I can imagine if it were me in that situation I would feel completely overwhelmed, but then I am a solitary person, and maybe you like lots of people around you. Was this the situation when you moved in? Or did MIL appear recently with suitcases? If you don't even have the odd weekend to yourselves I would NOT call this "making a lot of time to be with you" .

Personally, I could never live with in-laws and wall to wall SKIDS. EOW is my limit, but we are all different. Your partner probably works on the "squeaking gate gets the most oil" principle, ie he gives priority to the person or people who makes the most demands. Perhaps you should ramp up asserting your needs instead of behaving well and getting ignored.

I agree with alwaysanxous and Kes...this is getting to be a habit...this agreeing stuff...LOL
You might want to suggest that MIL can babysit, she lives in, right? Invite him to your place for a night. He could be so caught up in a circle with ALL of them that breaking out might never have occurred to him! Softly softly catchee monkey! Let him see how things can be when he gives you the attention you deserve. Sounds like he has a lot on plate right now. DH here calls it the squeaky wheel and it gets oiled to get whomever out of his hair if he's really busy. That I did not subscribe to, if I am squeaky it's squeaky clean and with clean linens and he knows which oil to use!

Honey, maybe you should consider moving on.. That is just too many skids and in laws (ha!) in the same place at the same time! ... And the boy invades your bed. I feel for you!! At least you have your own place! But like many of us SPs-- if we could do it all again we WOULDNT! And personal time with your man is a MUST! Maybe you should make this away time last for two weeks to get the point across!
Anyhow... Let us know what happens! ((Hugs!))

I complain about the same thing with my husband. In the beginning he had the kids eowe (fri- mon. morning), eo monday night and every thurs. for dinner. Our weekends "off" we would spend time with each other. Eventually all that changed. He would go to things on the weekends he didn't have kids. He has 3 kids all in sports. Sometimes the kids would 9 or 10 games in a weekend!

We now have the kids 50/50 and now we have less time. I too told him I didn't feel like me or our relationship was a priority to him. When I looked at the calendar, we had 4 days a month to ourselves and now he wants to change custody again, which will leave us 2 days a month. He schedules his business trips and volunteering(he's the treasurer at church)around the kids custody time with him...that's why we have so little time.

I mentioned to him all that I do for the kids, him and our home. I told him 4 days a month is not being unreasonable and I give alot to our situation and I deserve more from him in return.

I also told him I feel resentment towards the kids because the world revolves around them. So, if the new custody arrangements get awarded to him, I asked him to not go to the kids events on our free saturdays. He is also responsible for making our plans for day we have together. I also shared with him that I need romance in the bedroom...candle's, music etc. So far, he's trying and I make sure he know's I feel appreciated and loved.

It's true when they "If mama ain't happy, Nobody's happy!" He needs a wake up call!

1. Good for you to have separate abodes!

2. He must be "freshly divorced"

GG (biodad I live with) was like this in the early years. Some things you might have heard already:

"I don't get to see my kids that often"

"My kids NEEEEEEED me; you go alone" (this in response to a request to take a few hours off to go to a company xmas party; at this time GG was seeing the three peccories EVERY WEEKEND. . . ZERO couple time)

"We see each other after work so that's plenty of "alone" time."

I had to put my foot down yet flatter his ego. Try this:

"Sometimes I just want you all to myself."

That worked for awhile. Sounds like you have a solid guilty daddy on your hands, but don't worry. His constant catering and playing "step 'n' fetch" to his own spawn while they ignore you and disrespect him will soon have you disgusted and then you won't WANT to spend time alone with him as a couple b/c you've lost so much respect.

Sorry if I sound so cynical but that's a road many of us have been down.

Do yourself a favour dear and start looking for a nice CHILDLESS man!!!

OH and here are the warning signs of guilty daddy. . .more than one? RUN!!

