Hey all.

I have been posting here for a year or so and this forum has been paramount in helping to prevent me from making choices that would affect my life n a major way.

I have a BF and he has two kids with sole custody (bm is a trainwreck and sees them every couple months or so) (his dd5 and ds3) and I have no kids and very likely not going to have any (medical issues, personal decision). We do not live together, i have my own apartment and live alone THANK GOD, but I see him and his kids very often. His kids are always happy to see me, run to me with hugs and kisses and telling me about school, their friends. I go with him to see their concerts, or to see other mutal friends with kids, we even went camping and I actually enjoyed it. I come to enjoy buying them things, playing with them, bathing them, etc. Don't get me wrong, they still get attitude and can be brats but bf has given me authority to layers thee smacketh should the time come, I find when I do they listen to me and do as they are told. Instead of a stepmother, I kind of am more of a fun auntie? I'm fine with it, bf is fine with it, and the skids are fine with it. Honestly, since all of us have come to this "mutual agreement" my relationship with all of them has been much more at ease.

To be frank, I like the arrangement we have and have no intentions of changing it anytime soon. I like having my own space and peace cause while I am a big part of their lives (and they are a big part of mine), I have my own life that includes my career, hot yoga, running, shopping, vacations with the gals, etc. Again, I have this amazing forum to thank for listening to my gut and planting my feet where I feel comfortable.

Problem is, with this arrangement people are chirping around us and inquiring when we are going to move forward With the relationship(I.e. move in together). They ask my bf when I plan on having my own child, why are we moving at a snails pace. They say the skids love you, it will get better when you move in now that you established yourself in their lives (somehow I doubt that), if you aren't going to move forward then you need to leave bf cause you are not being fair to hm and the kids. That i must not love them if i dont want to move in with them (meanwhile he is perfectly fine with our relationship as well) Since when does every relationship have to be living together? It doesn't mean I love them any less, I am living on my own for my own sanity. And to be frank, I don't want to live with another man again (been there, done that for 5 years and learned that I like my space). Also, this may sound selfish, but I like to have an easy way out of a relationship and having my own place kind of ensures that for me so if a breakup should occur I don't have to spend months packing, moving, etc.

Does anyone have this type of living arrangement with their dh/bf/skids? And you may share your opinions about our current arrangement if you wish to, I trust your guys insight and opinions and do take them seriously.

Thanks all.