Attention seeking behaviour
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Hello all!
I'm new here, just after a bit of advice!
Partner and I have been together for three years, living together the past six months.
Partner has a five year old son from a previous relationship.
My DSS is a lovely little boy. He can be very caring and is very intelligent (Excelling in school and,as kids that age will do, excelling in finding ways to try and wrap both us and his mum and stepdad, round his little finger
Welcome It's normal for his
Welcome
It's normal for his age to start pushing boundaries to see how far he gets with getting his way, he's building his own little personality.
The issue would be how the adults handle it... do they think it's cute and encourage, do they ignore it cause they do not want to upset him, or do they simply tell him, no kiddo that's rude to say that, wrong to do that etc.
Ahah it somehow posted my
Ahah it somehow posted my topic before I had finished typing and seems to have posted it twice! Technology not my forte. It is standard five year old attention seeking behaviour such as interrupting, refusing to get ready, throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way, etc). We are trying to be consistent in enforcing behaviour etc, but I know my partner feels bad that he has to spend so much of DSS's time here telling him off. The main issue we have is him refusing to get ready to go out, even if it is something he enjoys that he needs to get ready for, such as seeing his grandparents who he adores, or going to running club with his Dad that he has been excited for all week..
DSS has had a lot of big things happen this year (His dad and I moving in together, him starting school, his mum having a new baby). Looking for some tips to deal with it consistently, but also how to support DSS with all these big changes, as his behaviour has definitely got worse in the last year or so and I'm worried he is struggling.
"but I know my partner feels
"but I know my partner feels bad that he has to spend so much of DSS's time here telling him off"
and that's your answer..... If you are a true parent you have to keep doing it and in the right way, my kid would only try once telling me NO, one look in his direction got me a sorry mummy and he would start moving...
Parents are never popular with their children lol
I know what you mean! If this
I know what you mean! If this were my child I would be a lot firmer. I hear it in my partner's voice sometimes that he is faltering, I'm sure DSS can hear that 'weakness' too. I'd talk to my partner about this, but I don't want to go about it the wrong way. Hmmm.
I kind of understand where
I kind of understand where your DH is coming from... It gets really hard when you feel like you're ALWAYS having to handle negetive behaviour. My SD is 5 and she's at a similar stage where she's testing boundaries, coming into her own personality, and overall, thinks she knows best all the time LOL. We spend more time correcting her than anything else, and it does suck. I miss being able to have fun with her and taking her out places and rewarding her.
What we've done is keep consequences consistent... and remind her that consequences are natural reactions to her behaviour. We've pretty much got her understanding that if she's in time out, banned from TV, whatever the consequence is, it's because SHE chose it. So when she's misbehaving, we'll tell her "SD, if you keep it up, you will [insert consequence here] but if you stop, that won't happen." than we let her make the choice and she's treated accordingly.
It's kind of funny. She's at the point where if she's in her room on a time-out, and you go ask her "who's keeping you in here?" she says "I am" because she knows it's HER behaviour, not us being mean. When she behaves well, we jump at the chance to reward her with a trip to the beach, some icecream, whatever it is, we make sure to reward it so she'll continue behaving well. It's still occasional - maybe once or twice a week to be honest. 5 seems to be a hard age lol.