my dh never had a pair when i came to the sds. they mocked him and laughed about his love for them. they demanded to be bought expensive things and like fool opened his wallet time after time.

I know what you mean. I find it very hard to look at DH as a man when I watch him bow to SheSloth! I want to tell him, "What are you afraid of? Get your balls out of her purse and put her in her place!" She lies? He believes her or looks the other way. She leaves her mess lying around? He picks up after her! He practically begs her to spend any time with him. In return, she expects him to drop everything and taxi her around. She wants something, and he better find a way to get it for her or face her wrath!

Disengaging doesn't completely make things better. These guys don't get it, and they still try to push you into having a relationship with their child, who has zero respect for you. When you don't bend over backward for their child, you get yelled at for not caring or not liking their kid.

Sad thing is, when the skid isn't around, the marriage IS great! When he isn't being treated like crap by his kid, he is more at ease and in a better mood. Not having to be around the toxic attitude puts me at ease and in a better mood. We can actually go do things without having to worry about a fight because the skid isn't getting her way or complaining she is bored and wants to go home to hide in her room.

DH seems so afraid that his daughter will try to run back to BM's and never want to see him again, that he lets her test him like a doormat! When she isn't around and we talk, he sees it all! He also finally gets fed up and starts to parent, only to fall back to being a doormat when she starts making him pay.

I've been married for 12 years...we dated 2 years before that. When we married, the biggest problem was BM, but that was only an every now and then issue. Bam was so possessive of SheSloth back then, that I never thought in a billion years she would live with us. However, when SheSloth stopped being BM's best bud and turned into an alcohol drinking, school skipping, pot smoking monster, she gets dumped on us...after BM managed to turn the child into a narssasistic brat who thinks the whole world revolves around her. I never saw this coming, and now I feel stuck! Do I leave the situation, or hold out hope that she will be out of this house soon and I can get my husband back?

i hate that my fiance doesnt parent his kid. fortunately we dont have to deal with her often, and fortunately she's not a money drain beyond the CS.

sadly, he wants her to get to 18 as fast as i do. he just doesnt want to deal with her and her mother anymore.

I'm sure my DH has plenty of guilt because SD19 and SD13 lost their BM at ages 17 and 11. BM was a piece of work, but she kept a good house, took care of the Skids.....just drank too much in between. SD19 is an extremely defiant young woman, who is immature and has no control over her emotions, most of all, anger. If you don't push her buttons (i.e. ask her to do something) she is ok, but she is an entitled POS. I told DH about five years ago to try saying , "No" to her once in awhile. She was always used to getting her way and still is.

SD13, on the other hand, is quiet and more laid back than OSD, but she just turned 13. I have seen her becoming more defiant at home. I had the very same talk with DH tonight about SD13. I reminded him how I told him to give SD19 boundaries when she was younger. I reminded him how she is now, how she goes off at the littlest thing. I told him SD13 is headed down the same path unless he starts telling her No and putting some boundaries in place.

I think with the proof of SD19, DH realizes that SD13 could end up the same way. I have basically had to start parenting DH and telling him what we can and cannot do with SD13. She basically wants an entire new wardrobe since she has decided to be a boy. I told DH that we have had her out shopping three times since May, and every time she gets cranky and difficult. I wish he would man up and be firm with her. I told him to quit giving her everything all of the time. I told him it leaves no time for us. I told him I know his kids will always be first, but the wife should be first. The two of us could raise these kids right, but I refuse to do it on my own, with just me being the bad guy.

I basically asked his opinion on finances tonight, told him to tell SD13 about all of the great things she HAS, and that she doesn't need more. He said he was going to take the clothes in her closet with tags on them and try to return them tomorrow.

Does that count as a step towards being a man? Ugh, I don't know. He goes out of town again tomorrow.

~ Moon

DH is out of town but called SD13 this afternoon. He told her to vacuum the entire first floor! LOL There are such things as miracles!

I'm not cooking this week, either....... }:)

~ Moon

I'm the same as you, NOT. I have 2 SDs FT, but thankfully one is away at college. DH is lazy with his parenting and part of that is that he thinks certain things don't matter. He doesn't realize that how we maintain our household grooms these Skids to be (or not to be) productive contributors to society in the future. I have a perpetual toddler in SD13 and a mini-wife in SD19.

I have a chore list for SD13 and last night at bed time, I decided to glance at the checklist. I asked her why she hadn't put fresh water in the basement bowl for the dogs? "Oh, I can do that right now," all cheery and smiling. Well, why the f*ck didn't you do it earlier while you were sitting around? It's on the list you moron.

It's very tough getting anyone to take responsibility in my household. I have only recently started becoming territorial and telling DH that I don't want certain things happening in MY house that are whack! Found SD13's underwear in the basement sink cabinet last week while he was gone, along with a half full can of soda, trash, etc.

I told her next time I wasn't waiting for DH. I would punish her myself. I desperately try to stay disengaged, but then my house goes to shit and I am back in the fire. Ugh.

~ Moon

Sally, I need to try that with SD19. She'll go all ODD BPD on me, lol.

Not, SD19 showered this past summer, but she would always lay in her bed on her laptop with that wet bun of hair on her head. So, now even with her away at college, her room smells like old socks because of that nasty pillow she infected all summer. There were some days I would come home and the upstairs hall would smell like mildew or something low and musky whenever she had her door open. You stink! Not B.O., but the rotting pillow. I would dash into my room and shut the door!