Should I give up trying?
My SO and I will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary soon. We have been together almost 6 years. He has a 15 (almost 16) year old daughter that we have every other weekend and an occasional week here and there. In the beginning things were pretty good between SD and me but have progressively gotten to where we are now which feels like neither of us are very comfortable with each other. There have been a few blow outs, name callings, and I been a constant target for her & her mother.
I have been working on building a better relationship with SD to what seems like no avail. She pretty much speaks to me only if I speak to her first or her dad prompts her to. She seems to have an issue with me each time she visits which she tells her dad about. (He does have my back when this happens.) She wants nothing to do with my family stating she "doesn't even know these people".
I've put aside my hurt feelings and overlooked her disrespectful behaviors to make things less awkward but I get the feeling she has no interest in a better relationship between us.
My question, is it time I give up trying and accept that this is the norm?
Just ignore her. In two more
Just ignore her. In two more years visitation is over and she doesnt' need to set foot in your home if she can't behave respectfully toward you.
Lucky you. I wish I had EOWE
Lucky you. I wish I had EOWE again. I have an SD19, or haven't you heard, lol? Ignore her ass because she has no manners, no respect and is self-absorbed. Tell DH he should be PROUD. That's what I told mine. }:) Then sit back and watch as life f*cks her firmly from the backside. Yeah, I'm a little pissed here lately.....Seriously, she won't change. You will. You'll learn not to care. I was you a year ago. I have given up trying, you would be better off doing that as well.
~ Moon
change your focus to keeping
change your focus to keeping things civil instead of having a great relationship. that's a fine goal.
Stop trying. Be yourself. Be
Stop trying. Be yourself. Be polite and cordial. There's no sense knocking yourself out if she's not willing to meet you halfway. I know it can be uncomfortable to live in the same house and not interact with each other but at this point you need to protect yourself, your sanity and your feelings.
My son and my DH are going through a similar situation right now (my son respects my DH but doesn't respect me). My DH told him off and said he won't sit back and watch his wife (me) be treated like that. The situation came to a head when my son stole $100 out of DH's wallet. Geez, bad move DS! All you had to do was ask if you needed money! Seriously bad move.
It's hard on me that they won't talk but until my DS apologizes to DH then I don't see things changing. I love my son but I've got my DH's back. My DS16 desperately needs consequences. I told my DH to sit back and not to try any longer. This is now my problem, not his. I see you the same way. Let her be your DH's problem.
The comment regarding your family about "not knowing these people" is laughable at best. Hey, then your family doesn't know her either then! Very immature statement that shows us her state of mind. It shows that she doesn't want to try. My SD made a similar comment about me and my sons. She sent her dad an email and said something to the effect "why are you supporting those STRANGERS". So, after 9 or so years, my sons and I are strangers? Geez. She's mad because she believes he should be supporting her. She said so in the email and she's shunned us for the past 2 years. Did I mention that she's in her 30's?
I tried with her too. A colossal waste of time! You don't want to know what I did for this adult princess brat; makes me look stupid and gullible (which I was). I wanted to help her and it blew up in my face. Big time.
The less you make yourself available, the less she will have to use in her bashing SM sessions with her mother.
I know it hurts at first. It will hurt less with time.
Amber