1. Does your man allow co-sleeping with his children? (aka the kiddies routinely jump into bed with him at night)

2. Does he have to lie down with them to get them to sleep?

3. Do the children seem somehow "stunted" socially? Do they have poor hygiene habis, eating habits, bedtime habits?

4. Does your man subscribe to the "one big happy family" model? (expects you to love his children as much as or more than him)

5. Does your man have the "inability" to say no to his children?

6. Do his children seem overly "hyperactive" to you?

7. Does your man say "just relax; you worry too much" or "Everything will be just fine" if you bring up a legitimate concern

8. Do the children seem "overly needy" demanding that dad spend 24/7 with them? Do they physically lay all over him and go bonkers when daddy steps out of their peripheral vision?

9. Are they unable to do age appropriate tasks or want dad to do things that could easily be done themselves?

10. Does dad seem overprotective of his children; unwilling to let them try things out on their own?

11. Has dad said things like "I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it will affect the children" or "we'll take the high road" when faced with blatant BM stepping over boundaries.

If you can answer YES to ANY of these questions, get your sneakers ready to go.

Do you know your man's FINANCIAL situation? Do you know if he has massive left over marital debt? How high is his CS obligation? Have you seen the divorce decree or mediation agreement. Does it seem overly slanted in BM's favour?

Love and "understanding" simply does not cover it all. Especially in the case of stepmom is supposed to be "understanding" when all of her money goes to household expenses b/c almost all of biodad's money goes to CS.

How long would you be willing to float biodad should he lose a job and have massive CS obligations?

There are many other considerations as this type of relationship is not to be taken lightly.

OMG you and I are experiencing the EXACT same situation. My BF lives with his grandma, mom, uncle, male cousin, female cousin and her two kids AND his two kids....I WILL NOT MOVE IN WITH HIM.

I won't even get a separate place with him and the kids, they are too clingy! His son does the exact same thing as yours, when he sees us sitting together on the couch he'll shove in between us. Or demand that daddy sleep next to him. Won't let me do anything for him (tie his shoes, fix him lunch) nope just wants "DADDY" to do it. It's effing annoying and I've gotten to the point where I don't even go over there all that much cause I feel resentful. And his daughter is a whole nother story, read my other thread on her(Do They Always Get Worse??)

I'm not gonna be relegated to second class citizen while he expects to be #1.

And it's soooo BORING when I go over. The kids watch blues clues or treehouse turned up sky rocket volume high.....UGH. And he doesn't want to leave unless heading to the store or something cause he feels too guilty leaving his kids. There is no peace.

When he came over I asked him to stay the night and he says to me, 'NO, I have kids!' Making me feel like a selfish needy, b*tch.

Don't move in with him, DO NOT (am I ever glad I didn't). And don't give up your plans just cause he's stuck with the kids.

Not sure if you've gotten to that point yet but you're gonna get sick of going over there and wanting to find other things to do than spend alllllllll day with the kids around. I certainly have,

I'm planning on going on a cruise without him. He asked why he's not invited and I said, 'Well you got KIDS, remember???'

The summer of 2010 was the "last straw" for me. We (he and his kids and I) went on vacation to see his side of the family. My SD (11 at the time) packed only 1 bathing suit. I told BF she only packed one, and she insisted she was fine.

We get there and she talks to her Aunt and her Dad to complain she only has one bathing suit. My answer to it was "OH well, you were told to pack two and you chose not to, so now you deal with it" Dad and Auntie felt that we should buy her another one. Auntie goes out shopping with me and tries to manipulate me into helping her purchase one. I took no part in it. Auntie buys one, brings it home, SD wears it once, and then decides she doesn't like it.

The 3 Skids behavior was horrible the whole time (7 days too long!)I warned him when we got back that I will probably not be taking a vacation with them again. He was puzzled and didn't understand why I would reject a vacation with the kids.

This summer, we took separate vacations. I went on a cruise with my BD 25 and had a wonderful time. He spent his vacation with his boys and the bratty SD did not go. BM had her staying between 3 different places, while BM went on a kid free vacation herself.

Don't give up your place of refuge. I wish I had one!!