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Rant rant rant :)

NotMyProblemAnymore's picture

I know God has blessed me with so much in life like stumbling upon this site so I don't want to complain over the small things.
But what's a sista gotta do to get a vacation alone with DH? We've been married for a few years and never been on a vacation alone together! Ever! I know it seems trivial because DH isn't as bad as some of the others mentioned here. He tries to discipline SD10 and does try to give our marriage time. But I wonder if we'll ever be able to go on vacation as a couple? We never had a honey moon. Now with summer coming up and everyone talking about getaways and vacations on the beach, the green eyes monster starts creeping up inside me.
We have SD 24/7 so it's hard to find overnight babysitters. His parents are not an option and my parents work full time. We've talking about maybe leaving her overnight with his parents so we can go for a quick weekend trip but that's never happened.
My mom has been talking about going overseas next year to visit her father. My aunts and uncles will be coming as well so it's sort of a family reunion and I definitely want to go with her. I figure if I can't travel with DH, why should I not travel with my family or friends when given the chance? DH wasn't happy about this and I told him, well take me yourself so I won't go with my mom. That shut him up because he knows he can't.
I'm not trying to make him feel bad. I understand his situation but he promised me before we got married that we would travel. We discussed this. Now, everything has changed.
Should I give up something I love, traveling, because DH can't join me due to SD's school schedule and finances?
How many deep breaths can a girl take?
It's bad enough we barely get any time alone because she is with us all the time. Babysitters only give us a few hours a week, usually every other week and that's not enough time in my opinion!
I could go on and on but i'll stop here and save some for next time.
Have a lovely weekend ladies!

Orange County Ca's picture

Absolutely go. You're not attached at the hip. My wife and I both pursue different adventures when the other isn't really interested. Why waste the time and money on a boring trip with one's spouse when one could go somewhere else of interest?

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Remember a happy wife is a happy life. Go travel without him ~ maybe at some point he will see what he is missing.

wth was I thinking's picture

This is the kind of thing that scares me with having bios. What do people do with their own bios in situations like this? Neither DH or I have family anywhere remotely close. At least with the skids they are only EOW.

Goincrazy40's picture

Well - if the kids are your bios, you WANT to vacation with them! }:)

I don't really want to vacation with my skids, but my DH is all excited about it. We never go on trips just us either. Makes me crazy.

AllySkoo's picture

Not sure what your finances look like, but since you seem to be able to afford the vacation itself I'll throw this out there... There are services that offer "vacation nannies" or "vacation babysitters". College kids looking to make extra money, older women looking for the same, what have you. There are even "night nannies", if you can leave SD with family during the day, who'll come specifically to be there overnight, which is a bit cheaper than hiring someone for a full 5 days or something. (Also a godsend with infants, when you just need to sleep!) You could always try one of those services as a day babysitter a few times first to get comfortable with them and work your way up to a vacation too.

NotMyProblemAnymore's picture

Sorry for the late reply guys. BM is nuts (literally) so she gave up custody and moved out of the state. She is not capable of taking care of herself, let alone a kid. So her relatives convinced her to give SD to her dad. She comes by once a year to see SD. It's really sad actually. There are occasional phone calls but SD could care less about her own mother. She never wants to talk to her.

NotMyProblemAnymore's picture

DH isn't as bad as most mentioned on here, although he DOES have his moments. He's come a long way, and picks up a lot of SD's slack after I stopped catering to her. I do what I feel comfy with and ignore all her BS.
You wanted full custody so now she's all yours!
And you wanted to get married and have a semi normal life with a wife, have more kids, so it's time to deliver.
I refuse to put my life on hold and not have great life experiences just because you can't make arrangements for SD.
We deserve a honeymoon. We deserve time alone. But if it's not in the cards for us, then i'm not going to sit around at home and wait for her to turn 18! Heck no!
Thank you guys for your feedback!