SO an I have our first appt with therapist later today
I'm nervous! He's expensive and we only get an hour, I've so much I want to cover, mostly to do with how SO (and I) deal with BM's craziness. B/C of all her awful claims (judge threw them all out, but) SD's lawyer has decided to he will visit our home next week and view us with SD, just to put BM's bullsh!tty claims to rest (it's so unfair that we have to be 'inspected' but not her grr, but hopefully he'll see straightaway that everything BM says is a lie) So, we want to be prepared mentally for this visit, SO in the past has made the mistake of being very defensive when communicating with this lawyer out of fear, we're hoping to get tools to get on the lawyers 'better' side.
Any tips on how to get the most from an hours session? Should I write out a list of things that are important to me then prioritize? Any advice would be helpful, thanks 
Just want to add, this
Just want to add, this therapist already knows SO and BM, he was their court appointed counsellor/mediator, and he bright up to both of them that BM could be BPD, so luckily we won't have to spend too much time giving him the back story
I'm confused. If the judge
I'm confused. If the judge threw out her claims why do you have to allow the lawyer to "inspect" you? Is this bm's lawyer? Because if that were the case my response would be to tell this lawyer to go piss off. I wouldn't trust a lawyer I knew had a monetary investment with the opposing party. If BM is paying this attorney, the attorney is working for her. I would insist an non bias, third party observer with no personal stake in the matter do this visit. JMHO.
In our country, as soon as
In our country, as soon as two parents go through lawyers to sort out kids related stuff, the courts issue the children with a lawyer, so yeah, it is separate from both parents, however recently because BM's lawyers hands were tied on certain things, BM went straight to SD's lawyer judge growled her for that and said if she does it again she'll be billed for ALL of SD's lwyers costs. n
Oookay. I feel better
Oookay. I feel better knowing this now.
**UPDATE** Hmm. He's good,
**UPDATE**
Hmm. He's good, very good, i'll admit that.
I wanted to bop SO upside the head lol he kept getting frustrated and rude with me when I wanted to say something (I didn't interrupt, but like I nerd, I'd put my hand up lol tis my first therapist session so com'on
)
Also, I wanted to do this to save MINE AND SO's relationship, NOT help him figure out his relationship with BM! He can do that on his own time and $$$, so I was a little disappointed that we didn't spend much time talking about US. (and yes, I did discuss with SO before the appt that I wanted it to be focused on US, not so much BM even though she is the cause of most of our issues, I believe the way SO and I DEAL with it is what has us on the edge of a break up!)
We have a couple more appointments booked, I want to tell the therapist next time that I want the that session focused on me and SO, I really need to learn some tools for being able to accept disengaging better (at the mo, I don't trust SO to not fuck things up further with BM, he can be a bit daft and childish sometimes when dealing with his sh!t and then it affects MY life)
Another thing, this is the therapist SO and BM were court ordered to see for 12 sessions, therapist revealed (not sure if he realized it, and he didn't say anything specific) that he is currently seeing BM, I've a feeling he's a total professional and wont call her out on some of the things we revealed about her (he was shocked about some of the things) but he had a great understanding of what we're dealing with which was helpful. He did say to SO that he should go for 50/50 soon and that if BM isn't careful about the things she's saying about us, she's going to lose all custody of SD, therapist says he see's it happen all the time with parents like BM.
Sorry it's a long update, feels good to get this out though, thanks for reading
Hey, that's a really good
Hey, that's a really good point
makes me feel a bit better about our session! Thanks fightincrazytrain! Not only did SO want to talk about her a lot, he did it using his whiny 'whoa is me' childish attitude, now I'm really looking forward to the next few sessions 