He lost his ring
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So this morning on the phone husband casually tells me he lost his wedding ring, likely at a gas station. Nothing I am sorry, I will replace it. I kind of said well it really doesn't matter does it? We then just moved on to another topic. I know, what will it take for me to get the message.
I think honestly he has replaced me with his daughter. They burn up the wires......20 to 30 texts a day and hour long phone calls twice a day sometimes. Ok. I did look at the cell record. But it fits. He is not an intimate person. He likes phone calls. He has his true love back in his life
Need a little more info. How
Need a little more info. How long have you been married? How old is his daughter? Are you familiar with the term mini-wife?
What does him losing his
What does him losing his wedding ring at a gas station have to do with his daughter? :?
NIM - you already split from
NIM - you already split from him, why does it matter what he did with his wedding ring?
I just don't get it, why people put so much faith in a stupid ring....
We are still together albeit
We are still together albeit separate houses. I think we are two people just going ahead with what has been comfortable almost 10 years. The phone calls and texting are a lot less and I do attribute that to his growing intimacy with his adult daughter. She clearly has become his confidant. As I had even shared he talks all about me to her.
This past weekend we visited his parents. He found a slight by me against his mother......crazy......he clearly is now super sensitive and takes their side against me.
So 99 percent of readers now are scratching their heads. Why do this? I don't know. All of my relationship with me, esp my own father were distant. And crazily that is what I seek.....closeness.
So I am stuck in limbo. In my own head. I have a great job, live in a beautiful home, kids, etc. I get no financial support from my husband. So why stay in this less than satisfying marriage without an end point....i.e. Sharing a home together.
NIM, I hate the way you've
NIM, I hate the way you've started putting yourself down in your posts.
Don't you think it's time you started working with a therapist? You need support, understanding, and a boost of self worth so that you can get to a place where you're ready to let go of this whole unhealthy mess.
Your H is crazy as a March hare, controlling, alcoholic, and enmeshed with his daughters. He is wearing you down bit by bit. Nothing in your marriage is normal.
Please take care of yourself.
I might say GOOD based on
I might say GOOD based on your stories.
texting his daughter like two high school girls do, it NOT normal.
Remember kids naturally pull away from their parents as they get older, they come back, but pull away, come back pull away. They do not become hyper connected like you described.
Unless---
I will leave it at that.
"so sorry and I know you are hurt beyond words"
I am crying as I read these
I am crying as I read these comments because I know this marriage is so dead end.
I feel sad because I never thought I would end up at this place. Alone. Bad choices by me. Why is it that I had a very depressed disconnected father and here I go on to marry my first husband who was never home and then I divorce him to marry a guy I don't even live with!! I never believed him when he would begrudgingly tell me we were selling our houses when all kids done with high school. We never talked about a dream home, where we would live and then finally when my daughter graduated high school, he won't comment on any of this. And for years, he chastised me when I would say we live in separate houses.....oh no....he would insist to call them our houses.
I do wish this would end. I had my chance on our anniversary when he left. I got scared and shamed him about it so he came back.
NIM - handing you some
NIM - handing you some tissues, now wipe your tears Hon, he's just not worth it... or turn your tears into happy ones cause you are getting rid of this man.
sending you strength and hugs, you are strong woman just start believing in yourself again.
A ring is NOT a chastity
A ring is NOT a chastity belt. My DH cheated with a ho who knew I was his wife. Ribg and all.
If the 2 of you are separated you need to either accept it or tell him your feelings. I am living separately. He has not strayed since. We are in counseling, but it is not an easy path.
We have 17 years as a couple with almost 15 of those years married. He is the one with the guilt. Its ugly and compounded due to the fact that we have children.