So on the weekend while we were at OSD's, little SGS oh so innocently brought to light exactly the rude behaviour and mistreatment of DH's sister and daughter towards me. Out of the mouthes of babes they say!

So, first of all, he was super clingy and seeking my attention the entire time I was there, which I have to say I love but surprises me since I know OSD works at alienating him from me, using him to hurt and humiliate me but not succeeding haha

Anyway, he had announced quite loudly and multiple times prior to lunch that he was sitting beside me - even saying that DH could sit across from me because he was sitting beside me LOL. So, after lunch there was a small celebration in honour of OSD's birthday. I'm also always included in that as my birthday is just a few days away from her - something MIL started while she was still with us and that FIL has kept the tradition going

Now, in the past, despite the fact that the birthday lunch or dinner was for both OSD and myself, DH's sister would never acknowledge me. She wouldn't even so much as say hello let alone purchase a gift for me haha! And, in all honesty I would be so happy if they would leave me out of it altogether. I'm not comfortable with being a part of it, especially considering DH's sister and daughter so despise me why would I want them to get anything at all for me.

However, in recent years, DH's sister has changed her stance somewhat and will get a card and a very small gift. A $30 gift card for example. And after I've opened it and profusely thank her for thinking of me, then OSD will open her gift which would be a $300 gift card from the same store, plus a really nice item purchased there that she would really like, plus a small addition that DH's sister just had to add etc.. etc..

I could care less about that - I expect nothing, especially from people that can't stand me. But the point they are trying to make is to show how little value placed on me, how meaningless anything for me from them is and of course to make me feel embarrassed, not part of the family, not important yada yada. I could care less about any gifts, but the massive playing up of what was purchased for a family member in comparison, in an obvious attempt to remind me I'm so not part of their family and so not of any importance, is what is pathetic.

Generally I just make a big deal about whatever was purchased for me - including the card from DH's sister that has never once made any reference to Sister-in-law (always some non-intimate card you would buy for a work acquaintance maybe) and exactly the same type of card from OSD, generally with just names signed to it and nothing else

It's not that I'm not appreciative or grateful for what they did do, it's the underlying feeling always that it's just another tool for them to try to use to made a sad point to me

Anyway, so OSGS hands me a card and says to open it. I do. It's from DH's sister, same as usual - although she actually spent $50.00 this time and made a really big deal of pointing that out to me too. I thank her as usual "wow, you do didn't need to do anything for me at all SIL, thank you so much, so thoughtful of you. I will use this for sure" yada yada...barely have the words out of my mouth and OSD has now started opening the massively big gift from DH's sister with lots of loud squealing and delight, and lots of discussion and laughter from the two of them, making a big fuss about the gift

Little SGS hands me the next card - from OSD & SSIL -and same process. Then OSD goes to open the gift from DH & I. As she does suddenly OSGS yells out - and in the most upset and clearly distressed voice "Why doesn't Grandma Disillusioned have any gifts?!"

That stopped the room dead. Then everyone including me started all explaining to him at the same time that of course I had gifts, just gift cards. Finally OSD drowned out everyone else and explained to him - in the most irritated, obviously ticked off tone too - that I had gifts, they were gift cards like he got once, and that I could then go buy myself whatever I wanted

That seemed to satisfy him, but, I think the reason OSD was so ticked off was that OSGS touched on something that OSD didn't want. The obvious and deliberate mistreatment of someone from two jealous insecure others. And I'm obviously not talking about gifts here, just the general exclusion, rude behaviour, can't even respond when I say hello and so on....OSD and DH's sister love to try to make me feel uncomfortable and not part of their family, not liked or wanted but, they don't want anyone to actually know that's what they're doing.

FIL, DH, and even SSIL are aware of this happening and do what they can to make things better, but mostly just try to pretend it's not that bad or not really happening. But clearly that undertone is there, and little SGS has picked up on it, and being the innocent child that he is, who does so far in life love his Grandma Disillusioned, he just spoke right out and left everyone feeling very uncomfortable with a question that brought to light that topic they all want to pretend isn't happening

For once, I didn't feel the slightest bit uncomfortable at all LOL!