Field trip expense controversy

Forums:

I have one bio daughter (12). My SO and his three children (13, 12 and 10) have lived in my home full-time for the last 2 1/2 years. A problem that continues to arise is the matter of who pays for expensive field trips and expensive school costs such as renting musical instruments.

For example, my daughter's 7th-grade class trip to the state capitol is coming up. It costs about $250. My SO's son's 8th-grade class trip to Washington DC is scheduled for this coming spring. It costs about $800.

There is much debate about whether it is fair for me to send my daughter on her trip but not pay for the boy to go on his class trip. I think the boy's mom and dad should cover his costs -- not me. I plan to ask my daughter's dad to help me pay for some of the cost of her field trip.

Am I out of line? How do you guys handle something like this?

Background: BM lives in another state and pays zero child support. My SO doesn't make much money. I pay all the bills.

I think so needs to file for

I think so needs to file for cs from bm ASAP if he has not. If he has but she won't pay up, he needs to contact your state's CSE. The kids deserve financial support for their mom.

Hopefully taking these steps will help very soon, so ss can go on his trip. But if things don't change, so may have to do as hrnyc said.

Bm shouldn't be able to get away with not paying cs.

I cannot get over how your SO

I cannot get over how your SO has the balls to let you pay all the bills AND think it is your responsibility to make life fair for his kids.

How I would handle it in MY house is, my kid would get to go on her field trip if her dad and I could afford it, and his kid would get to go if his parents (not me) could afford it. If not, they (not me) get to explain the facts of life to their kid.

Why does your SO have custody of 3 kids if he can't afford it? Where were they living before they moved in with you?

And no, you are not out of line, your SO is.

If you pay for your

If you pay for your daughter's trip that's up to you. You mentioned her biodad helping to pay, as is proper because he's her father. Your SO's kids, that's up to him. He needs to go after deadbeat BM to pay CS. You already pay all the bills, wtf more does he want?!? Also, has he tried talking to the school about not being able to afford the trip? Sometimes they have "scholarships" available to people whose parents can't afford it. Definitely something he should look into. You shouldn't be paying for everything for the household and everything for his kids on top of it.

SO's ex-wife simply will not

SO's ex-wife simply will not pay CS. He keeps taking her to court. She has been found in contempt and will be placed in jail to force payment -- but only if she comes to our state and is arrested here. Since the BM lives several states away and works under the table to prevent money from being taken out of her paycheck, it is hard to make her help out financially.

He and BM are two peas in a

He and BM are two peas in a pod. They are both using you to support their children.

This man and his three kids

This man and his three kids live in your home for FREE :jawdrop:
and he has the nerve to bitch to you about a damn trip.

My head is about to explode.

Stick to your guns and make his butt pay some (at least half) of the bills.

Ok..first off...why are you

Ok..first off...why are you with a man that does not pay any bills?

Tattoo this on his forehead..."I pay for my kids and you pay for your kids!"

He sounds very spoilt. But it is because you let him.

LOL My hubby could tattoo

LOL My hubby could tattoo that for you. jk. I agree with that. We support our daughter together but my husband is the one who pays for his child support. We even file our taxes separately, but married. so that his goes to what he needs to pay. We have an agreement that it is his responsibility to take care of his own his kids, because I didn't help make them.