Am I being unreasonable???....honest opinions please
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No not at all. Your DH is being VERY unreasonable!

You are being completely reasonable in my male opinion.

SD is only there 3 days per month and he is worried about her feeling put out? Very odd IMHO.

Paint the room. Move your stuff upstairs and the girls down and stage the house to best advantage for sale.

This is not a kid issue, a blended family issue or any other relationship issue IMHO but an intelligent adult who is selling their home issue.

Good luck.

Why does a Skid that spends 3 days a month in your house have the MB? I'm with ybarra, I can't get past that one.
Screw what DH wants, paint the damn room.

Being pushed out? Of a house you're selling? WTF?

No, you're not being unreasonable. If people can't look past it its Your Family's problem because the house won't sell or could sell for substantially less. It's not like you're talking about throwing her bedding away, it's going to be stored or moved until you're in the new place. So the walls get painted - again You're Moving. They won't be her walls anymore. What, is he going to ask the new owners for visitation rights so SD can see her walls EOWe? She gets new walls in the new house. Whole family deals with changes when a house goes on the market. Or they do if they want it to sell anyway. He's being an idiot.

NOT unreasonable...

when ours was listed, it was repainted etc.. then on EOWE, SD slept at inlaws bc she could not be trusted to keep everything spotless the way it needed to be. I was tired of doing all of the cleaning. DH tried to help, but his attitude was- " you know, people walking through here know someone lives here.... "

Like it or not- best price will come from something that looks (somewhat) sterile and staged... no personal items, not too many pictures- neutral everything. I have bought and sold 6 houses in the last 10yrs- works everytime.

and SHE'S THERE 3X A MONTH?? with the master? paint it

GOOD LUCK!

Evil, I am with you. I'm a guy and I don't understand your husband's reluctance at all. Whether or not your SD is there 3 nights a month or 3 weeks a month, it makes no difference. YOU ARE ALL MOVING OUT. This means that everyone has to get used to the changes that are coming. The longer he coddles SD through this transition, the harder it will be on SD. This may only make matters worse.

I used to be part-time painter and you are right about making the MB's a neutral color. You want the bedrooms to not only look warm and inviting, but light/neutral colours give the illusion that the room has a lot of space.

I'm wondering if your DH is really not wanting to put the house on the market? The SD is not a little child going to feel misplaced, the kid is like mid-teens IIRC?

With a teen the comes 3 nights a month is besides the point. Any kid that age can well understand the need for a home being shown as above the competition. Actually besides just repainting and weeding out a bit DH/you should be doing a major overhaul. Starting with curbside appeal and following through to every last corner of every last closet (regardless of who sleeps in what room). A MB can make or break a deal. Closets, bathrooms, it all needs to look clean, fresh and spacious. Rent a storage room and put everything not needed in it. You want the rooms spacious and you want the sight-seers that are your potential buyers to be able to envision themselves and their belongings in the space. They don't want to look at how you live, they want to picture how they could live there.

I assume SD will be receiving a room of some type at wherever you're moving to? Enlist her help in sorting out her bedroom. She can toss what's she's outgrown (or sell it for spending money) and pack away what she wants to make the move. Paint the room then leave bed, dresser and whatever else can make the room look 'showcase room' style. I assume the other child's room is getting the same cleaned out freshened up look? You're not displacing any child, you're marketing the space/house. All the little darlings and their belongings will be arriving at new house and settling in. Life will go on.

Tell Dh to stop being an obstructionist. Sit him down and show him other homes online on the market. Ask him what about each home appealed to him and which ones he dislikes, and why. I'm sure he'll find some he thinks aren't 'move-in' ready, some appear to be too much work to freshen up, and even some that are cluttered up and he can't imagine how his things would work in that little space. Select homes to show him that are in your home's price range and let him get a look-see what his competition is. If the exercise doesn't change Dh's attitude, I'd be seriously wondering if he is stalling on actually listing.

if she is only their 3 nights of the month, I don't think it should make a difference if you paint her room or not...technically its not her room its YOUR HOUSE!!

I'm a real estate broker. Yes, you need to make the house as appealing as possible - if there is one crumb on your kitchen counter, buyers will see it as filthy. I once did an open house, the family had I think 6 kids under the age of 4 (there were at least 2 sets of twins in there). Their house was not filthy at a glance, but if you looked in the bathroom sink there was toothpaste crusted in it. The dishwasher was full of dirty dishes. Cobwebs in a corner here and there. Every single buyer who came to the open house had a sh*t-fit about how filthy and disgusting the house was. They had 3 bedrooms - master, and 2 kid's rooms, so there were 3 kids crammed in both of the other rooms, and they were not big rooms. All the buyers saw was how cramped it was, they didn't see 'hey, there's THREE race car beds in this room, the room is not as small as it seems, I would only have ONE kid in here.' Buyers really are not capable of looking past minor things or visualizing how it would look with their stuff in it.

I can suggest a few solutions. Paint the room all 1 color, that alone would help. You can pick a few somewhat neutral colors that you like and let her pick from them - if her favorite color is purple, go for a shade of gray with just a tiny hint of purple in it. Making the final choice from the options you give her will make her feel included. You can do the same with bedding. From my experience having a 'kid' room isn't a major problem, but the master bedroom should look more like a MASTER BEDROOM, not a child's room. You can also ask the agent if she can put something in the agents-only comments of the listing, just a simple explanation that the kids all wanted to be 'together' and normally that bedroom would be the master. But I really think if you explain it to her as 'we need your help to make the house look super-awesome so we can get a new house where you can have your room how you want it' she would be fine with it. If all else fails, I have seen sellers offer an allowance for paint/flooring/other cosmetic stuff. You'll have to check with your agent on this, but there are many times that a listing says "With an acceptable offer and terms, seller is offering $1000 allowance at closing to replace carpet." Basically they buy the house and you refund them $1000 to buy new carpet (paint costs less than carpet!). Check with your agent and let her give you some advice, that's what we get paid for!

This is an adult decision that doesn't affect SD's safety or well being, so I dont even know why her feelings are even being considered.

Your DH is a douche. (sorry) and you aren't being unreasonable at all.

Thanks!

the above is all great! I will say we are doing the same, and are painting all the bedrooms a gray with white trim. SD's room was painted over (had pink blocks in geometric shapes before) prior to SS's room... no one gave a crap, they are too excited about a new house!

If you wanted to paint her room just for the sake of painting her room.. And if she spent most of her time in it, then I may think it'd be a little harsh to paint it. However, if you're neutralising your daughters room, your SD is barely in the room AND it's all for the good of making a profit on selling your home then you're by no means out of order. Perhaps show your DH this forum..

Your dh is being unreasonable. Paint the master. It won't be sd room when you sell it. And if she and dh can't look past it, that's their problem. If your the one doing all the painting and cleaning up, why on earth did you even ask him. Go and paint the room, what's he going to do, leave?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Although I'm not selling up yet, I am starting to refurbish areas that need it, whether painting, refinishing floors or what have you. One of my kids only comes home occasionally (he is nearly 22, and lives in the City - I don't expect him to "live" here again, although he knows he can always come home temporarily if needed). I recently repainted "his" room as it is now mine - when my parents moved in, I gave them the MBR as it is more convenient for them for many and varied reasons. When he visists, he stays in the 4th/guest BR.

The other comes home on breaks, over the summer, etc. Her room is.... bright green w/murals that she's painted on the walls. Hey, it's her room, and that's fine. But she knows that, when I AM ready to sell up, that room will have to be repainted. She's 19 - she understands this.