Have any of you seen the storm before it hits?
I don't even know where to begin. We went through this with SD(7). I see behavior that I would deem completely inappropriate such as screaming at DH, arguing with him, calling him names. I try to address it with DH. I get the same sorry excuses of, "well it's been this way for so long I just don't even notice when she treats me that way" or as I refer to it as here's my cop out and now I can walk away with the situation with my head held high. Things get really out of control because the behavior is not addressed AND THEN DH is like I'm going to do something about it now.
It's now SS(5) turn. I see bad behavior. I point it out to DH. I get the same excuse that I got two years ago. And the cycle will repeat itself.
I keep thinking what these kids will be like when they get older. I tried to explain to DH that respect for others is not something kids are born with. They are taught by their parents. This is a basic life skill. It's something that you need. BM's not going to be teaching them this. Her lack of respect for anybody has cost her countless jobs, her marriage to DH, friends, and god knows what else. With what DH and some other people have told me about her and how she treats her parents, I'm shocked that her parents even talk to her. And DH just sticks his head in the sand and thinks that if he tells me that he just doesn't see when his kids are direspecting him because they have been doing it for long it's become a normal way of life that things will be just fine and dandy. My question is, how does it ever get to that point? I just don't get it. I'm afraid of how things are going to turn out. I keep telling him that if he can't manage to start seeing, his inability to parent is going to ruin us. And how, after two years can he be using the same sorry excuses?
What happens in situations like this? How do they turn out?
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Am i just completely screwed
Am i just completely screwed if DH doesn't pull his head out of the sand and parent?
I spent the first 2 years of
I spent the first 2 years of my married life with DH explaining that by allowing his then 3\4 year old raise his voice to DH, hit DH, ignore DH and be outright disrepectful was wrong and that maybe SS4 screaming NO in his face seems harmless today (well to DH anyway) it was his 4 year old way of saying F-U Dad.
It fell on deaf ears - all I got in response from DH is the classic - you just don't like my kid.
SS is turing 7 now. He is an ignorant kid - if he was an adult you would refer to him as an ignorant bastard. But because he is 7 you can't say that.
Good luck DH.
Have you tried to stop
Have you tried to stop pointing out the flaws in his kids? I used to be like you. All it did was make DH defensive and more disney.
That's what I told him last
That's what I told him last night. That I am completely disengaging from the situation, which he was fine with. Then I explained in better detail with that meant. I will not be enforcing rules or disapline anymore. The only time I will be correcting them is if they disrespect me, my BD, or if they are doing something life threatening. Let's just say that he wasn't a big fan of my disengagement after that.
I will not waist my time and energy and let there little attitudes and behavior drive me crazy if he is unwilling to stop making exuses and realize what this can turn into down the road. I'm tiered of being told I'm mean and to harsh because I think being punished for outright disrespect towrds an adult should happen.
One thing that I "forgot" to mention to him is that since he can't manage to parent them he can make up for it in other ways like cleaning their rooms when the leave to go back to their mothers, make sure their bedding is clean, do their laundry and then put it away, clean their bathroom after their week long adventure of trashing it and peeing down the side of the toilet. I guess he'll figure it out here pretty soon though. SD will be running out of clean underware anytime now.
My SD14 has recently started
My SD14 has recently started screaming at DH. She learned this behavior from watching BM treat him the same way. What else are these monsters supposed to learn. They imitate what they see.
Little asshats.