Well done and congratulations to you and your husband. No drama in your life, no manipulating SD. Hope it lasts forever.

My 29year old SD has a nice boyfriend too and as you said how did they finish up with nutjobs - I know the answer, they were manipulated. SD's wanted a man like daddy who would provide for them and do their bidding.

Like your SD she has her boyfriend ring daddy, I think that is her way of punishing daddy, 1. and, letting daddy know she is so distressed she cannot even speak to him. Problem with this is, the boyfriends step over the line, and their behaviour is enabling these women to continue with their selfish self centred lives.

Anyway, let's forget the drama, this is a great day for you. Fingers crossed she keeps you out of her life, and doesn't try to use the newborn as a weapon against daddy.

Congratulations! The best case scenario has just happened for you AND it came from her. I am also "estranged" from adult skids. No skin off my nose - in fact I would say my general well being has improved. Enjoy!

I agree. I too don't understand how they just "throw" relationships away based on their own selfishness. Stay strong and live your life!

Celebrate !!! Also, is it possible to get that in writing, please ?? Haha !!

If my sd21 did this to my DH, I would get it in writing and have it framed !! PLUS, everytime she asked for money after that, I would just send her a photo copy of her declaration !!! }:)

Ya, she will be playing the 'Grandchild card' next - and sending good 'ol BF over to deliver the message and show pictures. I agree with Stepaside - do not allow BF to be the messenger.

Enjoy it while you can. Stepson #4 was married to a jewel, term used loosely, of a wife......assistant minister, and wedding photographer. What a joke. We asked what the 2 boys would like for Christmas...She said her parents gave them money to buy stock.....we didn't fall for that and would send presents....We never got a thank you or response.I blame the stepson as much and predicted at some point stepson would wakeup and dump Mrs asst minister/photographer,meet some cute nurse....which is exactly what happened 19 years later. The ex never could manipulate us with the money issue, therefore we weren't in the stepsons' lives.....their loss, not ours. Blame was both mother's and father's. Total strangers to us now with the oldest a college freshman. People who use children as pawns are worthless.
I feel sorry for your husband knowing he has a daughter like that and that the grandkids will suffer. However, most likely the grandkids will turn out like the step daughter, so you don't need that drama in your life.
Every holiday and your husband's birthday, especially father's day...always have plans or be out of town. That way your husband won't be disappointed when he doesn't get a phone call from that stupid daughter....I know from experience.

You are SO lucky! You aren't in her life anymore! You're free! Be happy and go have fun. It really ticks them off when you aren't sitting around bemoaning your not being in their life anymore. Being happy is the best revenge!

On some level, you can celebrate- but the real tragedy is the unborn grandchild. His daughter is already trying to manipulate and control her father- to do her bidding before this child is even born. She may keep her word for awhile- but I'm sure the day will come when they "need" something and daddy's phone number is the first she'll call.

I was not invited to my SD25's baby shower either because BM was "throwing" it for her and I am banned from all activities involving THE BM. The funny thing is, BM had to borrow money from her youngest dtr in college to pay for the party!! What a joke!! My BF showed up and was the "life of the party"...>AT A BABY SHOWER??? It didn't turn out the way they hyped it up to be and I didn't buy her an official baby shower gift either. In fact, I tried to pretend I didn't care that I wasn't invited. I was hurt- but at the same time, I didn't want to go where I wasn't wanted. If SD25 wanted me there, she would have told her mother- the reality is, they SKIDS are always going to be PRO-Mom and ANTI-SM.

BBGF

My SD got her boyfriend on the phone to daddy countless times, and used him as the go between. It worked on two levels for her, she got to punish daddy by witholding her lovely voice from him and showing him she was not talking to him until he towed the party line, and it also showed daddy she had been so traumatised by his refusal to do her bidding that she was unable to muster the strenth to make a phone call.....evil cow.

Anyway, she has not been here since August, and we have not seen the baby other than one visit to the hospital but we did get the pictures in the letterbox (hand delivered by boyfriend) 3 months later, and now she rings daddy weekly/fortnightly to update him on the babies progress, he says. I say to rub his nose in it and let him know what he is missing out on.

Boyfriend has told DH she is never going to change and if he wants to see his grandaughter he will need to leave me. Noice, real noice

Why is this even a consideration that her dad and family are even going to go to an event that her bm will be at?? I don;t get this? :? A baby shower is for women not men and then dad can get her a little gift if he wants but to be expected to go to a baby shower?? :? SOOO confused on that one??

