I was married for 10 yrs and the mutual friends we had just seemed to fade away. Some had "loyalties" to him and didn't believe a word I said, and vice versa. Life changes with a divorce. Some things you never thought of. The ex and I hang in two totally different circles so i was fortunate enough not to have to deal too much with that issue.

I guess it's hard for the mutual friends too as I have also been on that side of the fence. I have always tried to remain neutral and a support to both, but eventually I felt pulled in all directions and severed ties with each of them.

I didn't say much, but I hope it helped! :o)

Just like our marriage, they were suddenly gone. Most of our mutual/couple friends came about through his employment. After we split up/divorced, he was able to maintain contact daily, where I was not. I tried to keep up with some of the wives for a while, but it became awkward and uncomfortable. Like my ex, my belongings, my financial well being, my friends were gone to.

My ex and I weren't married, but we were engaged for 3 years before we finally split up. It was like we were married, because we were together for 6 years and everyone thought of us as an old married couple. Emotionally we were married.

Our friends were pretty mutual between us, and I pretty much met them through him. When we broke up, I found that most of them were pretty torn between being "his" or "mine". And like StressedSM, they were gone. But a funny thing happened at the local coffee/brew house we used to hang out at (after work crew). Both of us used to go there, but it was usually different times of the day or week and the circle of friends that we had mutually, ended up pushing him away. He eventually ended up being forced out of his own 'hang out'. I never talked about our break up, I just moved on.

It turns out that most felt alittle torn and guilty, because he was cheating on me behind my back. (Which was the reason I split as soon as I found out.) Apparently, he flirted with other women, met them there, you name it. I came to the coffee shop one day, to grab a cup on my way back to work, (it was an unusual time for me because I had a Dr. Appt.), when I noticed him sitting out on the patio. His back was to me, and he had this girl sitting on his lap. He couldn't see me from his position walking up. He was having a good ole time flirting with this young lady. I walked up calm and collective- biting my tongue all the way!- and just gracefully sat on the seat next to him. Boy you should have seen his eyes! This gal had no idea who I was, and she looked so confused. I gently leaned in acrossed my ex, put my hand out and said... "Hi, I'm "stepmom", his FIANCE." Oh, she got off his lap in a hurry! It turns out that he'd been doing this on and off for a couple of years. So, I just moved on. If the 'mutual' friends didn't have the heart to say something to me from the start, then I didn't need them.

I did live pretty alone through that time in my life. I sheltered myself and drove into my work. Funny thing is that I stop by the same coffee shop every now and then. Sometimes run into a few folks here and there. I say hello, but we're not as 'close' as we used to be, that's for sure. AND, I met my DH there. So, I turned a soar thing into a great thing!

I was married for 17 years before my divorce. Only one set of friends are still friends with both of us whom are my daughters GodFather and his wife. The rest just faded away.