priorities
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for years my closet clothes pole has been bent and allows clothing to hang to the floor. my nice wool clothes are now mis sharpened from hanging at the wrong angle. dh blackmailed me saying hed fix the closet when i cleaned the house to his satisfaction.
now adult sd has moved into a new house and dh is crazy making her things. he bought wood and varnish and went into the work shed in ninety degree weather to make her a television stand.
pathetic. and this is the sd who forgot birthdays and fathers day when she lived with bm. bm kicked her out when she was eighteen. when he medntioned it hurt him when he did not get a card for these days she said thats too bad for him.
Wow!!! Clean the house to
Wow!!!
Clean the house to his liking kinda upset me..... You don't have a family member or friend who could help you get the things you want/need done??? I have been there done that with mine;he got embarresed. I told him sorry. I knew his darling daughter needed things done and didn't know if he'd have time to do the things I needed done. He has been very "on top" of things ever since. It may work for you.
Instead of allowing your to
Instead of allowing your to be "blackmailed", why didn't you just fix it yourself?
I agree with the other
I agree with the other posters. Fix the closet rod yourself. It's really easy. Then brag to everyone in front of DH that you did it because he was too busy with SD's priorities. I've noticed if I am as demanding as SD DH seems to do more stuff for me. Being nice all of the time just doesn't work.
If you both work you both should be cleaning the house. Point him to the cleaning supplies and tell him to demonstrate to you how he wants it done. Then sit down with a piece of paper and split up the chores.
The bigger problem here is
The bigger problem here is not your SD, it is your inability to stand up to your DH.
By the way some men really enjoy the feeling of two women fighting over him and will deliberately treat their daughter as if she is the wife and the wife as if she is the daughter.
Learn the game and play it better than him.
I'm convinced. Men withhold
I'm convinced. Men withhold projects like women withhold sex. Bastards.
Haha! And you are made to
Haha! And you are made to feel like a nag when you remind him. My DH put off fixing a door for six months! Nowadays I don't even inform him when anything needs fixing. I do it myself or call a handyman. One day my DH came home to a man walking out of our bedroom. It was a handyman fixing the lights. He was pissed off but I just casually and cheerfully informed him that the guy was there to fix a few broken things. He was waiting for me to ask him what he was pissed off about but I refused. Refused.
Tell him to move in with his
Tell him to move in with his daughter, then fix the closet yourself. After he moves out, you will have much more closet space. Bonus!
My DH is one of those that
My DH is one of those that will take on 10 projects at a time and get none of them done. Our shower needed re-tiling, he wanted to save the cost of hiring a contractor so took it on himself. After 3 months of little being done and us having to share the boys shower I gave him a deadline. I said, (in the sweetest way possible) "Honey poo, I know you work so hard and are so busy. How bout I hire someone to finish the shower for us." dh "No, I want to do it." me "but sweetie, I know you really don't have the time since your so busy doing so many important projects." dh "I'll do it." me "When will it be done?" dh "as soon as I can get to it." me "Ok sweetums, tell you what, I'll give you "x" amt of time to finish in and then I'm going to hire a handyman." DH got a fire under his butt and finished it before the deadline.
If you're not capable of fixing it then hire (a really good looking) handyman to do it for you. Also if you can't clean the house to HIS specifications (what an ass) then I'd hire in help once a week.
Yes your DH has his priorities mixed up. What a nard. Just hire out what needs to be done since he's so busy at his dd's house.
i have to thank you all for
i have to thank you all for the comments but I have my ducks in a row now. leaving now is not an option. a wise commander never attacks on a whim but waits for the perfect time that will assure him total annihilation of the enemy. i have priorities of my own and surely karma is the best outcome. i am already on to who he is an how he acts, and even why he is the way he is. inside he is a dirt poor schoolboy and that is why he feels so inferior to everyone. that is why he needs to look down on others. its this twisted inverse way of dealing with things. most of the time i just laugh while he ineffectively orders me around. i separated bank accounts years ago so he has no idea how much i spend on myself.
in the end, he will end up with skids so enmeshed with a parent, and so focused on themselves that they will be unable to sustain a healthy relationship with anyone. its enough for me to know that because he is so obsessively in love with his children that their unhappiness would cut through to his core.