What about carpooling with other team members? Are they old enough to take an uber?

Are you in a state that had free online state sponsored homeschooling? I would not deal with all that waking up lazy assed folks and stressing myself out over kids that aren't mine.

You are definitely being taken advantage of. There's NO WAY all of that running around and nonsense should be on you. You did not create these kids. What on earth would your DH do if you weren't in the picture? He have to figure it out!

First off, I would make the kids wake themselves up. They're old enough to set alarms and get up on their own. No way should you be waking teens every morning like 5 year olds. I'd tell them if they don't get themselves up on time, they miss whatever activity they were supposed to go to.

But that aside, you shouldn't be doing any of this. I say you have 3 options, and you need to lay them out for DH and insist he choose one.

1) He finds a new job that keeps him in town, as you are not the taxi, the maid or the mom. This job he has out of town does not work for his family and he would not have been able to take it if he was single, so he needs to figure something else out. Period.

2) BM steps up and carts around her own kids. Just because they don't/can't live with her, doesn't mean she can't get them to or from their activities. THEY ARE HER CHILDREN!

3) DH hires and pays for someone to cart the kids around to these things.

The last alternative would be for you to leave this entire sh-t show of nonsense, but I assume you don't want to do that. But the bottom line is that you should not be responsible for all of this, as you are not the mom, and being the wife of the dad does not obligate you to be the taxi service. Stop doing all of this immediately. They can quit their sports or figure out something else, but you need to be done. And next time your DH asks what you have to complain about, give him an earful.

Some ideas

SS is 17. Get him an old fashioned alarm clock. Show him how to set it. He can set it (and his phone, and his tablet) and get himself up. If he's not ready on time he goes in late when you drive SD in.

When you're waiting in the parking lot for pickups try talking to other parents and see if you can do a carpool. Check uber prices and let DH know how much it's going to cost. Uber may not be practical for pickups, but it could work for getting them there.

When school starts don't worry about their breakfast or lunch. They eat or they don't. Missing a meal or two should wake them up. And if they chose not to eat that's what they chose. Or Dad can give them money to buy breakfast and lunch at school.

Post laundry instructions above the washer and dryer. They either do their own laundry or wait for Disney Dad to do it.

Stop taking them through the drive through. If you want to cook cook. But, if you don't they can fix themselves something. If they don't clean up after themselves leave it. Disney Dad can do it when he gets home.

You have valid concerns. What about his mother? Can she take her grandkids? I'm really sorry you feel like this. I have 3 skids and work from home 3 days and understand your comments about having to be on conference calls. My hubby takes our child to his mom's so he can fix the fence on his day off but I have her with me on a work from home day and many conference calls. Men have nothing boxes, remember? They have one thing in each box in their brain. Woman put many things in the same box which is why we stress out more.

I think hubby should take a week off and do this running around for his own kids and then tell his boss he needs to go back to a position where he will be home for his kids. They come to see him, not you.

Good luck. Stay strong.

You wouldn't even be being a bitch if you just said NO to all the back and forth! You are already going above and beyond having to do anything at ALL for these almost-adult skids! How in the hell is the 17 y.o. ever going to launch if he can't even get a license or cook food??

I don't think you're being bitchy at all. These are his kids, and he should be the one dealing with the scheduling and driving, etc. Like others have mentioned, what if you were not around or didn't work from home, what would he do then?

Both of those kids are plenty old enough to wake themselves daily, that's not your job.

I'd be telling DH to figure this out himself, how dare he work out of town when he has kids to take care of.

Hell - I made my own kids work carpooling out w/teammates, etc. I did agree to pitch in, as I thought that was fair.

Tell Dad that he can pay for someone to drive them to these activities otherwise, and if they rack up tardies/absences by not getting up on time? You will direct the truant officer to him.

As far as im concerned, you are in charge so your way goes. Set your boundaries. Just because DH cooks, cleans, drives them all over the place and wipes their a$$ doesn't mean you have to. Tell DH what you are willing to do and how you are willing to help and let him figure out the rest. The kids are both old enough to wake themselves up, fix themselves something to eat and get rides to their extra curriculars. My son is only 15 and he's been doing all these things for himself since he was 12 years old. Well the fixing himself food and getting rides. He's been waking himself up since he was 10 when I got him an alarm clock. Maybe you could be the catalyst for change here and be the one who gets these worthless kids to get a clue and start doing for themselves instead of being such overly dependent, needy, ungrateful, entitled kids.

