So he turns 18 during his junior year? Interesting. Legally, he'll be able to do what he wants.

But it sounds like he is still very dependent and dh could probably still influence him. If you think he won't finish high school at aunt's house, I would make an effort to prevent it.

First, I might try calling the aunt directly. Ask her what's up. Maybe aunt has been fed a load of goods by her sister. Or maybe aunt is expecting a live in babysitter. If it's the latter, I would start giving ss a bunch of brochures on first aid classes and parenting classes. You know, totally embrace the idea he's going there and you want to help him be prepared! He will likely back out on his own.

Think up a bunch of stuff like that, you can likely get him to stay if you want and if you think it's best for him. I would certainly try.

I'd be jumping for joy and asking him if he needs help packing. BUT, also lay down the rules. You move out, thats it. You are out. Turn the basement into your own space. I'd be setting up a new craft room haha.

I'd tell him that if he chooses to leave now then let it be known now he isn't coming back.

I agree that ping ponging between houses should not be allowed, however it might be wise to get SS to try taking things a semester at a time. Your H could emphasize how important that HS diploma is and establish boundaries regarding returning to your home.

Both of my SD's were allowed to live with their grandparents for their senior years. The reason was that the BM school district was abysmal and both girls really started to have butt head issues with their BM. (BM would be either their friend or go off the deep end at them.. her modus operandi).

Living with us wouldn't have been much better as our schools weren't that much better. Also, DH worked out of town for his job. Plus, the BM wouldn't have agreed to the girls being with US (read me..lol) at that point. So, DH promised to continue to pay BM full child support if she would allow them to live with the GP's who were in a small town but a better school and both of them would be at home to watch after the girls. Plus, we spent a lot of time down in that area ourselves.

We also sent some money to the GP's to help cover the cost of food etc.. but they never asked for that.

Not sure what the support order stipulates. State law also varies on the "age of majority" when the child can be unsupported by their parents. Technically, the kid can be told in most places.. 18? Move wherever you want but we are no longer obligated to support you financially. Generally if there is CS involved, that should be paid until the child graduates HS I think.

If I was dad, and the kid was already on thin ice with grades etc.. I would probably tell him that he would not support a move and think that the kid needs to stay at home. Once he graduates, he can go wherever he wants.

Both my SD's were fairly decent students with relatively few behavioral issues so letting them go to a better school to finish out HS was a no brainer.

I would not involve myself in this matter lol, I will be the one putting champagne on ice for celebrations..

Aergia did the same thing age 15... jumped between houses, the second time I told SO, you have to teach her about handling conflict, he agreed and told her, now if you move to BM again, you will not be allowed back to move in... only for visits.... dammit bitch never moved out again, We made it clear, away from home for more then a week = moving out, she always return on day 6....stay for 4 and leave again for 6... suits me just fine.

Oh and work on your DH, if SS does not graduate he will never be allowed back.

Sure DH can do something about it. He is the CP I presume since the SS-17 lives in his home. He needs to nail BM's ass to the wall on this and let SS-17 know that he isn't going anywhere until he either turns 18 or graduates.

Zero tolerance and bringing the pain works on this kind of crap.

DH needs to do it.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.