To walk away or suffer in silence??
Well SD14 is still staying at her friend's house, SO didn't bring her back home...yet. Ever since our huge fight about her when I laid everything out on the table about why she can't live here, things haven't been the same between us. I approached him about it because clearly he was pouting and he told me he didn't like the way I spoke about his child. I told him I understand where he's coming from but I did not disrespect her. He might not have liked hearing the truth, but I never called her out of her name I just point blank told him why I don't want her in my home. SO has been miserable to live with, he barely speaks to me and is just ridiculous. So I told him if it is that important to have her back home, then she needs to go into a program for teens that use drugs and are out of control and she needs to be regularly drug tested in the home. If she fails or doesn't go to the program, she is going to her mother's to live. He said ok, however apparently SD doesn't like that idea so she is not coming back at this time. So now he resents me even more...I'm just the big bad witch. I really feel like walking away, I can't win.
Oh and she posted on her
Oh and she posted on her Instagram last night that the only family she has is her "Papi"...which might I add she is not nor is her father hispanic so that just sounds RIDICULOUS! But anyway she said he is the only family member she has because he doesn't judge her and he provides for her no matter what. Which truly is interpreted as, "I love my dad because he lets me do whatever I want including smoking pot and he gives me money whenever I ask for it." SMH this girl needs a wake up call AKA moving back home with her mom.
Disengage from these minor
Disengage from these minor issues, "Papi" etc., or you will drive yourself crazy.
Is there a BM in the pic?
Is there a BM in the pic? Your blog says you've been a member over 33 weeks, but not entries, but I might be having an issue with this because "no entries' showed up on another member's blog I clicked on.
Oh I've posted a ton of
Oh I've posted a ton of gripes LOL. SD chooses not to have a relationship with her BM because her mother won't tolerate ANY of her crap. She tells her straight out what she thinks of how she is living her life and SD doesn't like that so she stays away. The last time she went to visit her SD purposely started a fight with her mom and called her father to come get her. SMH
I might be having a site
I might be having a site issue because "no entries" also popped up on another member's blog I clicked on, so sorry. :O
That's ok.
That's ok.
I think entries only show up
I think entries only show up if you blog - not if you post on the forums? So if a member only ever posts in the forums it will say no entries.
She told the school her mom
She told the school her mom was hitting her. DCF investigated and ended up closing the case. She chose to live with her father because why the hell would you want rules??? SMH
I found some blogs in your
I found some blogs in your bookmarks. It looks like BM gave up sole custody to your fiancé by telling the judge she didn't want her. I feel so bad for you as I don't know what recourse you have now. This is actually what led me to finding this site…how to ensure that SD17 does not move in when CS ends and her mother gives up her cash cow. I used to be subjected to the silent treatment, comments that I am cruel, etc. when trying to parent SD's outrageous behaviors, etc.
I now realize I am the one with the power--MY voice, but it could come at a high price (if my OH decides he would rather sit around laughing about farts and belches and eating cheetos with her in some apartment instead of enjoying a future with me.) That is the chance I am willing to take because another SM on here put it best, but I can't find her post. Her name is Hannah something, and she told her DH that two competing women cannot live in the same household. It is like two females vying to be the alpha bitch while DH/OH/fiance lion whatever sits back while he is "being fought over" and therein lies the problem -- the man. We all need one who puts us first…no questions, excuses, guilt, remorse, etc. End of story. I believe I have that man, but I've also learned in my lifetime there are no guarantees. I simply hope for the best.
Yes! I am evil because I
Yes! I am evil because I don't want his pot smoking daughter back in the house around my 11 year old daughter.
She smokes pot. The craziest
She smokes pot. The craziest part is he had no plan in place for when she wanted to come home. So that means it would just go right back to how it was before..didn't work then sure as hell wont work now.
Does the friend know that
Does the friend know that she's using marijuana? I'm assuming that in time her friends parents will catch on and toss her out as a bad influence on their kid. Maybe a confidential call - mother to mother type thing - is in order so her friends mother is at least on alert.
But enough on the kid you've done the right thing and should stand your ground. Your husband now has two women telling him the truth about his kid and like many parents he doesn't want to hear the bad news. You've done your part.
He'll most likely see the light eventually so the question is is he worth waiting for? If the kid is his only downfall then I'd say stick it out you can always decide to leave at a later time.
Another option is to tell him that he should rent a small apartment and set up housekeeping near the school so he can take the kid in until this works itself out. Make him see that the situation isn't impossible and you're willing to put up with the financial drain for now. Tell him when the kid graduates he can return thus giving him time to see the light without ending the marriage.
You can even file for a Legal Separation (Google it) which would remove you from financial liability in case the kid does something real stupid like driving under the influence of drugs or whatever.
Well lucky for me, I refer to
Well lucky for me, I refer to him as my husband on this site but I never took the plunge. We've been together for 13 years and we are engaged but thank God I never got to the altar with him!
Things were fine until his daughter moved in with us, when I saw his lack of parenting it made me sick. All we argue about is his daughter, I just don't understand how he can put that much effort into defending her and turning a blind eye to what she is doing yet he wont put that effort into getting her back on track. It makes me sick.
Her father is in denial about
Her father is in denial about her smoking pot, he said he gives her lunch money and pays for her to get her nails done. Umm no she skips lunch at school and buys pot stupid. I actually pulled up her Twitter and Facebook and showed him all the stuff she writes about getting high...still nada. Instead of admitting his daughter is using pot he screamed at me for being "immature". WOW.
She came to my daughter's bday party high as a kite...it was clear as day. He still denied it. It's unbelievable.
I know it would be tough, but
I know it would be tough, but if you are not married, I would say walk away! He is letting his princess run this show, and it is obvious he has no intention of ever parenting her. She will only bring misery to you, and potential danger to your daughter.
apparently SD doesn't like
apparently SD doesn't like that idea so she is not coming back at this time. So now he resents me even more.
He resents you because he doesn't have the balls to parent his 14 year old daughter? He lets her do whatever she wants and live wherever she wants and this is your fault? Hilarious.
How very sad that neither of this girl's parents give a damn about her or what happens to her.