All teens should be doing chores PERIOD! I started my kid and stepkids with chores while they were in elementary school. Start them young so they are well trained and accustomed by the time they are teens. If they don't want to eat what you cook then they can starve or cook themselves. I'm not a short order cook so whatever I make is what they have to eat.

I feel for you and am in the same shoes! I'm pulling my hair out and arguing with DH now and am extremely fed up. He plays Disney Dad too trying to make up for whatever past mistakes he feels he's made. We have two children together who have rules and structure and then there's his two children who do not. It's extremely frustrating and will be the reason we end up divorced someday no doubt. SD refuses to get her license despite having enough credit hours. She doesn't play sports and just lays around all day on her cell phone. She sleeps in late into the day, has zero responsibilities yet consistently expects free rides all over. She doesn't want to ask friends because they charge her gas money. I even had a summer job for her making $14 per hour and she refused because again, she wants zero responsibility. Her BM moved 30 minutes away one way and will not take her to visit her friends so lucky for me every weekend she comes over she expects me to drive her everywhere. SS lives with us and has several emotional and behavioral issues. He's lived with us for 5 years and his BM just dumped him with us. She rarely follows through with anything and has no part of his education, medical, etc. Just the bare minimum. Somehow I am fought tooth and nail by DH to establish any actual RULES or DISCIPLINE into their lives. I've been around these kids now for 11 years. I'm tired of always being the bad guy. What the hell is wrong with parents? Grow some balls. You shouldn't judge your success as a parent by how well liked you are by the kids. In fact, it's usually the opposite. I'm so frustrated and really getting close to ending it all.

AND more on TOP of a full time JOB! Your hubby needs to step it up ASAP before you go postal! I would have already exploded! You are definetly being taken advantage of and need to put a stop to it ASAP before it drives you insane! Those skids need to be held responsible for more....I mean geez, in ONE year the SS17 will be an ADULT! and he can't even wake himself up? Your hubby babying them like that is just doing more harm than good and he needs to put that through his head, otherwise, they will be around for years to come!!!! Yes, i said it! I know exactly what your thinking NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL, I'm counting down the next 3 years, which is when my skids will be kicked to the curb to be adults! 

You need to have a serious talk with your hubby, if he can't change your life will stay exactly they way you described! 

Good luck! 

OMG no way in hell i would do that!!!! why did daddy take the job knowing he has kids to drive around? what would he do if he did not have you? tell him to hire someone!!!!

I feel for you. Your situation and mine have some unfortunate similarities.  Just remember that you are teaching them how to treat you. They are at an age where they need to do more for themselves. If they don't learn now, they will be calling dear old daddy CONSTANTLY as adults.  Never forget that they are in YOUR home. You are in charge. Do your best to set your own boundaries and if they dont like it, then they can go live with their mom when your husband is out of town.

Cancel their activities for the two weeks DH is gone. That schedule is ridiculous. Stay disengaged.

If they go to the same place, drop them both off at once and then pick them both up at once. I have 3 teens all belong to some activity. I don't play this game. They will wait/watch their siblings until their practices start then i pick all up at once. your other option might be to have your dh start pushing his kids to get their drivers permits and licenses. 

I forgot to add this. these kids are old enough to set alarms. make sure each has an alarm clock. if they don't get up, they can be the ones to call the school and explain.

Wow! This is rough. Personally I think they are old enough to get their own stuff taken care of. SD is 17 and can't get up on her own? Thats a huge red flag. She aint never moving out of her Disney fairy-tail. Alarm, chef, servant, maid, drive she has it all no need to ever leave. 

I work from home too and one day with the SD11 during summer and I couldn't deal. I'm bored, blah blah blah, my 8 hour days was really only 6 tending to her needs. I couldn't image 24/7 with them. Hugs.

I would sit down with DH and set some boundries. They kids are old enough to have jobs they are old enough to wake their own butts up, make their own meals, clean, etc and get to practice, school, work on time by themselves.  Best of luck! 

I would resent your husband and stepkids. Honestly if you decided you want a divorce I wouldn’t blame you because you’re being taken advantage of and being used as a STEPMOM MARTYR!!! You have to endure the suffering not even the woman who pushed them out is willing to do. Refuse to be Cinderella.

I would believe I failed as a parent if my kids grew up to be like them.