Are you content keeping things as is until his kids age out? If not, maybe you should consider this relationship is just not right for you? Sometimes love is not enough...like when his kids drive you nuts and there is no way in hell you could live with them. 

They probably aren't going to change, and you can't flip a switch and make yourself like people that just "aren't your kind of people". Not everyone gets along and that's ok. What's not ok is forcing a square peg in a round hole. 

I'm not sure if you should leave the relationship or not. But, you don't have a maternal instinct in you for any of the skids, so it must be really difficult to be around them, even if they were normal kids for their age. For me, I at least felt that for my SD when she was younger (she's now 18). I could deal being around SS because I liked SD. Don't get me wrong though. Kids that aren't yours just doesn't feel the same. Stuff that the skids do that annoy me wouldn't affect me so much if DS3 did it. But, there is a difference. I can tell DS what to do - I'm his mother, so he probably won't exhibit the behaviors that they did. SS and SD were/are bratty with little actual parenting because of parental guilt, divorce, disengagement, whatever.

I lived with everyone for about 7 to 8 months in DH's small home. I was planning on leaving after the 2nd month because it was horrible for me living with them in such small quarters. The kids were obnoxious, there was one shower for everyone, I had to hang out with everyone in shared space, and the skids would regularly just walk into our bedroom. But, I already rented my condo at that point. It was a pretty crappy 7 months and I spent a lot of time out of the house.

After that, I purchased a much larger house. One with a bedroom plus rec room in the the basement, 3 showers/baths, and an extra bedroom. DH made it utterly clear to the skids that the second largest bedroom was my "sanctuary". No one but me was allowed in there under any circumstance. Of course the skids complained since they wanted that as a bedroom, but he was firm.

Because it was now DH and my house versus just DH's house, we could better set ground rules, like staying out of the master bedroom. It's even better now that we converted the basement to have two bedrooms (after DS was born). Both skids have their rooms there, they share one bathroom by themselves, and SS basically stays out of my hair because all of the games are in the basement. It feels more comfortable for me, since the entire 2nd floor is for me, DH, and DS3. Of course the skids will come up to the 2nd floor occasionally, but DH makes them feel uncomfortable when they do. Rightfully so. We don't invade their basement space, so they shouldn't be invading ours. The first floor is obviously for everyone.

This household setup has been so much better for my sanity.

I think you should probably find someone without kids.

This isn’t “Your” issue it is both of yours issue.... as you both have to work at the relationship. That is fact.

i think that you are resentful that the option of you being able to have your own kid is what the main problem is. And I don’t blame you.... that would hurt. I think that is making you resent the girls. And I mean honestly, there is not a ton of women who would be ok with this situation- you are not some ‘monster’ for feeling how you do. 

You need to have a serious chat with him about what YOU want in life and if he can’t help you out with that then you need to make some difficult decisions. 

I realize this doesn't address your question, but...

Why give up having your own kids only to be stuck with someone else's kids? That is too great a sacrifice.

And it's literally like accepting the worst part of parenting without ANY of the good parts of parenting!!!!!

With stepparenting, you get: all the mess, all the tension, all the cost, all the interruptions and limitations, all the negative impact on your marriage, all the responsibility of being a parent.

What you don't get (in most cases) is: true parental love, authority to discipline, ownership of the rewards when the kid achieves (it will always be the real parents who get the credit), the joy of parenting like genuinely enjoying time with kids and showing them the world (you take them to Europe because you must, not because you can't wait for them to see Europe...and inevitably, they ruin Europe).

If you don't want kids, don't have them. But why marry into them then? That's sucks for you and it's not even that fair to the skids.

If you do want kids, have them, but don't short change the experience with stepkids.

You are settling for the shit of parenting.

I was going to say your SO has some nerve blaming you for not being "maternal enough," but you know what? Maybe he called it right. Maybe you just aren't into kids enough to take all the negative without any of the positive. Good for you! Why should you settle for leftovers when you didn't get to eat at the first meal?

And by the way, there is NOTHING wrong with not accepting leftovers. Many women on here wish they had turned down the leftovers. I didn't want kids or stepkids. I am not maternal. And I am proud of it.

Think hard about this. Recognizing you aren't up for this might be the best favor you ever do for yourself.

PS: You also managed to find the worst possible scenario for a woman: STEPDAUGHTERS, and THREE OF THEM!!!!! You might have had a chance with a stepson, but SDs are absolutely the worst of the miserable lot.

I could have written this post myself! You and I soun d pretty similar, where we differ is the desire to have children.

My OH is also disappointed I'm not maternal. I tell him he's lucky I'm not, or he would be single OR  knee deep in nappies again with "our" baby.

No babies for you, but please mother my babies. No sir. That's not how it works.

Good for you for knowing what you need and making that clear.  Sounds like you and he are not on the same page and you should not move forward in this relationship.  It's not unreasonable for you to want your peace and quiet, but it's also not unreasonable for him to hope you might see his kids as more than a nuisance you need to put up with.  I didn't have to parent my SS, but I didn't hate his presence. (Now I kind of do, but that's a different story and he doesn't live there at all).

I'm guessing this is not the right man for you.

"it was a shame and is extremely disappointed"     "but OH does NOT want anymore."

He said this to you its YOUR fault you don't have maternal feelings for child that aren't yours.  

You my dear are being gaslighted.  There is no shame in any of this.  He is trying to mess with your head.  He expects the kids he came with to be enough for you, but its not and that's your choice not his.  

So why would a man do this to you??  Why would you allow him to confuse you like this??  

He makes no sense, is throwing word salad at you to manipulate you for some purpose of his.  F that...