I've been struggling with this for quite some time. It started in the beginning when SD was 7; when we first started getting visitation with her. I was DH's constant before SD came into the picture on a normal basis (usually the kid is always there, then the stepparent comes into the pic).

So, first incident - first time my now DH and I held hands, SD was holding his other hand. She stopped, let go of his hand, started saying "no no no, you can't do that, get away" and started pushing me. I told DH quietly "check your kid." He asked her later what that was all about, she said she was just playing around - whatever, but he left it at that.

Then, she'd ask him to always carry him on his shoulders, put her socks and shoes on for her, etc. I understand the need for affection; probably because she doesn't see him that often. Maybe she was trying to make up for lost time by acting like a really small kid (things I'd expect from a 4-5 year old) when she wasn't. She basically wanted to be babied and carried everywhere. It was annoying when she's perfectly capable of walking to the car by herself..but I dunno. Most of the time he'd do it and I'd call him "sucker" or just pray that this would pass.

So, present day, she's now 11. I've been struggling with affection towards DH when SD is here. Usually, DH and I will sit on the couch, I'll rest my feet/legs on him and he'll massage my feet. When I came home or when I'm coming into the living room from another room, I find SD sitting on the couch where I sat trying to do the same thing. She's even asked DH to massage her feet too.

Then, I'll take SD somewhere. I'll kiss DH on the lips bye. She'll kiss DH on the cheek (she never does this).

Then, sometimes, when we're walking, DH and SD will walk ahead hand in hand while I'm behind (probably due to me carrying something or talking to someone that's with us).

Or, he'll throw his arm around her and she'll hold his hand with the arm that's over her shoulders.

Or, whenever we go out (the three of us), she'll cling onto his arm or always put her hand/arm on his shoulder...

I know I may sound jealous, but DAMN! how does one deal with this? I'm starting to feel like the only difference in affection is that they don't kiss on the lips or have sex! Is that the only difference or am I overreacting?

When I grew up, I wasn't that affectionate with my dad....and neither were any of my friends! even if their parents were divorced, so I'm at a loss here. I woke up at 4am this morning stressed! It's visitation weekend (we haven't seen SD since Xmas).

Usually, I stay around to spend time with DH and SD...and also so that SD doesn't think that just because she's here, she can push me away from DH (I do give DH And SD time alone). But, for some reason (and I'm four months pregnant btw), I just don't want to deal with it - I just want to leave.

Has anyone felt this way before?