Ss under investigation...
Forums:
Well...It happened.
After one week of good behavior, DH lightened up on Ss (after his suspension from school). Ss had received a good report from school on behavior/attitude/grades. Ss asked if two "friends" could get off the bus at our house, DH said yes. Little did we know, Ss and the "friends" were planning for the two friends to fight and Ss video from a cell phone so it could be posted online. Dh was working two hours away when the call from the investigator came the next day. For Dh's sake I went and sat in the room while Ss was questioned and gave a statement. Now it's up to the parent of the child who was beat up, to decide if she wants to press charges. Ss can be charged with accessory & bullying.
and the problem is right
and the problem is right there... after a week DH slacked on the parenting....
when kids are between ages 12-19 you never ever slack on parenting..
I truly hope this late press charges and SS get community service, and the judge should agree that the bullied kid can record them daily and post it on internet..
I agree! The mom has asked
I agree! The mom has asked "me" to meet with her before she tells the investigator how she wants to proceed. Yesterday was a horrible day at home. DH told BM to come get Ss. He had a meltdown after they left, as did Ss. BM brought SS back home and the three of them had a 2 hour talk. SS threanted suicide if he is grounded to his room, he also threatened to run away if he is grounded. BM had a meltdown then. Thankfully DH was able to hold it together. He spoke to SS more after BM left, and stood by the decision to ground him. DH thinks the threats are another form of manipulation. I don't know? We had agreed to take him to the Dr already, because of the threats to run away if he was grounded (they are pretty regular). I don't want to ignore a cry for help, but I also don't want to give in if it is a form of manipulation. I am supposed to be disengaged from this kid, but he is my husband's son & he affects our relationship - It could be good or bad - he still affects us.
You can disengage from SS and
You can disengage from SS and not DH.. simply tell BM - it's between you and DH, and DH it's between you and BM, I have no legal rights towards the child. Cause you don't.
SS threatening running away, killing himself if he gets grounded... pffft if I had to have a melt down every time my kid did that to emotional black mail me - I would've ended up in the nut house, it's manipulation, not a cry for help. SS caused shit and he gt caught... his ego is damaged and he's not the big man he thinks he is....
I simply told Deigma - on a threat he will kill himself - Sonny boy, if you feel it's the best solution then go ahead and kill your self, just do it outside cause I just cleaned the house... he started crying and said I don't love him lol.... I simply said I love you but I don't like you currently
When Deigma said he will run away, I walked to his room and packed a bag and said - at least I can sleep tonight I know you have clean undies, toothbrush and toiletries... off you go I'm tired...
Last night when I came home we had a tiff about the state of the kitchen, I scolded him, he's 21, bugger told me he pays rent, he's not the maid, I simply told him... fine I will clean, wrote him a month's notice he needs to be out of my house by end March..... this morning he woke up half an hour early and washed the floors lol....
I keep to my story and said - I will keep the eviction out my month end, or we do a new contract with house rules...
Lol! I tried to tell
Lol! I tried to tell everyone that the "threats" are just that, but then they get so upset about the "what if's", it makes me feel like a cold hearted bitch.
Thankfully DH didn't have the meltdown in front of SS, and stood by his decision to ground him even after the threats.
I said some pretty nasty things myself yesterday regarding SS (to DH) & when they decided SS would stay...I packed my stuff & left for hours. DH called asking me to come home and talk to him. DH told me he is going to take care of these issues. He admitted (so did BM, before the threats) they relied on me for too long to do their job & that's why I was at a breaking point and SS was rebelling like he is. I slept in my bed, but I did not unpack my things.
We shall see...
smile and tell DH - IF the
smile and tell DH - IF the sky should fall we all will be wearing blue hats...
if you shit in your one hand and make a wish out of the other - nothing will happen but a stinky hand..
if if if.. that's why kids get away with shyt.... cause their parents are scared.
I would still disengage from SS if I were in your shoes, you've done what you can, now his parents can take it over... and if SS should have a melt down in front of you with threats, bite back with full force, shock his little ass to dooms day and back.
My Winona SD17 has regularly
My Winona SD17 has regularly done what I call "play the depression card". She suffers from "anxiety", so she takes pills, and suffers from this and that, taking multiple medications (I don't think she realy needs all that - just using as a crutch). Shes rude, mean, disrespectful, and when anyone calls her out on it (me), she threatens to kill herself. WEll, my younger brother actually did this several years ago, she knows this is painful and she likes to push buttons, so she will direct those comments to me "I should just kill myself like YOUR brother did".
When she sais this, her parents fall over themselves - their precious snowflake!!!!!!! OH we must treat her with delicacy and give in to her, and not ask anything of her, no repercussions for being a rude, mean, manipulative person.
Well, after having this go-round for about 3 years, Miss Precious Snowflake has turned into a sociopathic liar, thief, shes still lazy, dirty and rude to her parents (she cant be rude to me anymore I am disengaged)
Oh no. Sorry to read this.
Oh no.
Sorry to read this.
Sorry, should have
Sorry, should have stated...He recorded on the friends phone. He does not have his phone. It was taken up at school sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am the only one available to get it during school hours (DH works long hours) & refuse to go get it. However, we were both just at the school for the conference after the suspension and DH didn't ask for it either...
He does need to go to
He does need to go to reformatory school. He belongs there. He is a terror to all the other kids in the classroom.
If finances would allow it,
If finances would allow it, he would have gone the week he was suspended. DH & I looked into it, we just can't afford it.
Did I read correctly that you
Did I read correctly that you sat in on the interview between SS and the police instead of DH? You need to stop doing things like that. The interview could have waited until DH was available.
Now the mother of the victim wants to talk to you before deciding if she wants to press charges? Do not meet with her. You need to step back from this situation. There is no way that this ends well for you if you become involved in a criminal case involving SS.
I know. I just feel like I
I know. I just feel like I am letting DH down if I don't help him. I am trying to step away from it. Thanks for reminding me.