Oh God...she's making me crazy...
Anyone else's teen SK talk in baby talk? Holy fuck...I don't know if I'm going to make it through the next couple hours with her. She thinks it's cute. It's the most annoying noise I've ever heard. She is almost 16 and says things like 'me thirsty daddy' 'me sleepy' 'me no wanna watch this movie'. OH. MY. GOD. Just shut the fuck up please!!!!!! Even DH is starting to get annoyed by it. Never thought that would happen.
We went to a BBQ last night at our neighbour's 2 doors down and she acted like a spoiled 3 year old the whole time. She couldn't go 5 minutes without interrupting the conversation, made noises when she ate, we had to stop her from having a third burger after stuffing the first 2 down her throat so fast I couldn't watch her eat. When the neighbour was nice enough to ask her about school, friends, etc, she would give one word answers. But if the conversation didn't directly include her she would interrupt with something completely irrelevant to what we were talking about. I glared at DH who finally spoke up and told her to watch her manners. She looked baffled.
The best part of the night is when she was sitting next to him, sighing loudly and when DH told her to stop she tried to lay her head in his lap! Our neighbour was visibly disturbed and DH was embarrassed and snapped at her. He told her to go home and get ready for bed if she was that bored. She did. Of course we ended up leaving 20 minutes later since heaven forbid she be alone!
I'm so disgusted by her behaviour. She complains to us constantly that we never do anything when she visits. THIS IS WHY!! Now that DH has been publicly embarrassed by her, perhaps he will finally step up and change this.
EDIT: I just snapped on
EDIT: I just snapped on her...I was trying to talk to DH and she starting oinking (yes, that's right, oinking), pushing her nose up and squealing 'Am I a cute pig daddy?'
I lost my shit. "SD! I am talking to your father! Stop interrupting and act your age!" I wish I had a camera for their faces.
^^^ This. I don't know about
^^^
This.
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't let a 3yo use a computer. Or a phone. Or a tablet.
Exactly ladies...this will be
Exactly ladies...this will be said on the next visit
Yep, take her to lots of
Yep, take her to lots of public places and let her cut loose with her behavior. The public shaming of your husband is the only thing that stands a chance of changing things. I am delighted your neighbor was disturbed. I guarantee you had the neighbor said nothing and you commented you would have heard some version of "you are jealous and can't stand the fact that my child loves me." My husband makes everything about him needing to be a good parent even when that is not the point, so he sees and hears nothing. Example last week he did not discuss how his child would be collected from a friend who lives far away, and he made plans for pick up the impact us both, so I calmly said, "can we discuss plans before you make them." He immediately goes to "I HAVE to pick up MY child." I was never questioning that he did, but he immediately got defensive as though I was trying to stop him from picking up HIS child...
I love the whole possessive "my" They don't see how they are the one pitting us against each other. He wants me to be accepting and loving yet it is always "my."
They seem to hear only when other people tell them that their child is difficult. So, keep taking her to events and let the bad manners and inappropriate behavior fly. Let him be embarrassed, and see the people who could not care less about his love react to his daughter.
you are fortunate many of the step kids here seem to know when to turn on the charm (at parties and such) and save their less than charming ways for times when there are no witnesses.
I LOVE this idea And yes my
I LOVE this idea
And yes my DH is very much like this too. I'm convinced his much repeated 'I wish I had my daughter more' speech is more about ego than actually wanting her more. He makes everything in regards to his precious twit face about how HE feels about it. He does back me up and knows I have tried with her, but about a year ago she crossed a line with me and things have not been good with her and I since. We only have her once a month (SD's choice) and he always chooses that weekend to busy himself so he doesn't have to really interact with her. This weekend was a revelation for me...bring on some more public humiliation!
Definitely, they see their
Definitely, they see their children as a reflection of themselves. I hear you on the whole "HIS" feelings. Sadly, those feelings are often the root of what screws the kids up. I am glad that he is supportive of you though. Mine is until he is put in the middle, and then he errs on the side of his kids even when it is obviously wrong. He needs to prove his loyalty I guess. They never see how big a role they play in the dynamic we get stuck with.
We are all probably entitled to PhD degrees in Psychology after all these years.
Here's hoping babykins takes her act on the road more often!
LMAO!
LMAO!
Ahhh its just a phase.
Ahhh its just a phase. Step-mothers are so uptight now-a-days. I remember my step-daughter about that age decided eating baby food was a good idea. She said it tasted pretty good and I'm sure it was but it sounded expensive. She had to buy it herself if she wanted it and soon it passed.
"Step-mothers are so uptight
"Step-mothers are so uptight now-a-days."
Why thank you Orange County for painting stepmothers with just a broad brush and enlightening me to all my issues being MY fault.
I didn't realize I was being so uptight when I insisted my underage stepdaughter not send naked pictures of herself online or that she not steal a cell phone to chat with men or talk back to her teachers and be disruptive in class, or fail half her classes, or not show basic manners or social skills in public because we are not doing exactly what SHE wants. Perhaps I was also being uptight when I held my DH while he cried at person she has become and the choices she makes and her breaking his heart over and over and over again. I suppose that I should just 'parent' her like her BM does and let her talk her way out of just about everything and never be held accountable for the choices she makes.
And I definitely was being uptight when her lies almost ended my marriage last year. That was my fault too.
I'll take your baby food 'issue' over my life the last 4 years any day.
Fedup, maybe you should start
Fedup, maybe you should start throwing a few small dinner parties at your house. Invite your husband's friends over - not yours. I'll bet the SD16 really acts up in her own home. While your husband's friends are in ear shot you could ask the SD16 to maybe set the table or grab drinks for your guests. If she says anything snarky, all the husband's friends will see it and that again will embarrass dear old Dad. I would be giving that girl little tasks to do all night long just to push those buttons. Always be sweet to her while asking her to do these things otherwise it will look snarky on your part.
"SD16, it looks like John might need a refill oh his drink. Could you please see if he would like one?"
"SD16, would you please put the mashed potatoes in a serving bowl and put them on the table? Thank you"
"Oops, I forgot dinner napkins. Sd16 would you please put some napkins on the table? Thank you."
"SD16, I think it is time for dessert. Would you please grab the dessert plates and forks? Thank you."
If you can, don't let her get away with going to her room for the evening. She needs to be present all night.
I have actually done this and I have to tell you, I really enjoyed the evening!! It would have embarrassed me if it were my friends but they were DH's friends! Let the games begin!!
oh god this is
oh god this is beautiful...lol