Dreading the Holiday Season
I am SO not looking forward to any of the holiday season coming up. Now that the "gloves are off" with my SD, I'm dreading it. We've always gone to my mum's for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Christmas morning is routinely spent going to our daughter in law's in the morning and then off to SD's house to be ignored by her two kids (age 10 and 12 now) and given two very token-type gifts that have not varied in 10 years: a hickory farm gift box for her dad and a calendar for me. We give them cash, them and their kids. I think my calendar came from the dollar store last year. And I don't care about the gifts, it's just the obvious lack of attention paid in choosing them. And for the record, they probably make more money than we do now and STILL we give THEM money. Aaarrrgghhh.
Just anticipating the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas, I'm hyperventilating a bit, anticipating the absolute worst behavior. I'm not just talking about the kids, I'm not sure if I can control my mouth either, my sarcasm, back-handed compliments. It's just: why do I have to be the "adult" when I'm dealing with adults? I will, of course, mind my manners, but I have so much chatter going on in my head since my confrontation with SD. So many things I should have said and not said.
Anyway, that's my holiday rant.
My husband told SD22 flat
My husband told SD22 flat out, that this year we are only buying for children. So, we will buy gifts for her kids but not for her. We never see her on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day so that is not an issue. Her BM's family has always been much more important. Fine by me.
We have never received a gift from her. Never. Not anything homemade, not something cheap from the Dollar Store. Not even a card. No gesture of any kind.
My husband and I are going to spend the holidays with just the two of us this year, doing whatever we want.
That's sounds like a great
That's sounds like a great idea, put all the effort into just the children. We don't see SD or her kids more than four times a year, five max.
Hey, Annev..., I'm sorry
Hey, Annev..., I'm sorry you've lived like this too! I never really considered the whole cooking everything and then cleaning everything. I've done that too since I met these SKIDS. Not a finger lifted to help, not once that I recall.
I just got the "I'm not a card person" from the SD about her father's recent birthday, which she basically disregarded. Well, I think I'LL stop being a card person too and just give her and her awful family Christmas money in a business envelope with a hand-drawn stick figure of Santa on it or a crappy scribble of their last name and that's all. She does not realize that I've been the one buying all the cards and gifts for her and her family for the last 15 years. Well she's going to figure it out this year for sure. I think I'll get a money gift card, one for all four of them to share and mail it to them so they can understand that they've finally screwed up. OR I could go get them the same crappy Hickory Farms gift box and a Dollar Store calendar they give us every year and mail that with it? Just to be "nice." }:)
Her father and I talked about Christmas gifts this year and we've decided to just do money, which is all SD ever really wants. One year we gave them LL Bean gift certificates and you could see the blatant disappointment in their faces, all of them. Like how dare we disappoint them sorts of looks. All of these SKIDS make more money than we do now. I suggested to hubby yesterday that maybe we should tell them to just "give us money" this year.
I wish we could skip the holidays completely, too.
It's the homemade gifts,
It's the homemade gifts, Foxie, that we put all of our time into and THEN get the ungrateful shuffling of the gift around on the table with a half-hearted "thanks", if that, and then they leave it. It's worse with the grandkids acting like that because you know they've been taught to hate you by their parents, the SKIDS. For me, that's worse - seeing the disdain in the grandkids eyes and knowing where it came from.
Foxie ~ that is funny as
Foxie ~ that is funny as Hell. Some of those giant pixie sticks n my favorite playdoh !!!!
I have always said ~ if
I have always said ~ if someone gives you playdoh is a sure fire indication they don't like you ~ lol. That crap is THE WORST gift ever ~ n kids love it. ~ Mom can we play with the playdoh ~ meanwhile I chucked that shit as soon as I got it
I dread the holidays too
First, in broken up families, it's always a bitch figuring out who goes where and when. For some reason it's always different each year.
And now, because we got a bigger house, my FDH wants his family here for Thanksgiving AND Christmas...guess who will be doing most of the cooking and cleaning? It's not that I don't like his family, I do. I just don't like the fact that we never get to go to his mom's house because it's a mess and she doesn't want to do any of the work.
I used to enjoy the holidays.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent.
I go spend most holidays with
I go spend most holidays with my family. After the first two years of being given a different gift than the other wives (My husband sister in laws) I told my husband I was done. I drive over two hours to spend the day with my sister and her two college age kids and my ma. And my husband's side does not bother to buy me a present anymore. I will usually be around when my husband has his kids but they are not that bad. Its my mother in law and my husband's sisters that are the problem. Huge family and my husband is the only Divorced and remarried one. They look past his divorce because his ex wife created and left. I'm not forgiven because my husband didn't cheat on me. He was just a lazy slob and I left him.
Oh the joys of the holidays.
Your in-laws sound like a
Your in-laws sound like a most bizarre bunch, AIW! They cannot forgive you for divorcing your first husband? What business is that of theirs? I do not get it... you must be a stellar person if in their quest to find something about you not to like this is all they could come up with. Also the double standard is nice... what a peculiar family! At least your skids are nice...
My situation is opposite ( and quite typical, i am told): Dh's extended family welcomed me with open arms, they love seeing him happy, but the skids are another story.
Welcome to Step-talk! Make yourself comfortable: you are likely to spend a lot of time here!
Oh the Holidays...that is why
Oh the Holidays...that is why I am here. Long back story on SD who now lives with inlaws to protect myself and our other kids from harm. I raised the little brat for 8 years when her mom abandoned her, through several military deployments (hubs was deployed) on my own, from the age of 19...no bars for this girl, I was home being a mother to a child that wasn't mine. Now the darling calls me by my first name instead of "Mom" and all the dumbass adults just let her do it without a word about how disrespectful it is or how good I was to her or how I deserve better...no they are too scared of her wrath to stand up to the 14 year old brat for me. So I have absolutely no support while everyone caters to the juvenile delinquent. I cannot control my tongue with this child...when she is a disrespectful brat I point it out to her...so she hates me even more and the other "adults" sit back with their asses on their hands like they are helpless and like they are scared of what poor SD is going to respond with. Once last summer I kicked her outside for calling me a bitch in my own home...my inlaws went outside to eat with her.
So if these holidays are anything like the last ones, SD will be making sexual remarks in front of her own father and grandparents, she will chase my kids around the house and scare the crap out of them, she will try to go snooping through my house to see what she wants to steal, she will not even acknowledge my presence or tell me hello or good-bye. But she will definitely eat the food I make and ensure her voice is louder than everyone else's to make sure she is heard. All adults will sit back while she either ignores me or calls me by name in front of them.
Guess who isn't buying evil brat ANY Christmas presents this year? Not that it matters, DH already bought her a top of the line MP3 player and a dog...dummy can't tell her no.
Oh this is going to suck
Buy her a muzzle and a huge
Buy her a muzzle and a huge box of condoms for Christmas - both useful and practical. }:)
We have so many places to go,
We have so many places to go, that I tried to get my in-law's to join my family at our house, but "they don't feel like getting out"....smh. I insist we do Christmas at our home. At least, I feel like I have the right to expect proper behavior in my home since I'm not allowed to reprimand SD at the in-law's.