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I think SD22 and DW are backsliding

lovenlife777's picture

Submitted by lovenlife777 on Fri, 11/04/2016 - 8:25pm

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Adult Stepchildren

I have posted a number of times about SD22 and my DW's relationship. SD and DW now spend the entire evening every evening cuddling on the coach and watch TV. I feel like I should just pack up and leave that the primary relationship here is the two of them. If I want to talk to DW in private in the evenings I now have to get SD22's permission.

lovenlife777's picture

Submitted by lovenlife777 on Fri, 11/04/2016 - 8:40pm

Wife says she does it because of SD's "anxiety issues" however when pushed she tells me that she does it because she enjoys SD's company and I do not know what it is like to grow up in a normally loving family because my family was and still is dysfunctional.

I have posted a couple times here about this issues SD works only 16hrs per week and takes only 2 classes per semester at community college. Personally I don;t think SD has anxiety issues, I think it is because wife and her are totally enmeshed and they both can not stand to be alone.

I guess reason I stay, and I am now waking up is gas lighting. I everytime I say something I am left wondering am I the crazy person.

surfchica's picture

Submitted by surfchica on Fri, 11/04/2016 - 8:56pm

That seems very unnatural. A mother cuddling on the couch with her 22 year old and preferring that to cuddling with her husband. Does the daughter have special needs or something? Even so, it sounds not only super co-dependent but kinda sick.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Fri, 11/04/2016 - 9:27pm

"I do not know what it is like to grow up in a normally loving family because my family was and still is dysfunctional.

This is just another type of dysfunction. It is NOT normal at all.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Fri, 11/04/2016 - 9:50pm

I love hanging our with my DD28. We go shopping. But when it comes to sitting on the couch together ... well the only time that happened was when her dirtbag stbx husband didn't even recognise her birthday and when he admitted he was cheating on her with a work colleague. A girl needs her mother when those things happen.

Your DW has no idea how a good marriage works. Husbands and wives snuggle. Not mothers and daughters or fathers and sons.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Fri, 11/04/2016 - 11:25pm

This is really messed up at this age, for certain. I would suggest counseling if you DW is not willing to reexamine her own behavior.