Can she do this?
So my bf's ex told him yesterday that she was going to move and take their 2 year old daughter with her, saying that she needs to be by her family meaning her mom. However, they have never gone to court to determine who has custodial custody. So my question is can she even do that? She has thrown out the idea of a month at one house and then a month at the other. But that can't be good for the child, right? Then when she starts preschool the ex presumes that their daughter would go to preschool in her town, meaning that she would have given herself custodial custody. My bf wants to go to court but is it worth it? We are really worried since his ex treats their daughter like a walking talking cabbage patch doll; she plays with her for maybe an hour and then gets bored and sends her to her dad. He has her around 80% of the time so we seriously doubt that the ex can handle her for long periods at a time. Then there is the fact that ex is a self admitted alcoholic partier, another reason my bf has his daughter so much, and we are worried that ex would expose daughter to things that she shouldn't if she was unable to find a baby sitter.
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BM did this during their divorce...
and we fought it. Just the motion caused BM to let the girls stay with us until a resolution was reached during final orders. I agree with Cruella that if she's trying to move across state lines, file asap. It can be a nightmare after she's already moved.
No matter what, you should have a visitation schedule that you are able to refer to. Otherwise there is too much room for confrontation.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Sure, she can.
Why not? There's no court order preventing it, so she can do whatever she wants with her child. So could he, theoretically, but I wouldn't want to try that with the pro-mother biased court system we have in this country. The bigger question is what does the child's father want to do about all this? If he wants any kind of custody, he'll have to go through the courts to get it. That's going to cost time and money. Lots of it. And it won't be pretty.
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook
My 2 cents
I am assuming here that your initial question is whether or not your BF can actually stop his beloved daughter from being ripped out of his life and the answer to that is yes.
Correct me Anne if I am wrong here but I think you are saying that it should be the ultimate responsibility of the BF here to make sure that what he wants for his daughter is in writing.
So much of what we go through is the unclearities of the unwritten.
I would exhaust all my time and money to make sure that I was doing what was in the best interest of the children.
Just make sure that this is infact that. There are three sides to every story. I just read a blog from Anne on taking responsibility for our own parts in the distention of the step parents role and agree on many points. I will say however that you have to make that decision on your own and if you and your BF are willing to fight then yes, there is a way.
File and emergency motion with the courts to keep the move at a hault until it can all be worked out in the court.