DH and I got in an argument last night about, surprise surprise, SD nearly 21.

It wasn't even the direct topic of conversation but as soon as I brought up her name in reference to something else, DH pounced.

Over the course of our fight, here is what he revealed last night:
-- Admitted to paying more than his one-third share of SD's college costs
-- Admitted that the money we have been putting away since she was born up until she turned 18 is nearly gone
-- Admitted he wants her to stay in the dorms, and on the meal plan (she is in her third year of college), because it is "safer"
-- The ONLY reason DH told SD to move out of the dorms is because of the pressure I have put on him

None of the money for SD's college is coming from our personal accounts, but from ages 8 to 18 DH and I were married and had a joint account, so a great deal of SD's college money came from me. And yet I have no say in how it is spent. DH says I shouldn't have a problem as long as the money is there. I said there is no point in wasting money that could be better spent elsewhere. If you can get the same product for $45 or $25, why wouldn't you pick $25?!

SD20 is in a mid-level state school, getting a 2.0 GPA and taking the minimum number of classes, so it will take her five years to graduate. Calculating what it has cost so far, SD's college is going to cost $45,000. This compares with a co-worker of mine who graduated four years ago from a higher-level, more expensive school and her college only cost $25,000. And yet DH sees no problem with this.

DH says we agree to disagree, which means he gets to continue doing whatever he wants and I get to continue to seethe at not being included but being expected to finance this debacle.