I do have a cross-stitch staring at me from the window that's been sitting untouched for months. I may just take that out again

This has been going on 4 years for us. I cannot wait for SS's to be grown.

This has been going on 4 years for us. I cannot wait for SS's to be grown.

This is all BM taking DH. He's just defending himself against her deranged idea of reality.

This is all BM taking DH. He's just defending himself against her deranged idea of reality.

Basically we're still in it. We negotiated with BM and decided to drop the whole thing, because it was long and expensive, and we had the impression the judge wouldn't change a thing based on the law guardian's opinion. DH and BM share 50/50 custody, Skids continue to see their therapist, and if either party breaks agreement we go back. They received a forensic evaluation, that cost $1700....that was total garbage. The psychologist only interviewed the four members of this family, no step-parents at all, used NO collateral witnesses like school professionals or the family therapist, only took the paperwork given to her by BM, but used nothing given to her by DH, interviewed the family under extremely unfair circumstances, (BM had kids on vacation for 2 weeks at the time of her interview, DH had to remove kids from BM for his, and the psychologist screwed up the time, so BM threw a hissy fit about it just before his), and is an advocate for domestic abuse so ate up BM's shit story about DH.

So now the law guardian has read this piece of shit report that basically feels sorry for BM, and suggests the skids should be with her. We have been waiting since last April to get this document shredded by our lawyer in court, because it's very clear this forensic psychologist didn't watch the hour plus DVD we have of BM screaming in front of the kids, alienating DH etc. The forensic psych had to CALL US to get an appointment with BM, because BM never took the initiative. I mean, what the hell??? I mean, this is a scary woman. She makes the kids cry and freak out. She's come in my home, screamed in my face in front of the children, and punched me repeatedly to the point of bruising. This was years ago, and she won't ever be allowed in the house again. She been reported to CPS for kicking a toy out of SS9's mouth when he was 2 at the peds office, for choking SS9 when he was 7, and SS12 just showed up with a massive break straight through his arm, (radius and ulna...his forearm looked like an elbow!) by "tripping over a baby gate and falling over 1 step." Child protection has done nothing. She really knows how to put on a good show. SS9 cries every time he has to leave our house and go to hers, but these two boys refuse to say ANYTHING that is going on. She has them scared shitless, and the law guardian won't see it. I mean seriously, she took it at face value when SS12, 10 at the time said to her "My dad takes my mom to court A LOT, and it really stresses her out," instead of questioning "Why does CHILD know about his parents going to court?" Or when SS9 called the law guardian this summer crying that DH doesn't listen to him and he doesn't want to see his therapist anymore. Does she breathe a word of this to DH? No. She emails and attacks the kid's therapist. When DH was made aware, he suggested it'd be most appropriate to make the decision of his counseling between DH, BM and the therapist. BM agreed, said she'd have time mid-september (2 months after the fact, because she figured we'd be done with court by then) and has ignored DH's regular attempts to discuss SS9's therapy.

So it's law guardian, forensic psych on mom's side.

But the judge is actually a really smart person, and pretty much knows what's going on. He just hasn't formally been shown all of this information. Our lawyer says we're lucky to have him, because he finds forensic evaluations to be useless...he just ordered this one expecting it to seal the deal for DH so there'd be no question. So that backfired, and made this entire process effing ridiculous and expensive.

There's no need for me to disengage, because I get along well with my skids. It's more about being constantly worried that they aren't being cared for the 5 days every two weeks we don't see them. They don't bathe over there, they come back in the same clothes they left in...and when I'm at the school on field trips or something, they're clearly wearing those same clothes.

She's abusive, vindictive, neglectful, scatterbrained and completely disorganized. Yet, she thinks they should live with her, out of district. She's already convinced SS12 that she should homeschool since he was 8. She has a GED, didn't graduate high school, and hoards his major assignments which he fails. Meanwhile, DH has a bachelor's in IT, I have a master's in education, have been trying to help him, despite the fact that we only see him 50% of the time. And for some reason this law guardian thinks that the boys would do BETTER in school from their mom's house? It makes no sense. Why would we have spent around $10,000 to just get their school switched to our district (as stated in the paperwork, but BM decided to violate) if we didn't care how well they did? Why would we spend $9,000 in school taxes to live in one of the best districts in the country if we were okay with them not getting their homework done? Argh. I want to sit and chat with the law guardian.