Fiance Talks A LOT to Ex Husband

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OK to go along with the SD issues I have previously posted. My fiance texts her ex an awful lot! Not just straight stuff pertaining to the SD's. His fiance, his new baby, his hurts and pains etc. Her and I will be out for a night and Inevitability he texts her or she texts him. We go to bed last night and he is texting her about his Sciatica nerve! This is the man that would punch her and smash her head in to walls and belittle her. Again God forbid I speak to my ex! I have an emotional connection if I do. But bring it up to her and its her girls come first!! And he is the father of my children, I love him for that. (although she says she was never "In Love" with him)

Who knew this stuff would have been so emotionally and physically exhausting! I am an extremely affectionate, caring guy, sometimes probably waaaaaaaay to nice!

When I say a lot, I mean like

When I say a lot, I mean like last night when she was "to tired and frustrated" for a back massage and just wanted to sleep, there were 17 text messages between them in 20 min.

could not have said this

could not have said this better than dtzyblnd

its her girls come first!!

its her girls come first!! And he is the father of my children, I love him for that.

All excuses. She needs to find a good counselor; some abused women have a hard time breaking that connection with their abuser, even after the relationship has ended.

Well I had to laugh at it

Well I had to laugh at it too! I do not love my ex even if she is the mother of my children!

She needs some serious

She needs some serious counseling and you should probably reconsider this relationship. She is not 100% invested in you or the relationship. She is still attached to her abusive ex (hence the need for counseling).

Anyone who puts their ex first and uses their kids as an excuse, before their marriage relationship (relationship first priority, kids are first responsibility) will probably not make a very good partner to anyone.

I'm willing to bet she wasn't single for very long before the two of you met and started dating.

I get the feeling you're a fixer and you believe if you love her, you can fix her. You can't. She's pretty messed up and only a counselor trained helping people recover from abusive relationships can help her at this point.

My advice is to break it off and move out. Until she gets some real help, she will never be able to have a real relationship with you or anyone else.

"This is the man that would

"This is the man that would punch her and smash her head in to walls and belittle her." Any person with even an ounce of self respect would not or could not "love" a POS like this even if he spuged diamond studded platinum winged flying golden sperm to help create their children. Anyone of courage would do everything in their power to keep their children as far from this abusive, violent, insulting, POS as possible.

I am far from a relationship therapist but this reeks of co-dependency and a classic case of an abuse victim with Traumatic Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome. (I could not remember the name of the syndrome where victims bond with their captors/abusers so I Googled it.)

You probably already know this, your fiancé has issues that if I were you I would insist that she address with professional help and also if I were you I would dictate very clearly how inappropriate it is for her to have any interface with an abusive violent criminal unless she is testifying against him in court. She has to step up and protect herself and her kids or she will not be able to keep her past marriage baggage from invading your life together and invading your marriage, home, and family.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

I would question your involvement with this woman at this point. too many issues with her ex and she has already said she puts her children first. both red flags.

you need to protect yourself.