DH won't deal with dangerous SS18 behavior
I live in a residential neighborhood and get along really well with all of the neighbors. It's a great place to raise kids.
SS18 who is annoyingly jobless right now and spends all his time running around with friends has become a 'problem' with the neighbors.
He has no license, so his friends come pick him up. When they do, they screech their wheels and go flying down the street (25mph zone) at ridiculous speeds.
I have mentioned this many times to my husband for him to handle as I am disengaged due to the fact that my husband has never allowed me to parent this kid.
I was outside gardening when a neighbor pulled up and told me that the entire street is fed up with the speeding and that something needs to be done. If we don't do something, they are going to call the cops. (I'm all for it!)
I went inside and asked my husband to PLEASE address this issue with his son as it is becoming a concern for the neighborhood and we have a responsibility to keep the street safe.
He shrugged, and looked at me guiltily and said, "well, I've mentioned it to him."
Oh....you've MENTIONED it to him?!
I said, "WHAT are you doing? You can't keep NOT parenting this man-child! He has no job, has no respect for others safety, doesn't life a finder around the house...just seriously, WHAT are you DOING?!"
He said he'd talk with him again.
I said no, what you DO, is when his friends pull up, YOU go out to the driver of the CAR and you TELL HIM that he needs to slow the hell down!
Has he done that? No.
This to me is something that can't be brushed under the rug like he does with everything else concerning this kid.
Should I intervene? I have NO problem going outside and letting these hoodlums know they need to knock their shit off.
^^^THIS 1000%^^^
^^^THIS 1000%^^^
Yes, Absolutely let your
Yes, Absolutely let your neighbors know that you have no problem with them contacting the police.
Also, if I were you, I might direct my words towards the actual offenders.. Skid's friends. Oh, yeah it will be mortifying but, what the hey.
Hey Friend One of SS18, just wanted to give you a heads up that the neighbors told me they are tired of you burning rubber in their neighborhood. I think they are planning to call the police.
Friend two, you know there are kids playing around her, you need to be following the speed limit, we have already gotten several complaints.
SS18, If we continue to get complaints from neighbors about your friend's driving habits, you will be WALKING to the edge of the subdivision for your ride from now on.
TBH, it's not SS18 who is
TBH, it's not SS18 who is directly being dangerous.. but his buddies. I know the pain. A few drivers in my neighborhood are terrible I wish the police would patrol around 7 am!
Call the cops and call the
Call the cops and call the DOT and ask them to install speed bumps up and down the street.
I'd call the cops
I'd call the cops myself.
Give them the license plate and tell them you suspect a drunk or high driver.
If they get pulled over every time they leave your house, they'll stop coming.
NOTSOBAD....bingo Why does
NOTSOBAD....bingo
Why does your husband allow his son to hang out with such aholes?
Sandra1, I know your upset
Sandra1, I know your upset and for good reason.
I promise you dh will deal with it when the phone rings and it's ss calling from the clinker.
SO soooorrrry.
I hope your ss stays safe.
I really hope he does if it
I really hope he does if it ever come to that, but my experience is that dad won't deal with it.
He'll make excuses and say how it wasn't SSs fault, he just got in with a bad crowd. How jail is overkill and the only reason SS was arrested is because jails are now big business. Or some such rhetoric.
I hope SS stays safe too and that speeding is the worst thing OP ever has to deal with. Life will be simpler if this is the most parenting that this guy has to do.
Sandra you already intervened
Sandra you already intervened by talking to your husband, When the neighbor talked to you, you should've smiled and said, Yes I know, I've talked to him about it but seeing I'm the Evil SM he ignores me, please go ahead and call the cops.....
alternatively you can simply call the cops and ask them to stake out the street and fine their asses, daily if they have to.... this might stop them from coming over, but then you will have to sit with this brat all the time cause his friends will drop him like a hot potato....
The home situation, if your name is on the deed as co-owner, simply tell SS, fine you have X months to get a job and pay rent or you are out and keep your word, if DH say anything, smile and say... guess you also will be moving by that time then, we might as well put the house up for sale now.
Put down your foot woman and take control.
I deal with a violent 17 year
I deal with a violent 17 year old step son. His violence is physical and everyone in the family has been hurt. I have been slapped, punched, pushed, had things thrown at me. My husband spent years denying the problem. I tried to intervene, called the cops many times and it always ended in a fight. Until the biological parent is ready to deal with it, the step parent is helpless.
Had this problem with the SS
Had this problem with the SS years ago when he got his license. Got fed up and told him the next time he did that I would throw a brick through his window. He knew I was serious. A friend of mine did that years ago to another person years ago that was doing the same thing and that solved the problem.