Court is not going to order a paternity test for a nine year old with or without a lawyer. Your H is the legal father and that is not going to change even if a DIY paternity test proves he is not the biological father.
The question is what do you think will happen after the DIY paternity test? The support order will stay in place no matter what a DIY paternity test shows.
No need for a CO to do a DNA test. There are many ways to do it privately. If it shows that DH is not the father... then you can engage an attorney to go forward officially to deal with the legalities, have an official DNA test completed and see how to move forward with getting DH off of the hook for this kid if that is what he chooses to do.
I am not sure what the likely outcome will be or if it is even possible for him to have his paternity voided.
Problem is SS hasn't been for visitation for 3 months now. DH was told by his ex she cheated the entire marriage. But was she saying that to hit a nerve or was she being honest. Can't help him having doubts after that.
Oh, I would definately have doubts and I would get the kid tested in the situation you describe. If it turned out the kid was not mine... I would make the destruction of that lying extorting skank whore my greatest and most enjoyable hobby for the rest of my life.
I would sue her for every penny I had ever spent on her and the kid with penalties and interest, I would press any criminal fraud or related charges I could get traction with, and I would own her idiot ass including letting anyone who had any history with her at all know her entire characterless adulterous history. Her friends, her family, her church, her work, etc, etc, etc......
Depending on the relationship I would consider supporting the kid and once he was an adult I would engage with him as much as his behavior would justify including remaining his dad, helping him with school, etc, etc, etc......
I know, petty and vindictive but that kind of crap I cannot forgive nor can I let it go without bringing as much consequence as I can possibly bring down on a toxic POS like that BM.
The one thing my XW did right was not getting pregnant while we were married and attempting to stick me with the spawn of her polluted adulterous womb. As infrequently as we were intimate the odds of it being mine would have been zero and none compared to the odds of it being the product of her many adulterous flings.
Phew. I feel better now. I truly hope that this child is your DHs. That would be far better than your DH having to live with the knowledge that the BM stuck him with someone elses kid without his knowledge.
As you can probably tell .... I have some history with an adulterous XW. My XW married me solely for the support I provided and the money she thought my family had. She was cheating from the very beginning and if I had not been so niave it probably would have been obvious. In my world at that time marriage was a lifetime commitment between loving and caring equity life partners. It was never that for her with me or either of her two subsequent husbands/out of wedlock baby daddies. She was pregnant with her first pregnancy while we were still married and was pregnant when she moved out. She lost that one a couple of months later. She was pregnant again before out divorce was final and had two oowl spawn with her geriatric Fortune 500 sugar/baby daddy before he finally would marry her. He divorced her when she became pregnant with the spawn of her adultering POS boy friend and had that kid oowl too. Her 2nd husband left in the middle both her cheating pregnancy and the middle of a federal embezzlement investigation against her entire family due to my XMILs ripping off her long term employer for $Millions. 9 years after my divorce the family ultimately settled for several $Million of which my XW was nailed for about $2Mil. As they were walking out of the civil court the Federal Marshals arrested my XMIL. My XMIL pled guilty to embezzlement charges and spent several years in federal prison to keep the Feds from nailing my XFIL and two of their three kids including my XW.
Sperm donor #2 eventually married her.
I feel for your DH having to deal with this. Not knowing if his son is actually his must be torture. This is very different than accepting a SKid as your own or adopting. That is an informed and conscious decision to make but being stuck with a kid that is not yours that was presented as yours would be gut wrenching to deal with. At least it would for me.
Wow sounds like you've been through the ringer. We will sue her only because it's wrong and she knew the whole time IF he actually isn't his. Problem with still supporting him and being his dad is SS wants nothing to do with DH. I think that's the worst part is the pain of him hating DH and possibly not even being his.
I made my DH get a Paternity test done on SS before we started dating. There was no way in hell I was about to risk the next 18years of our lives dealing with his crazy ex just to be told at 18 "just kidding, you're not his father" NOPE. I lent him the money of get it done and he paid me back. I googled Paternity tests online, DH sent off his tooth brush and SS's tooth brush and three weeks later a certified DNA test sealed came in the mail. It was the first thing DHs lawyer asked for when we later went looking for one and if was the first words out of the judges mouth when they went to court. Best moment ever was in the beginning BM used to toy with DH saying SS wasn't his until one day he said he'd gotten the test done, she flipped her shit demanding to know how he could have ever doubted her and why he didn't tell her he was getting it done in the first place.
You can Pick up a DIY kit at
You can Pick up a DIY kit at walmart....
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Identigene-DNA-Paternity-Test-Collection-Kit/...
It's especially helpful if you don't want BM to know the child was tested.
SS hasn't been here for 3
SS hasn't been here for 3 months so that's hard to do.
Court is not going to order a
Court is not going to order a paternity test for a nine year old with or without a lawyer. Your H is the legal father and that is not going to change even if a DIY paternity test proves he is not the biological father.
The question is what do you think will happen after the DIY paternity test? The support order will stay in place no matter what a DIY paternity test shows.
BM has already stopped
BM has already stopped visitation
Actually it will stop
Actually it will stop everything including CS. Just went through it with a friend. Thanks though.
