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vanrocksout's Blog

nothing but the BEST for the SS

vanrocksout's picture

It's a dumb rant but it pisses me off. I am not one to waste money and I search for great deals on second hand stuff all of the time from clothes to furniture etc. Everything in my daughter's room and the new arrivals room is second hand.....we have a ton of second hand toys, clothes etc for the young kids, my biological kids and that's fine but last night I suggested buying a new dresser for hubby and I and giving SS13 our old one and hubby was like, why can't he have a new one?

Just need to vent

vanrocksout's picture

Why is it that custodial BM's really have no financial responsibility when it comes to their kids? Why doesn't custodial BM have to maintain a standard of living? My SS is almost 14. He's not a special needs kid and I don't see why she can't get a second job, because I work two, why can't she? Why is it okay in the eyes of family court that she only make 13000 a year...down from 26000.....when my husband has to work long hours and overtime so her monthly payment doesn't go down but yet she doesn't have to hold up her end of the extra expenses split?

who keeps a bedroom for their stepkids?

vanrocksout's picture

SS13 has always had his own bedroom at our house.....mainly because he's the first born and we currently have two kids and everyone has their own room. We have him every other weekend and every other week in the summer. But now, we have a baby coming along and need the space. My DD3 is a light sleeper and I refuse to put a baby in her room while another space sits empty for at least 20 days a month. Has any one else been in this situation and what did you do? I come from a family of 6 and always had a to share a room.

ok...so birth mother wants a vacation without the kid

vanrocksout's picture

let's go back a year....I asked BM politely if we could switch weeks in the summer so DH and I could travel on an adults only vacation to attend a wedding on another province. It's costly to travel where I'm originally from and we planned on staying with friends. My mom was going to take my DD. She (BM) refused to switch weeks and said she would find the most expensive camp for SS to attend and we would be on the hook for 70% of it as per court order. So we ended up taking him and it cost us a fortune.....flight and hotel and food...

letter to the birth mother after she said my DH doesn't spend enough time with SS

vanrocksout's picture

How nice of you to give DH some grief yesterday about not spending enough time with your son!! You have no idea what you’re talking about. You, and you alone changed the dynamics of their relationship during the winter of 2009 because of your own selfishness. SS needs to learn that every other weekend is not party time just because he has arrived. Life continues in his absence and events will not be put on hold because he chose not to visit as often.

I'm okay with not liking my stepson

vanrocksout's picture

I've tried. For many years now. I don't tell him I don't like him, I just don't feel guilty about it anymore. The kid is 13 now and still eats like a caveman. Chomps like a sloppy dog. We just choose not to take him out anymore or have people over to our house when he's visiting. He doesn't care that people think he's gross. Maybe he will later at a high school reunion where people tell him they didn't like him because he chomps.

Summer Vacation Guilt

vanrocksout's picture

Summer vacation is coming up. I have been overcome with guilt because I don't know if I can include SS12 or not. I am going home for a family reunion this summer, it's a big deal, and it could be a 2-3 day drive from central Canada to the most easterly point! Or a very expensive trip for 4 on a plane with car rental once we arrive. But with just three of us on the plane, the costs go way down....DH can't contribute because with CS and the other expenses like braces, tutoring, daycamp, etc he has nothing left. I pay all expenses for my daughter's daycare and expenses.