It's been quite a hurtful roller coaster since mothers day! I've been ignoring the entire step situation best I can, keeping myself busy with work.
But I always get sucked in one way or another. A little background. SD10 put on an incredibly fake on mothers day weekend. I got sucked into her efforts saturday when she planned an entire weekend and thought to myself, "maybe she's changed." Stupid stupid me! Sunday, she only wished me, hugs and all as soon as DH came home from doing errands (ignored me before that). I was so hurt that I broke down that day and told myself, I will not fall for her crap yet again! Fool me once...
So i've been keeping my distance and being just formal with her. Not spending much time with her!
Then a few weeks ago, she tells DH and me that some teacher at school has been harassing her asking personal questions about her biomom, insisting she talk about her family situation even when SD insisted she does not want to talk about it. So naturally, Dh and I are upset because we don't want anyone to make her uncomfortable at school and pry into her personal life.
We go to the school the following day to address this concern with this teacher in front of her boss. Everything that follows blew our mind. Turns out, SD has been spewing hateful comments about me to whoever will listen, complaining about how mean I am to her, how she doesn't like the nasty lunches I pack her. Both teachers confirmed this. They mentioned how open she is about having "2 mommies" and doesn't hold back on discussing personal events at home. They cited a few incidents that only SD could of related to them.
Naturally, DH and I were so embarrassed and upset. I was even more furious because she betrayed me AGAIN! I'm lucky they didn't believe her because they know she makes up crap all the time. When we confronted her, she denied it till the end. So we just gave up.

After that, I drew a very fine line and do not cross it. I spend zero time alone with SD. I no longer make her lunches. I no longer spend quality time with her. Every question she has gets directed to her dad. I am done! DH totally understands and doesn't push me.

This is continued for about 2 weeks. Last night, SD approaches me wishing to speak to me privately. She seems nervous. What does she have to say? "Can we be kind to each other again and be friends again?"
I am speechless. I'm sure someone on the in laws camp has coached her because she is the most arrogant girl i've ever met. She would never and has never approached me and only given me the silent treatment when she's gotten in trouble in the past.
I know to be cautious and keep a distance. But the sucker in me thinks, "maybe try accepting her olive branch and see where it leads?"

I did tell her right then, kindness means being real, not fake. Kindness means not spreading mean false rumors about others. Friendship comes from trust and how can I trust her to be kind to me in front of DH and fake behind his back? She had no response.

What would you girls do? Do I leave things the way they are, which are quite awkward at the moment. I know DH feels ill about how things have developed between his little girl and me. I feel bad as well. But how much is too much? WHen do you say to yourself, that's it. There is no point in trying anymore. I've done all I can?