comfortable with that. So you suggest that she keep it at your house and maybe give her a picture that she can carry around or look at when she is thinking of you and dad.
Lisa Dawn

I've had to explain to my SD(7) that I am not related to BM's side of her family. The reason I had to do this is b/c SD was under the impression that DH, myself and BS(10) were related to BM's side of the family---including BM. DH & I explained that DH is no longer (Me & BS have never been) a part of BM's family. After we explained this to SD, SD seemed to understand the situation. This might be what you and your DH have to end up doing with your SD. With SD being older though, she might already understand this.

The only real reason why I could understand this of SD, herself, wanting to show her other family is if SD was in the wedding (say like a flower girl, etc). Then, and really only then, could I understand SD's motives. If this is the case for you guys then I would "edit" SD's part into a separate VHS or DVD. This is easy enough to do & then would satisfy that need for SD to show her BM & other members how beautiful SD looked.

If the "flower girl" thing is not there then I would have to say that this is coming from BM & her family. But on the other hand, in my case, my SD(4 at the time) raved to her BM how beautiful I looked in wedding dress, etc. My SD was excited about the whole thing. I think it probably upset BM. I think that is why BM never had SD ask for a video, etc. I think BM didn't want to hear SD saying about how wonderful everything was, ya know?

In the end, the choice is ultimately up to you---and really you only. If you do not feel comfortable with it then I suggest you don't do it. Because if the idea bothers you now---then the knowledge of BM having the video is going to drive you nuts.

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."