I agree your dh has NO business going and it was all a ploy to be mean to you and nothing more. Your dh needs to make her clear on that fact that she can not treat people like that and there are consequences and that is that she might not get her dad in her life for treating him and his wife like crap.

My SS played the same BS. He used his wife and his daughter to throw his little tantrums becasue he wasn't getting what he wanted from his daddy. Evil little brat! I was so fed up with the lies and the mind games he played, daddy just kept forgiving until I stopped playing the game and then daddy became th target. This little SH** thought "since he was an adult" he had the right to demand whatever he wanted and e were just supposed to accept his freakin lack of respect and general aggressive nature- WRONG.

All came about over grand daughter's first b.day party that his wife was planning and had asked me initially to help with. This meant me taking off work and driving nearly an hour one way but I thought I could do that and thought it might be a good way to connect, ha! Just as I got on top reply to the email, here is another email sitting in my inbox saying they decided to move the b.day party sop that bio mom could attend. OOPS! I still don't know if tha was an intentional move on their part but SS is VERY aware of the hard feelings bio mom has for us and vise versa.....why would an rational thinking individual do something like this? That's how the mess startd and in the end, after telling us what terrible parents we were and how he couldn't understand how his dad stayed with me and why he divorced his mother, he then proceeded to tell us that we would never see the grandchild, that she would be raised knowing only one set of grandparents and told us to never contact him again.

This was over a year ago. I have had no contact since. I did go to couseling. Counselor felt SS was dealing with the abandonment of his mother, she left when he was 2, I raised him. She told me to ahve nothing more to do with SS and his brother, that I was the target of their anger and will remain that until they come to terms with their motehr leaving them which could be never. She told me that husband should try to make contact but not get caught back up in his drama. Husband has made contact thru email and there sno reply.

As far as I am concerned, these boys are terribly terribly selfish, very much stuck emotionally and have not been accepting of the truth of what their mother did and how she treated them and us. I drew my boundary lines and I will never go back.

I am glad your husband stood his ground and I hop he remains solid in his support for you. Thes child tantrums from grown children are rediculous!

STEPASIDE--- This type of interaction seems to go on between my adult steps also. I call it musical chairs. For years DH, EX AND sd's would all badmouth each other. To hear the coversations would lead you to believe that which ever one they were mad at and talking about was the lowest piece of crap on earth.

I have become the odd man out since backing out of the situation years ago. DH, ex and adult SD's get together about once a yr. on xmas. [mom is single and many of them live under the same roof] I always find myself amazed that the mom who Iwas told allowed the girls to be raped by her brothers and others living at the house with them has become their best friend. I have never had reason to feel that these get to gethers were extended to me as an invite. I have no desire to join them so I spend that time with my own family. It is amazing how being bio mom makes abandonment, rape and neglect acceptable.

STEPASIDE...YES IT IS SO OBVIOUS TO OTHERS. DH NOW TELLS ME THEY ALL HAVE CHANGED. EX MAY NOT HAVE BEEN A GOOD MOTHER BUT SHE IS A GOOD GRANDMOTHER. SD'S HAVE CHANGED BECAUSE THEY HAVE MATURED IN THEIR MIDDLE AGE. DO NOT KNOW IF IT IS REALLY A CHANGE OR JUST THE FACT THAT INSTEAD OF LIVING IN THE SAME COUNTY WE HAVE MOVED OUT OF STATE. ANYONE CAN BE NICE FOR A DAY. THE INFORMATION OF WHO JUST DID WHAT CEASED WHEN DISTANCE WAS PUT BETWEEN THE THEM AND US.

I wonder if anyone on this site has called out their Skids for transferring their anger for the divorce to SM? I have been disengaged from SD for almost a year and it has been heaven. But when she was yelling at me last December for things I did not do I wish I had told her to go blame her parents, that I didn't have anything to do with their divorce, and she was transferring all of the blame on me. When I first started going out with DH, his daughter really liked me and critisized her Mother for being "cold and too business-like". The instant we got married the hate and nastiness toward me began. And the really weird thing is that this past summer when I saw the ex at a function she was downright nasty to me and 'sweetsie' to DH. This woman has not said three words to me in all the years DH and I have been married. I have never put her down to anyone. She was the one who ended the marriage before I ever met DH. So I don't get it.

...until she needs a sitter. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't want to be a killjoy. Here's hoping for forever!