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Should I give up trying?

over step's picture

My SO and I will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary soon. We have been together almost 6 years. He has a 15 (almost 16) year old daughter that we have every other weekend and an occasional week here and there. In the beginning things were pretty good between SD and me but have progressively gotten to where we are now which feels like neither of us are very comfortable with each other. There have been a few blow outs, name callings, and I been a constant target for her & her mother.

I have been working on building a better relationship with SD to what seems like no avail. She pretty much speaks to me only if I speak to her first or her dad prompts her to. She seems to have an issue with me each time she visits which she tells her dad about. (He does have my back when this happens.) She wants nothing to do with my family stating she "doesn't even know these people".

I've put aside my hurt feelings and overlooked her disrespectful behaviors to make things less awkward but I get the feeling she has no interest in a better relationship between us.

My question, is it time I give up trying and accept that this is the norm?

kathc's picture

Not your monkey.

Stop trying. Most of these brats LOVE to see us trying and trying so they can keep rejecting and hurting.

Stop.

She's not your problem.

Be civil. That's all.

over step's picture

I stopped doing things for her a few months back. Dad is completely in charge when it comes to her. I stay out of drama. I've also taken all of my things out of the communal bathroom so she cannot use them. She needs or wants something it goes through dad and he figures it out.

Guess I have already stopped trying by the sounds of it.

misSTEP's picture

Don't waste your time trying to make a relationship with someone who has their own agenda to sabotage any of your attempts. Be polite but cool. No need to do otherwise. If she is disrespectful, ignore. If she is doing something that will kill her, intervene. If she asks anything, just tell her to go ask her dad.

Then live your life. You can't make people like you if they don't want to. It isn't YOU, it is HER.