Summer Vacation Guilt

Summer vacation is coming up. I have been overcome with guilt because I don't know if I can include SS12 or not. I am going home for a family reunion this summer, it's a big deal, and it could be a 2-3 day drive from central Canada to the most easterly point! Or a very expensive trip for 4 on a plane with car rental once we arrive. But with just three of us on the plane, the costs go way down....DH can't contribute because with CS and the other expenses like braces, tutoring, daycamp, etc he has nothing left. I pay all expenses for my daughter's daycare and expenses. Basically I am a single mom with a husband. Seriously.

So I am wondering if I am going to end up going to hell if I don't include SS12. I really don't have the cash to include him. It's a lot of freelance work for me to make the extra 2 thousand for him to come and to be honest that just takes away time with my daughter.

Has anyone ever taken a vacation without the stepkids and how did you handle it?

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Hmm... I can see you not

Hmm... I can see you not wanting to add on the extra costs to yourself. What do you think will happen if you tell DH you cannot pay for SS?

There are people who don't include their skids in trips. IMHO, if you cannot afford to take him, then you can't. But I guess you should be prepared that if SS can't go, DH might not want to attend either...

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

Either DH and I go alone on

Either DH and I go alone on vacation or we take perfectson and SDs both. (SS22 hates to travel and would prefer to never go on vacation with us again after he went when he was younger).

This year we are going to change that up and take perfectson by himself somewhere as a high school graduation gift to him, but then we will also do the same for each SD upon their graduation. That being said, we also take the SDs by themselves for a long weekend each year before school starts to an amusement park about 5 hours away and we spend a couple nights there so they still get a mini-vacation.

Otherwise, it just doesn't seem fair to me to take one kid and not the other, especially if there are just 2 kids.

I dont think you're wrong.

I dont think you're wrong. If your DH cant pay for him to go then why does it HAVE to be your job? Its not. SD13 isnt going with us on our trip. She said she didnt want to go. That she'd rather go visit her grandparents. WELL h decided to ask her and basically try to beg her to come. I told him they can both stay home together. Im spending 1K to take her to Disney World after she said she didnt want to go. I dont care how much backpedaling either of them try. She's not going and I dont feel bad for it.

I've already told DH that I

I've already told DH that I can't pay for it all. As usual he didn't say anything. My daughter will only be 2 and I am not leaving her with anyone else. Also, my aunts are getting old and I would love for them to meet her. They've all met SS12 before.

Eh, you should go. I don't

Eh, you should go. I don't like when people don't do things for themselves or their biokids because they cannot afford it for their skids too. That is their parents job. SS's mom isn't gonna not do something for her kid because she can't do it for yours too. You biggest obligation is to you and yours.

I am not saying to purposely exclude SS, but if you can't afford it, you can't. It's up to his dad to figure this one out.