I agree, to a certain extent, this is a decent use for her parent's money. But when BM money generally goes to her new bf, I do have a problem with her "fun mom" syndrome that makes her pay for basketball, but not lunch or Dr. bills, or anything else that goes along with raising her kids.

I agree with everything you've said here and this is what we currently do in our house.

I guess I was rushing and forgot to mention BM is signing the kids up for this league in addition to the league in which they already participate which leads to 3 practices per week, 2-4 games per Saturday for a 6 and 8 yr old. Which I honestly believe is stretching the kids too thin. Mostly because this is in addition to homework, piano, church, etc, things we already do and have always done.

Perhaps it is how I was raised, my dad always said quality is better than quantity.

But, I do agree there are positive things that could come out of this. However, I believe this is another attempt by BM to control DH life, her latest attempt included a motion in court to restrict DH to living only in our current county. The language currently says "county and contiguous counties unless BM moves outside county and contiguous at which point DH can move wherever he pleases." BM says its not fair that DH can move outside our county and then can move even further if she moved outside the county or contiguous.

BM wants DH on a leash, by forcing practices 3 days per week and games on half of each Saturday, she's basically putting restrictions on his time.

Thanks for the advice, its not actually getting them to practice at this point, its getting them to practice and everything else (homework, piano, church, family dinner). Even the skids current league puts a strain on some things, an extra league will just increase that.

I never said they had to be joined at the hip to their dad, neither did I say I wanted to be their mother. I understand full well that they already have a mother and its not me.

The kids are already playing in a basketball league that practices on Mondays and plays on Saturdays, a league they play in every year at this time.

BM has made a decision to put the kids into a different league that practices on Tuesday and Wednesday, which means Monday-Wednesday evenings we will struggle to have any sort of down time because Monday is their regular league, Tuesday is practice for this new league, and Wednesday is practice and church. In addition, now, we have 2 places to be on Saturdays for two sets of games.

Also, this is the same BM who says its not her responsibility to put money on the kids lunch accounts, ever, because skids are with us more days during the week. So yes, it does frustrate me that she would find money to pay for something that puts more responsibility on DH and I as well as more demands on our time without even so much as a heads up or a "hey what do you think about this". And like I said, BM has not paid CS in over a year, and I'm not sure how it works in your household, but this leaves DH with the short end of the stick having to scrimp, sacrifice and save to make ends meet and care for his kids while BM spends her money on her new bf. I'd much rather BM come up with the money (which is code for BM is going to get her parents to foot the bill) to help raise her kids than signing them up for more activities. Because despite the benefits of the sport, I think its more important that skids have food, shelter, etc.

It started with an argument between BM and her parents outside of court one day about her spending habits.
Then one day, ss6 came back after a visit at BM and asked "can we take our Xbox to mommy's house because mommy bought bf a new Xbox but he won't let us play it and I told him we have our own".
Another time, after going school shopping, ss8 said ",mommy was going to buy us some new shoes too, but she didn't have enough after she bought bf some new shoes."
Also, bf got up in court and reported being unemployed, which leads me to believe BM is taking care of him, since they live together.