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Inconveniencing Us

Bitingmytongue's picture

Submitted by Bitingmytongue on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 7:09pm

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Parenting Issues

I'm so frustrated. My husband never says no to BM, even if it messes with our plans. If we have a concert to go to, I get excited that we don't have to configure a baby sitter, but then something comes up and BM decides she doesn't want her for the night, then our plans are either cancelled, or we're stuck with a babysitting bill when it should have been her turn to have her anyways.
Am I wrong to request that he not go out of his way to make her life easier?
He is avoiding conflict at all costs. If she spends the whole week at BM's and comes back having not showered once since she left our house, having not done homework for the entire week, and is in the same clothes three days in a row, I am upset, and I do expect him to say something to her.
He will not say anything to her because he wants to avoid conflict.
I firmly believe this is conflict that we will just have to deal with.
She's seven, we have eleven years til she is eighteen. Eleven years of pleasing this hardly-a-mother will get interesting.
Am I wrong?

Dannee's picture

Submitted by Dannee on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 9:07pm

He needs to man up..

My husband hated confrontation with the POS...

You should not have to go and do those plans without him..

He has to learn to stop kissing the bitches ass because guess what
she doesn't deserve it...what she does deserve is to be put in her place..

and guess what that is backseat to you and the plans you make...!!!!

3Libras06's picture

Submitted by 3Libras06 on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 10:07pm

My SO did that a lot when we first started dating.. And really, up until recently. I have had to get into a few arguments with him to get my point across: He got a divorce for a reason, that was because he was fed up with the confrontations, the affairs, lying, etc. It is NOT his job now to avoid confrontation, it's his job to be a DAD and make sure she's being a MOM. She needs to hold up her end of the bargain with this kid. She is an adult and needs to be held accountable for her actions.

Slowly but surely... He's agreeing more and more. I suppose before me he never had anyone who told him to get a backbone and take his life back. Be his support system and insist that he gain more respect from this bitch!

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 7:41am

I agree Absolutely go yourself take a male friend if possible... But I would not let him get away with that behavior. I let my DH know very clearly... there would be conflict unless he wanted to be alone - he could have conflict with her or with me but there were going to be times we did not agree...my personal suggestion was to not have it in your current relationship (we weren't married yet) but it was his choice. The next time he cancelled on me to make her happy i was really busy and disappeared for a week or so... never happened again.