I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm not sure I can offer much comfort except to tell you that it's not you it's them.

I am a very kind person and yet I've had problems with 2 sets of inlaws now. I took care of my first husband for 19 years (he had mental issues). My inlaws were nasty. They still use me when they need help with him, but they have never cared about me at all, and I am the mother of the only grand daughter in their family. I have given and given and received nothing in return.

My new inlaws pretended to LOVE me. They did this to insert themselves into my marriage and try to take over. My MIL started being at the house all the time, buying my DH socks and underwear. She'd come and cook dinner in my house, invite the neighbors, and feed everyone before I got home from work (I get home at 6). When I started to push back, DH supported me completely, because it turns out his parents basically broke up his first marriage. So at least I know, it's not about me.

When my dad died last year, it was very clear that they didn't give a bleep about me or my mom or my daughter. In fact, two months after his death, my MIL put up a xmas tree with pictures of all the kids except for my BD, who had just lost her grandfather!

I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, it does.

But this is not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them.

My ex husband got very ill, and I was at the ICU taking care of him for months. In fact he broke the record of the longest ICU stay in that hospital... That was the right thing to do.

Your inlaws do not know what's right from what's wrong, and that has nothing to do with what anyone has said about you. Even when a neighbor is sick, peoplr help. For pete's sake, it's the right thing to do.

I'm very sorry you are having health issues. Put these jerks out of your mind and focus on healing and focus on what you want for yourself.

My thoughts are with you.

First of all, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and wish all the best. I hope you have good friends and resources to support you.

As hard as it is, I would *try* not to take it personally. That's good advice, but it doesn't lessen the sting of having who you thought was a close family member basically say "they don't care" through their lack of action or words. I'm sure it hurts.

I lost my Dad very unexpectedly three weeks ago. Healthy and 68, he just dropped dead. One couple I have been very close friends with for 9 years has said absolutely NOTHING to me. No "so sorry". No card. Didn't come to the viewing. Nothing.

People boggle the mind.