First of all - Hooray! Everything went so well! Ok, now I'll let you know what happened.

So my attorney was there to meet me bright and early in the morning. BF said that every time he has gone to court with BM, they have sat in the 'pews' and waited through everyone else's cases until theirs was finally heard. Today, we were the first people in there - and the only people in there at the time. I was relieved that no one was in there to listen to her air her dirty laundry.

She kept her head down the entire time, and she looked so upset and angry. She kept writing in this little notebook - notes that never came out in the hearing and she never used, so God knows what she was doing. Probably just some reason to keep her head down so that she wouldn't catch my eye. I kept my head high and smiled at people, speaking to them when spoken to, and kept a pleasant look on my face. We were like night and day. To my relief, neither of us had to speak at all. I'm very glad for this. I don't know how the words would have come out if I had to speak. I was very good at acting pleasant and calm but if I had to talk, I think my voice would betray me. Thankfully, I didn't have to find out! Plus, if I had had to listen to her rattle on about how much of a victim she is and how horrible I am I think I would have puked on my little petitioner table! :sick:

Her attorney was so ready and raring to make me look like a fool. He said that all of my documentation, which "has been transcribed by SOMEONE, we don't know who..." and "even if it IS true, which we have no proof of, STILL doesn't constitute a restraining order," basically trying to make me look like I'm making up stuff which still isn't enough justification to get a restraining order. I don't see how her following me in her car or taking pictures of me entering and leaving my home doesn't count as stalking...nor do I understand how 19 pages of dates and times of every email she's ever sent me - that's two columns per page - doesn't count as harrassment. BUT oh well. When her attorney took a break to speak and listen to the judge's comments, my attorney unzipped his attache to take out his tape player and three microcassettes - all with recordings that she's left for me at various places. That shut her attorney up quickly on the "validity" of my evidence.

My attorney said that it was appropriate to point out that all of the correspondence was one-sided, from her to me. Suprisingly, they didn't even argue that point. I'm wondering if she even prepared her attorney at all for this hearing...

My attorney talked about all of the other lawsuits that were floating around - the two orders of protection, the phone harrassment lawsuit, etc. He said that none of these matters had ever gotten BM to stop - she continued to harrass me through all of them as if nothing had happened. UNTIL she was served with this restraining order! Then, magically, all contact stopped. (And it has been WONDERFUL!)

The judge was already familiar with our case, having represented my BF as a lawyer a year or so ago when she filed her first bogus order of protection against him. He pointed out several times during the hearing that he was "very familiar" with this situation, and that it "has been ongoing for QUITE SOME TIME". My attorney used this opportunity to point out that as it has been three years that I've been putting up with this, this is the first and only thing I've ever done legally toward her or to try to stop it...and I didn't even file a criminal charge against her, just a civil charge. He said that it's pretty obvious I'm not looking for trouble, I just want the contact to stop. He said we don't care what it takes, if the judge wanted to grant a mutual restraining order that was fine, I just want it to stop.

It was at this point that her attorney changed his game. He went from trying to make me look like a fool, to being the guy who sees this from all angles. He talked about how "this happens all the time" when people divorce and new people come into the picture, people get jealous, etc. He went into how a large portion of the correspondence from her to me was under the guise of talking about SS, which he explained SHOULD be between BM and BF only. He said that all parties need to be admonished for mixing things up and making this situation worse than it really was. This was HER attorney!

The judge granted us a mutual restraining order. He said the reason he did that was so that neither of us can feel like we have a one-up on the other, or say "I have a restraining order on her, so I can still contact HER and she can't do anything about it." My lawyer, at the very end, said that he would like to motion for BM to have to pay the court costs. He briefly went over how BM had brought us to court so many times, BF and I, and he thought it was only fair. The judge agreed with him, and BM had to pay!

Walking out of the court room, I discussed how BM had already used my restraining order once as reason to deny visitation, and probably would again unless it was addressed in court. Unfortunately we couldn't take care of that today even if we wanted to. But he said, loud enough for her to hear, "If we get it put in front of THIS judge that she's denying him visitation when he's current on his child support, she'll find her ass in jail." I know she heard him, too...she made a VERY quick exit. We talked about how if I accidentally bump into her at a store, not to worry and not to file for contempt of court. I said of course I wouldn't unless she went out of her way to follow me or talk to me. He warned me to be ready, because she probably would go out of her way to "coincidentally" be in places where I am so she can sue me for contempt. I said fine, let her, it'll only make her look worse

So that's where I am. HOORAY! I'm so happy everything went so well :O