Christmas card
So this is really petty but.....this is my first Christmas since disengaging from DH awful adult kids. One is a thief and the other a brat whose actions a make it clear she doesn't care about her father. Well, anyway. All these years I always did all the shopping, gave them beautiful gifts etc but no more. He's seeing them tomorrow. I didn't even went my name signed on cards to them although I ok'd the money he's putting in their cards. While I'm right there he signs the card to his 27 year old daughter, the one who managed to drag her rear end to the hospital ONE time in 3 months to see him and ignored him for another 7 while he was recovering "I love you with all my heart". Barf. He can say whatever he wants, it's his business but he's such a sap! Over the summer when he tried to talk to her about how much her actions hurt him she said to him, in front of her grandmother....."well FU DAD!" His mother called me so upset and horrified. He is such a sap, he must love being abused. I'd never say anything to him but no he demands zero respect from them and they will continue to treat him the way they do. So glad I'm out!!! I cant pretend it doesn't affect my feelings toward him though. It's hard for me to compartmentalize but I'm trying!
It is always hard to stay on
It is always hard to stay on the side lines and watch as dh is being mistreated. Only dh can decide how much abuse he is willing to take. This is his relationship with his children and as long as any abuse or disrespect is not aimed on to you, then best to stay out of the situation. Dh is a grown man, and he is choosing to accept his children's behavior rather then risk the chance of feeling he has totally lost them.
That is an all time
That is an all time low...saying FU Dad. However, I feel when Skids use their dads as a doormat or a money tree,their actions are FU. As the old sayings goes...actions speak louder than words. She just admitted she has no heart.
That is just sad. I feel
That is just sad. I feel sorry for your DH but it's one of those you reap what you sow things. He's probably been made to feel guilty and kissed their butts ever since the relationship with his kids mother ended. No one respects a doormat.
Don't read the cards. Don't listen to DH moan about how his kids treat him. Let him fully deal with it! Don't defend DH. Nothing. She showed her true colors right in front of her grandmother. Wow, just outright hostility. I hope grandma leaves her out of the will.
Sucks for him, it really does. His monkeys, his circus, not yours.
Give yourself a big 'After
Give yourself a big 'After Christmas' present and quit reading the cards at all. I quit doing that over 4 years ago and have not ever been sorry. Have to admit to a certain amount of curiosity, whether he sent anything to SD but I force myself to remain silent about it. I know she didn't mail anything to him or call. DH created the situation he is now in - chastised and not acknowledged by SD. He's the one responsible for fixing it. I love what Still learning wrote, "His monkeys, his circus, not yours."
As usual, amazing advice and
As usual, amazing advice and such comforting support everyone, THANK YOU!!!!