More trouble to come
so DH went to SD this weekend and YSD was there too. YSD and DH really haven't had much of a relationship. We basically see her at Christmas and one or two birthdays a year, one of them being hers of course, looking for her gift.
YSD meet some guy approx 6 -7 months ago, shacked up with him right away, living at her mom's house. She is 30 and can't hold a job, didn't finish high school, you know the drill. Typical failure to launch.
Well she is 5 months pregnant, waiting for subsidized housing cuz now they all can't live at her mom's.
I told DH well I guess you'll be getting lots of calls for money now! LOL. DH said maybe we should change our number jokingly.
My question is, should I call YSD and say congratulations? I don't really have a relationship with her and she has NEVER called me or her half brother to say Happy birthday or boo or anything.
Feels awkward, and she is joining SD in the battles and meddling a bit.
As a step-mother watching the
As a step-mother watching the sordid mess you've described and obviously zero contact motivated by a real sense to know you as a person I don't see any reason for you to even acknowledge that the kid exists. Short of being polite if some how you get caught in her presence ("Hello how are you - sorry have to run") I'd avoid contact with her as much as possible.
Just because she's gotten herself knocked up is no reason to act like something wonderful has happened that calls for you to suddenly welcome her into your circle of acquaintances.
Congratulate her for what?
Congratulate her for what?
Exactly! For getting herself
Exactly! For getting herself knocked up without a job and living off of the government. Well then a HUGE round of applause for being a freakin loser.
If you dont have a relationship with her or contact with her, I dont think you saying congrats is going to mean anything anyways.
Congratulate her for what
Congratulate her for what exactly? Screwing up her life and now that of a child. What a mess. Stay far away from the mess.
I would stop all contact, and
I would stop all contact, and make sure you and your husband are on the same page not to enable this loser. Meaning no money, no turning up on the doorstep.
And be happy you hardly ever see her, I agree I wouldn't consider her even a daughter to your dh, sometimes people makes mistakes and they move on from them. This is for sure a past mistake.
I don't think it's a good
I don't think it's a good idea. If you see her somewhere and she says something about it you could say "that's nice, congratulations" or something, but going further than that would just create opportunities for her to trample all over you.
I would not call.
I would not call.
I guess this is one of
I guess this is one of those dammed if you do or dammed if you don't.I don't think I'll bother.
I think it is a disaster and I am sure it will end up being her back at moms with baby. her mom can barely support herself either.
Just keeps getting more complicated.
Having been in your situation
Having been in your situation it is a toss of the coin. You sound like me a little over a year ago. If you want contact with the baby then by all means call her, or send a card. But make sure when she calls wanting money you know what you are willing/not willing to do. And listen to everyone else here, don't get your hopes up, keep your walls up, or you may get burned. And even if you reach out, try to start a relationship, there is no way to know if she will allow you to be with the baby. You have to do what you feel is right for your situation. You are the one who has to end up living with what you do or don't do. I hope things work out for ya!
No congratulations IMHO.
No congratulations IMHO. There is no reason to celebrate an out of wedlock pregnancy by a dead beat 30yo who can't support herself, selected a looser sperm donor who can't support himself and who are about to spawn yet another generation of entitelment baby.
Buy a savings bond in the baby's name, photo copy it and send it to them in a generic card telling them to send the kid to you and grand pa to collect the bond when the kids turns 18/21/+ or whatever you and DH decide.
IMHO of course. We never sent my BIL1 or my SIL any congratulations on their out of wedlock welfare babys. We engage with our neices and nephew and we send them birthday gifts, etc. When we visit we take the kids to do special things that their idiot parents can't provide for them but we do not recognize their idiot parents for makeing stupid decisions regarding basic biological functions and taking advantage of the taxpayers.