11
11
http://familylaw.mwortmanlaw.
http://familylaw.mwortmanlaw.com/2016/05/articles/financial-issues/2-yea...
You may find this interesting.
Thank you. I will look at it
Thank you. I will look at it now.
No need for a CO to do a DNA
No need for a CO to do a DNA test. There are many ways to do it privately. If it shows that DH is not the father... then you can engage an attorney to go forward officially to deal with the legalities, have an official DNA test completed and see how to move forward with getting DH off of the hook for this kid if that is what he chooses to do.
I am not sure what the likely outcome will be or if it is even possible for him to have his paternity voided.
Problem is SS hasn't been for
Problem is SS hasn't been for visitation for 3 months now. DH was told by his ex she cheated the entire marriage. But was she saying that to hit a nerve or was she being honest. Can't help him having doubts after that.
Oh, I would definately have
Oh, I would definately have doubts and I would get the kid tested in the situation you describe. If it turned out the kid was not mine... I would make the destruction of that lying extorting skank whore my greatest and most enjoyable hobby for the rest of my life.
I would sue her for every penny I had ever spent on her and the kid with penalties and interest, I would press any criminal fraud or related charges I could get traction with, and I would own her idiot ass including letting anyone who had any history with her at all know her entire characterless adulterous history. Her friends, her family, her church, her work, etc, etc, etc......
Depending on the relationship I would consider supporting the kid and once he was an adult I would engage with him as much as his behavior would justify including remaining his dad, helping him with school, etc, etc, etc......
I know, petty and vindictive but that kind of crap I cannot forgive nor can I let it go without bringing as much consequence as I can possibly bring down on a toxic POS like that BM.
The one thing my XW did right was not getting pregnant while we were married and attempting to stick me with the spawn of her polluted adulterous womb. As infrequently as we were intimate the odds of it being mine would have been zero and none compared to the odds of it being the product of her many adulterous flings.
Phew. I feel better now. I truly hope that this child is your DHs. That would be far better than your DH having to live with the knowledge that the BM stuck him with someone elses kid without his knowledge.
As you can probably tell .... I have some history with an adulterous XW. My XW married me solely for the support I provided and the money she thought my family had. She was cheating from the very beginning and if I had not been so niave it probably would have been obvious. In my world at that time marriage was a lifetime commitment between loving and caring equity life partners. It was never that for her with me or either of her two subsequent husbands/out of wedlock baby daddies. She was pregnant with her first pregnancy while we were still married and was pregnant when she moved out. She lost that one a couple of months later. She was pregnant again before out divorce was final and had two oowl spawn with her geriatric Fortune 500 sugar/baby daddy before he finally would marry her. He divorced her when she became pregnant with the spawn of her adultering POS boy friend and had that kid oowl too. Her 2nd husband left in the middle both her cheating pregnancy and the middle of a federal embezzlement investigation against her entire family due to my XMILs ripping off her long term employer for $Millions. 9 years after my divorce the family ultimately settled for several $Million of which my XW was nailed for about $2Mil. As they were walking out of the civil court the Federal Marshals arrested my XMIL. My XMIL pled guilty to embezzlement charges and spent several years in federal prison to keep the Feds from nailing my XFIL and two of their three kids including my XW.
Sperm donor #2 eventually married her.
I feel for your DH having to deal with this. Not knowing if his son is actually his must be torture. This is very different than accepting a SKid as your own or adopting. That is an informed and conscious decision to make but being stuck with a kid that is not yours that was presented as yours would be gut wrenching to deal with. At least it would for me.
Wow sounds like you've been
Wow sounds like you've been through the ringer. We will sue her only because it's wrong and she knew the whole time IF he actually isn't his. Problem with still supporting him and being his dad is SS wants nothing to do with DH. I think that's the worst part is the pain of him hating DH and possibly not even being his.
Yep, it was pretty tough.
Yep, it was pretty tough. But... my divorce was 26+ years ago and my life has been pretty amazing since then.
I still detest the woman but fortunately have had no contact with her in more than 22 years.
My stunning bride of 22+ years and the son she gave me are my greatest joy.
Thank you for the advice. I
Thank you for the advice. I wonder if that would still be true if the BM just now divulged she was unfaithful
I made my DH get a Paternity
I made my DH get a Paternity test done on SS before we started dating. There was no way in hell I was about to risk the next 18years of our lives dealing with his crazy ex just to be told at 18 "just kidding, you're not his father" NOPE. I lent him the money of get it done and he paid me back. I googled Paternity tests online, DH sent off his tooth brush and SS's tooth brush and three weeks later a certified DNA test sealed came in the mail. It was the first thing DHs lawyer asked for when we later went looking for one and if was the first words out of the judges mouth when they went to court. Best moment ever was in the beginning BM used to toy with DH saying SS wasn't his until one day he said he'd gotten the test done, she flipped her shit demanding to know how he could have ever doubted her and why he didn't tell her he was getting it done in the first place.
Max, That was well played by
Max,
That was well played by you and DH both. Pull BM's teeth before day one.
Well played.