Half serious...can I please be declared insane so the skids can't visit?

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So there's unfit parents...but what if the spouse is 'unfit' to be around skids.
(We really know the skids and BM are the things that make us crazy.)

But really. If my house etc weren't a good environment for the skids, what would happen? DH would actually have to figure it out on his own.

That's the desperation talking but there have to be instances where this has happened.

Disengagement. That's where

Disengagement. That's where DH has to figure it out on his own.

He would make other

He would make other arrangements at his parents, his siblings or a hotel OR forgo his visitation all together. OR leave his marriage.

OR you could go to your family, friends or to a hotel during visitation or leave your marriage.

Are you stressed out? Is your

Are you stressed out? Is your husband expecting you to replace their mom inside your home and take over as a parent?

Yes, DH has said he wants me to love his kids, be a great stepmom and be the mom/female figure that BM isn't.
Truth be told, that was my plan when I married him but he's making me nuts not working, not contributing, not participating in this marriage...2 arrests in 3 years, a DUI, 2 suspended driver's licenses in 3 years.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ADD KIDS ON TOP OF THAT! and pretend it's all fine.
I bought my home outright 12 years ago and he assumes that 9 months of marriage makes it his.
Half the time I have to prepare food for the skids, arrange activities, correct them, praise them. ALL of the time I have to drive them all around. And at the end of the visit, I get stressed out DH, attitude and a messy house. FUN!

He blames me for all of this.

Are you a legal adult? You

Are you a legal adult?

You have to do exactly nothing. Well, and refrain from breaking the laws of your country.

I think you know what you need to do. You sound successful, your DH sounds like a loser, and you seem to be trying to drag him out of the mud. But he likes the mud, so you're not going to get anything but dirty and frustrated until you move on to greener pastures.

I'm lost Based on what you

I'm lost :?

Based on what you just posted, BM should do everything in her power to have your husband declared unfit.

Why are you trying to get rid of the kids, but keep the useless man????? Remove the kids from the picture and you're still stuck with a worthless man.

No job, no contribution, two

:sick: :sick: :sick:

No job, no contribution, two arrest, two suspended licenses, and a DUI conviction? :? :? :?

And why exactly do you tolerate this waste of skin POS of a DH in your life?

Grow a set of lady balls and boot his useless ass and he can take his stressful spawn with him.

Take care of you.

Your DH is a dirtbag, and you

Your DH is a dirtbag, and you are in an abusive marriage.

Nothing about what you've written is normal, or healthy. So talk to a divorce attorney, boot the loser, and get happy.

I agree, it is time to move

I agree, it is time to move on kind lady; do not stay in this situation. If he is claiming he owns your house, get him out immediately and make him prove it!

At the most he will get HALF the appreciation of the home accrued only for the 9 months living there...that is all. Still, I would get him out immediately, so that another day does not pass that he could claim anything against your property--this is rightfully your own.

Next time, get a prenup...They work!

Hon - not your kids and not

Hon - not your kids and not your ex, thus not your problem.... disengage.

If you have to change the locks on the entrance doors, DH can stay on the floor with his parents till he's clean and not drinking anymore, maybe he can be a father then..... and no skids not welcome at your house...

BM and DH have to deal with this all on their own... nothing to do with you....

set a time line for yourself and talk to DH, If he's not in a program, not a half ass one, a proper one by XX date then it's over, and it must be a 90 day one... not a 7 day one... give DH a dead line and take it step by step.

I thought your husband moved

I thought your husband moved out?

maybe it was just for one

maybe it was just for one night when DH was upset, maybe he came back the next day

it's hard to kick some one out if you love them, and she does love him, but he's killing it slowly

((HUGS))) Poor kids, this is

((HUGS)))

Poor kids, this is not their fault or doing.

Hon, let him go. Why are you

Hon, let him go. Why are you keeping him around. And please don't feed me any "God hates divorce" or "I took vows" kind of stuff. When I ask my pastor what to do when my husband was abusing me and I was trying to avoid divorce, she said "God doesn't hate divorce. God hates abuse. LEAVE."