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Just need to vent

vanrocksout's picture

Submitted by vanrocksout on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 9:02am

Why is it that custodial BM's really have no financial responsibility when it comes to their kids? Why doesn't custodial BM have to maintain a standard of living? My SS is almost 14. He's not a special needs kid and I don't see why she can't get a second job, because I work two, why can't she? Why is it okay in the eyes of family court that she only make 13000 a year...down from 26000.....when my husband has to work long hours and overtime so her monthly payment doesn't go down but yet she doesn't have to hold up her end of the extra expenses split? Extra expenses in our case include: braces, sports, and post secondary education. It was 30% BM and %70 DH. Now it's 88% DH and only 12% BM. But yet, she can go on a trip to Mexico in January.

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Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 9:09am

Quite agree. I have had to swallow my frustration for the last 9 years at the obscenely large monthly sum that my husband pays to the BM for his 2 SDs. I mean how much can two girls eat, wear and bathe that it takes THAT amount of money to sustain it? He also pays private school fees. I know for a fact that part of his maintenance money went on a camper van a few years ago, bought by BM's so-called fiance costing £50,000.
My only comfort is that in 18mths and 3 years respectively, the pouring of money down this massive rat hole will stop.

vanrocksout's picture

Submitted by vanrocksout on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 9:11am

I pray every day that SS13 doesn't go to college or university because then we're done in just over 4 years!

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 9:34am

In my ideal system (that doesn't exist of course) there would be a set amout calculated for what it takes to raise a child (google it - the USDA has calculated it based on age of child). Each parent would be responsible for 50% of that amount calculated on an annual basis, off-set by where the child spends time. If the child is with you 20% of the time you pay the other parent 80% of the split expense.

This is probably a flawed fantasy but, hey, I'm allowed to have them, right? Smile

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 9:20am

Yes - we are in UK and under these guidelines - my DH earns a lot - but because of CS we still have a quarter of a million pound mortgage to pay off, although he's in his late 40's, we live in a modest semi-detached house, and go for one week's holiday a year within the UK. So much for banker's champagne lifestyles!

JRTerrierMom's picture

Submitted by JRTerrierMom on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 10:40am

I just had this conversation with a buddy of mine who pays over $1300 for 2 kids plus extras when they need/want it. My buddy pays the support and works it out with his ex when he's short. She just went to Mexico WITHOUT their kids. Want to guess what her flight cost was?

Frustrating thing is he and my ex have about the same payment per month, do the same job, and make about the same amount of money. My kids dad has gone mia - i think I've had $350 total in a year and a half. That's approx. $.64 a day.

I get so mad at the BM's out there who get their nails done, hair done, shop, go on trips, buy new cars, blah blah and totally abuse the system. I just want to be able to put my DD13 in dance, pay for my DS8 upright bass in strings, and afford to buy school clothes from somewhere OTHER than goodwill. I'd like to buy some clothes, even if they ARE from goodwill.

Not all of us are squanderers and moneypits, lol.

JRTerrierMom

lily11's picture

Submitted by lily11 on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 1:20pm

It's not right. I understand the need to vent about it on occasion.

ss15 doesn't even live with BM now and DH still pays BM child support. BM doesn't work. She sits at home and lives off child support. Sadly ss15 chooses to live with BM's parents instead of DH.

It's not right.