We argued
Husband called me yesterday and immediately started saying he was very angry. Angry bc when he left in the morning the kids had left some lights on( I pay everything in my house). Angry bc I wanted to relax on couch day after xmas. I told him I had deep resentment bc he said we would sell our houses and get a home together. He blew past that, said it is still not off the table ten years later! I laughed and said life is short and I called him a coward. For staying in an unfinished house, keeping me on the hook all these years. And my resentment building. He can not admit that we have a pretend marriage and we really don't have a life. He then pulled out about his daughters. I have baggage. I need to get over myself. (Interesting that when he told me he was taking daughter fancy vacation ....and I had no comment but to tell him to enjoy......a few hours later his mood changed noticeably and he nit picked on me and my kids)
In our exchange by phone, of course he had to say Fuck you to me at least once. He then said that this conversation is pointless. Have a great day.
I admit I think this is the end. I also know that I could have left out my resentment over the houses. I also think this was coming. Don't forget this was the man who 3 months ago packed up his car and left on our wedding anniversary. I see he has been calling his daughter long distance. Twice a day. He has his ready replacement. This man does not need intimacy. He needs a phone buddy.
I feel very sad. 10 years of my life, back and forth.
Newimprov, My heart goes out
Newimprov,
My heart goes out to you; this has to be an on-going horrible experience for you; it sounds like it is one you tried to fix, that cannot be fixed my one person. Credit yourself for doing your best and then begin your exit planning from this relationship to protect your own mental health. He is emotionally abusing you, just with the words you stated he expresses frequently to you.
You deserve better. Stop fighting and figure out your next move away from this animal. You deserve somebody who treats you like a lady. The transition is the hardest part, but in time, you will be happy again.
You cannot be happy with this man!
Protect yourself from him now....
The good thing is you don't
The good thing is you don't have to move out. You just have to move on. There's a whole new world out there for you.
File first, hon. Your
File first, hon. Your marriage has been over for a long time. This situation has you so worn down; take back some for your power.
Find a shark lawyer who will ensure that that selfish, controlling, disordered, self-medicating jerk has to sell his shrine of a house just to pay you off.
Do you want to be THAT woman? The one whose husband left her repeatedly?
You win when you get away from him.
I actually have a friend that
I actually have a friend that lives a similar arrangement. She spend a lot of time being lonely. He isn't awful to her but it is a hard life even when the love and respect are there.
If he can be this awful to you, it isn't worth it. You h have to be strong. You must care for yourself.
Wishing you strength and a little luck to get where you want to be. Many hugs.
I have never felt this
I have never felt this depressed. I guess someone walking out on you on your anniversary and then 3 months later on the day after xmas makes you not feel trustful. This is also my second failure at marriage. And finally the dog that dh professed to love more than me died in my arms less than a month ago. So I am grieving my dog and also have come to the realization that dh really did marry me for my dog. I think a big part of me wanted to believe that a) dh must have been drunk at the time he said it, or b) I totally made it up in my head as dh alleged. Considering he left 26 days after the dog's death, I think he meant it, saying he loved the dog more than me. My head is spinning.
Hey better to "fail" at two
Hey better to "fail" at two marriages then to spend your life miserable. You only have one life. Put the past behind you, take out the trash, clear the clutter and start the new year with HOPE. It is sure to be better than the old year