Paternity results

Forums:

We went ahead with a DNA test regardless of the negative feedback. We hoped for the best and prepared for the worst.

0% chance of paternity for my husband. So my oldest stepson is not biologically his. Other than the facts we have no idea about the future. Thoughts?

Maybe now your husband will

Maybe now your husband will stop seeing the kid, which is what you really want, right?

Well - isn't it? It seems like you don't like the kid, and you wanted to know if he was his son, against all advice. What happens now? Your DH already told you he wasn't going to stop seeing the kid, and you know he's on the hook for child support. So why did you bother to do it? HE didn't want to do it, per your last blog. What was the purpose?

What kind of bass ackward

What kind of bass ackward world do we live in that a woman can win a paycheck for 18 years because she successfully fooled a man that a child was his when it wasn't.

Holyyy man, a female could make a carreer out of a few acting classes and the ability to intercept a fat one from someone who isn't her husband/bf.

How is your relationship with SKID?

I did not see in previous posting how old this child is, and what your relationship with him is.

What will you do moving forward?

If the relationship is good, keeping contact would be positive.

Will your DH keep his name on the birth certificate? Will he pursue the actual father? What is the situation wrt child support?

I am of the opinion that DNA does not determine family, but Im thinking that the skid will want to know. Plus it helps with health questions.

Then there will be another can of worms to deal with and thats inheritance and future living situations.

I think if it is handled with empathy and decorum that it should be a good thing all around (xcept for BM who was cheating with randos)

My DH and I have 2 kids

My DH and I have 2 kids together. He 'has' two with his ex.now 1 with his ex. Our 2 children look A LOT like his younger one with his ex. Despite what another commentor thinks, I dont dislike the older one, there have just always been significant differences between the older and younger stepsons. I guess it all makes sense now. DH does not wish to change custody, I think he's 12 now or will be. We are both in absolute shock. DH knows who the father is. DH doesnt believe in further lying to SS and to be honest with him, as they are both in the same boat, having been the victim of the same womans lies. He even thinks SS might want a relationship ship with his bio dad.

Biodad is DH's stepbrother. Btw. BM is remarried, shotgun wedding a month before her 3rd child was born. Also, DH definitely wants to have a chat with BM and step brother...

Well that would've been some

Well that would've been some interesting Ancestry dna results later in life.

Also, what a h*

Too true Jcksjj!If it was me

Too true Jcksjj!
If it was me and my DH (and BTW I do despise my skid25 with good reasons) I would let my DH make the decision about a DNA test and support him with what choice he made and how to handle the results .
I would also know that it would not change his relationship with skid, it would just make him hate BM even more. I would leave it totally up to DH on if he wanted to tell skid or not, I would stay out of it.

if I was a man in this situation I would want to know.

It's disappointing that there is no punishment for BM for doing this, that part disgusts me.

This is a tough one. On the

This is a tough one. On the one hand he has raised this child as his own, on the other my assumption is that BM is extorting CS out of a man who did not spawn with her. She is a fraud and it would be karma if he could sue her for compensatory and punative damages as well as press criminal charges for extortion.

Sadly, this is not possible.

For sure, If I were your DH, I would got to court to do what I could to get out of CS while firming up visitation rights on the child I had raised as my own. Make sure to have a good lawyer.

Good luck.

Real father?

I would look into the laws of your state. Also, he needs to be told who his father is ,so he can get to know his family and perhaps get medical information. It's not something you can cover up, he would find out down the road most likely. Your kids need to know as well. If your husband wants to get the BC amended you both can look into that as well.

I look at things differently

I look at things differently than most when it comes to "blood" family. My mother was adopted as an infant. My stepdad adopted me when I was 7. I have very little biological family that I know. I will say that I am so glad that my family (all of those non-blood relatives of mine) have always loved me and never thought of me as less.

I think your DH is this kid's dad, he is the man that has always been there. Don't take that from either him or his son. I also know the importance of knowing your biological medical history- the whole reason I had a hysterectomy at 36. SS needs to get fact from his bio family but he doesn't need much more unless both parties want a relationship. The important thing for SS though will be still feeling loved and connected to his family that he was raised with.

The big difference between

The big difference between your example and the OP's DH's/SS's example is that your family absolutely chose you and volutarily made you their child.

The OP's DH was lied to and financially raped by a characterless BM who extorted countless $thousands from him over the years.

There is no easy answer for the OP's DH or his son. BM should be raked over the coals for her crap but ..... doing that while not destroying this kid is not something that is likely.

The OP's DH can now choose this child as his own. It would have gone a whole lot better if BM had not lied and stolen money from this man.

I am happy for you and your family. You all are exactly the example that should be lived in adoptive families.

