So much for counseling
Forums:
We're supposed to have our 3rd session with our counsellor tonight and last night DH informs me that he's not going. He doesn't think it's doing any good and it's just the same thing every time so he's done with it. :? He also didn't want to talk about it any further last night. I'm very scared because it seems as if the end is near. I truly don't know what else to do. This may have started with issues with his daughter but it's way past that now to fundamental relationship problems.
Why do people do this?
Why do people do this? Counseling is something that takes time, if it was a quick fix then more people would go! It's a committment to finding a way to handle a problem, better communication between a couple, maybe not a "fix" for the issue but better ways to handle the issues. My Ex-H did something like this (hence EX-H), my suggestion is for you to keep going whether he wants you to or not. The counselor and you can still work on better coping strategies, problem solving, and it gives you a neutral place to say anything you want, sort of like step talk. Good luck!
I see my own therapist but we
I see my own therapist but we went to this one as a couple. Did you continue with the couples therapist on your own? I'm going to tonight's session because it's too late to cancel and not get charged.
Go tonight for sure and just
Go tonight for sure and just ask, the counselor can let you know. And maybe if you go anyways, he might have a change of heart about next time.
Sadly what your DH is doing
Sadly what your DH is doing regarding counseling is par for the course in my experience. My XW and I went to counseling for many months following our watershed discussion that uncovered that she did not know if she wanted a divorce. I selected a counselor (from the yellow pages, we were broke college students) and we actually started to improve our relationship.
We started with my relationship with my family, her relationship with her family, how those templates influenced our own marriage, we worked on ourselves separately, we worked on us together..... then we got to the lynchpin issue and she walked out of the therapists office never to return. The issue that ran her our the door was our nearly completely abstinent marriage. Unbeknownst to me at that time she was screwing every swinging pecker she could get her crotch around except for me and had been for nearly our entire 2 year marriage. When the therapist stated that we would not start working on our intimacy and sexual issues my XW stood up and said "I do not have a problem with sex" and walked out.
I kept seeing the therapist for another 6mos. She was a big help to me in reconnecting with the guy I liked being and who I had lost track of during my 2 years of marital hell.
As other's have suggested, keep seeing your therapist. Do it for you. If DH is on his way out the door this will give you a head start in engaging with a new phase of your life.
Good luck.
When DH would not agree to go
When DH would not agree to go to counseling with me, I went by myself. It was one of the best things I did in my life. It helped me to gain self-esteem and self-respect. In turn, I learned to expect mutual respect from others - including DH. DH never went but it changed our relationship drastically and for the better. I'm sure it will help you too.
This!!! Counseling doesn't
This!!!
Counseling doesn't seem to work with my DH either - he doesn't like what he hears. I have started to go again a few weeks ago to sort some things out and I am thankful for the advice and guidance I receive. It helps me stay strong and confident.