I choose not to have a relationship with them anymore!
I just can't do it. I like the oldest SD but I cannot stand the younger two. I have tried for 7 years to accept them and treat them with respect. But I am done.
Every time the youngest SD22 wants to do anything with us or the family it has to be something involving money, We all went white water rafting and she and her boyfriend could not go the day we picked. It was convenient for everyone else including my DH's sister and kids who were visiting from out of state so we chose the date most convenient. The SD, who had just gone white water rafting the week before by the way, was mad that we had gone without her. Not only that but it costs 109 dollars per person. She never offered to pay for either her or her boyfriend. She just always assumes that we will pick up the tab.
The next night she decides we should all go to an expensive restaurant. My sister in law and I order a bottle of wine. Now my SD doesn't drink red wine. But she insists on having a glass. It sat in front of her all night and she never drank it. The other SD finally did because it was expensive wine and she could see it was being wasted. I swear she just did it to be an ass. Then she orders food which she barely touched. She didn't even take it home. My favorite part of the evening was when she was going on and on about her ridiculous plans for the future, my DH's nephew said to everyone at the table... "Well, when SD gets talking no one else can get a word in edgewise!" I laughed so hard I almost snorted red wine through my nose. By the way she says her plans don't include anything as trivial as making money and supporting herself.
We were having a family dinner with the visiting relatives and my SS25 decides he wants to play video games in the middle of the dinner party in the middle of the living room! This is a dinner party! So he walks up to me and my husband and asks him, not me!, of he can do that. Well, I am done with worrying about how he perceives me so I told him no. I reminded him there are 7 other people at this dinner who don't want to watch or listen to him play games. Hard to believe he is 25 and engaged.
After the relatives left I told my DH that I can't do this anymore. I need peace. I am depressed and angry all the time. At him, at them, and I need to go with him to the beach or someplace peaceful. So to show how completely clueless he is about this whole thing he suggests that we take my SD22 with us! Aaarrg!
By the way she says her plans
By the way she says her plans don't include anything as trivial as making money and supporting herself.
my SS25 decides he wants to play video games in the middle of the dinner party in the middle of the living room!
What is WRONG with them???
I would tell him I can't do this anymore either. These kids are ridiculous.
They have crappy parents.
They have crappy parents. Their BM once gave a talk at our church about SD22. She was constantly truant in high school. The police came to the door and said they would arrest BM if she didn't send her darling idiot to school. She told this story in church and laughed.
Your SD is spoiled and she
Your SD is spoiled and she probably doesn't even realize this. she has been doing probably her whole life and knows she will be given what she wants. The parents are part of the problem here and more than likely they see no issues with it either. You do because you were not ingrained to please this child since birth so you are an "outsider" per se looking in and you can see the problem and it very much is a problem and will continue to be a problem until your husband puts a stop- to it. And then watch the blame game start and fingers will be pointed at you even though you haven't said a word. Whenever there is a change the children cannot believe their parents would ever agree to anything so awful as making them grow up so it has to be the doing of the step. It is a no win situation.
She is spoiled but I see her
She is spoiled but I see her conniving and manipulating. I think she is well aware she is being spoiled. She and her father are major narcisissists. It is a no win situation!
You will NOT be happy married
You will NOT be happy married to a narcissist, if he is really such. There is no winning and no real love in that relationship!
Just another example of the
Just another example of the madness, my oldest SD who is a self avowed green person and hates cars, has had our van for 2 weeks because her bike is broken. Again! She could take a bus to work but is too lazy to get up earlier. So she has her sister call us and ask if she can have our Toyota because she has a hard time parking the van! So get your friggin bike fixed!
And before you asked my idiot DH said yes without hesitation. I told him to tell her to get her bike fixed or take the bus. I am done silently putting up with this madness.
"--- he suggests that we take
"--- he suggests that we take my SD22 with us! Aaarrg!" Did you look at him with total astonishment and tell him, "Very funny! Is this supposed to be the joke of the year?" It's time you give yourself some loving care and take a 'vacation' from these poor, socially inept souls who must have been raised in a barn. Possibly without clueless DH.
There is no reason to have a
There is no reason to have a "relationship" with someone who does not enhance your life. These are ADULTS not babies. You dh can see them on his own time.
I agree, there is no reason
I agree, there is no reason to keep the hurt and anger. Let them go, walk away mentally so you can have peace. In my case, I can't win by staying engaged to the drama, and i can't win by walking away. They try to get their Mom and Dad back together and manipulate him into situations to get what they want. I just have to remember he still chooses me over her any day. They will never see it his way, and that is fine. But it does get under your skin.. Best solution, drink more wine, Rum or whatever is on tap and flowing freely LOL