To be honest, this really

To be honest, this really sucks for that 12 yo boy. That's a difficult enough age.. with divorced parents already to find out that the man you though was your father.. wasn't. I would expect that he will need a decent amount of counseling to deal with this because he should be told at his age. Now that goes to the 2nd part of this.. who really "is" the father. The stepbrother?

I would also have your husband go to a lawyer and see what the legal options/rammifications are to this. At this late stage, I am assuming that legally and financial responsibility will still have your husband as his "father". BUT.. if there is a chance that this might change.. a lawyer can give the best advice..

After he understands all the legal angles.. he will likely need to ask his stepbrother if he is willing to take a paternity test. maybe Stepbrother would WANT a relationship with the boy? even if he may/may not be able to be legally put on the birth cert as the father. I don't think you need to confront the EXW on this..maybe inform her of the results at some point.. but no need to ask her for her input.

Mom needs to tell her son the

Mom needs to tell her son the truth...NOW. Mom has to figure everything out.

Ladies and Gents, this happens more than we talk about here on ST.

This mom and others who do this are scum.

She should be ordered to pay back the man she would raping cs from. She knew what she was doing..they all do. They really know how to screw kids up dont they.

Mom should be in prison.

GoodLuck,

My brother in law was a victim of this. He was financially supporting a child for 13 years that he thought was his to only find out that it wasn't and guess what in NYC he's still on the hook for supporting this child because he's been doing so for all his life.

Now where is this childs biological father you may ask? God only knows but the courts don't want to hear it. My BIL has to pay because they don't want the tax payers responsible to care for this child. The sad part is she knew this ALL along and since my BIL makes great money I guess she figured why not. The system flawed and I agree that she should be penalized for this.

BIL needs to move to Texas,

BIL needs to move to Texas, go to work for a Texas company, and sue her ass. Texas courts do not take bullshit orders from other States all that seriously. He may not be able to travel back to NY .... ever, but... he may be able to get a counter order that relieves him from being raped further for CS and providing the felon BM with more of his money.

It is worth taking a shot at.

We used the much higher CS that Texas would invoke as a big stick to keep the SpermClan under control. We never changed venue to Texas but when they would get a letter from our Texas lawyer they jumped to in a hurry. They would twitch when his letter-head envelopes would show up in their mail box.

I feel for your BIL, what a travesty for he and his child.

He should engage a TX attorney to determine what his options may be.

Say Uncle

This is a new pile of turds.

The child will need a lot of love and counseling.

Perhaps sue the stepbrother and BM for fraud. Set a precedence. I know from experience that when child support orders are filed part of the process is paternity testing - if this became more of a public thing, people would be ore inclined to choose to go through this route.

My DH is Filipino and the ex is anglo, so the kids look a lot like them BOTH. But he is the youngest of 13...and there are a few brothers and nephews that might have dipped in there...

Here's the problem

At some point in his life he'll find out, and know others knew yet failed to tell him. It's bad all the way around. I believe in most states a guy has 2 years to establish paternity. He should have done that when he had doubts. Now the court see's it as he chose to be responsible since he didn't file within a certain amount of time. He may not ever be able to over turn it, but sounds like he'll always be in his life. I'm just saying the kid has the right to now know the truth for all the reasons we discussed. Now since you know for sure you have a obligation to tell him. Kind of like parents that adopt their kid. You can't keep that from them or the entire family. Actually sounds like quite a few people knew in the family, or suspected.

Update:

The step brother confessed everything, the filthy whore confessed it is step brothers, dna test for step brother is on it's way because stepbrother's family is in denial??! Wtf.

My DH, who is an actual man, broke the news to SS with all the love he has and assured him nothing will change. The school counselor has been notified so the SS's can both discuss it to a professional.

DH is going on stress leave until he figures out if he is going to quit working for his stepdad&mom's company, who also employ step brother. He also needs to seek professional counseling.

Filthy whore has a new husband, he supports her and sees it as just a "mistake". Ya, whoopsie, I fell on your brothers dick a bunch of times.

I'm disgusted by this filthy whore. I can't even type out woman because she is beneath that. We dont have paternity fraud laws up here in the great white socialist, fuck whoever you want and the system will rape the man for 18yrs, Canada.

How about civil court to nail

How about civil court to nail BM and StepBro for repayment of the fraudulently obtained CS?

I would be all over that option since criminal court is not an option.

Would that be an option in Canada?

No need to end the relationship with the kid or stop paying support. Particularly if DH can recover what he has already paid in Civil court.

How did DH know it was his

How did DH know it was his step brother right away? Did he know they were together? So all adults knew she had multiple partners and no one questioned paternity? I'm confused.

I would have him go to a lawyer. The real Dad should be paying going forward.
That kid is going to need counseling.

Perhaps her husband would

Perhaps her husband would like to support said child, since he married her and is so understanding of the "mistake" she made.